Betty Freggin Crocker

Betty fucking crocker is in the house. I swear all I need is a freggin apron on and days of our lives blaring on the TV in the background and I'd be set. Went to Sam's Club this morning, got some more supplies, including a sampler case of smirnoff ice and a winter flavor pack of Sam Adams beers. I set up the coolers and wet bar, and planned out placements for certain dishes (remember I told you I was an anal bastard this week!) I got back in and then started in the kitchen. Made the peanut butter fudge, a shit-load of sugar cookies(decorated), white chocolate/dark chocolate swirl peppermint bark, some jello shots (which smell damn fucking good-cherry jello with black cherry vodka), and I started prepping apps like diced cheeses, summer sausage, veggies. I got all the stuff out of the way that will last a few days. Tomorrow I can start making the perishable items. Its fun work, but its still work. Looking at the rough total for this party, I remember that I usually drop about $600 on this party (hence the whole "invite only" thing. I wouldn't want to waste my time and money on those that won't appreciate it). I also regret at times not asking for donations anymore. It used to be $5 a head, but that deterred people from coming, so I said fuck it, the people I invite deserve to be here for free.

so it begins

The first big day prepping for Friday's festivities begins today. Today is shopping day, followed by prepping and baking more stable goods that can survive 3 days of freshness. So today I'll be making the fudge, sugar cookies, maybe the macaroni salad, prepping some appetizers. Cleaning starts today too. Give the bathrooms a good scrubba scrubba, as well as making sure toiletries are stocked up. Prepping the spare sleeping areas are done today too. Oh yeah, I also have to work tonight. So begins hell week.

Inherently wrong

So I went out on a jog with Jenny this afternoon. It was nice outside, but I still wore sweatpants to fight a bit of a chill. I went on my 2 mile jaunt, and while I was out there I saw something that boggled my mind and bared sharing.
Before I tell you of what I saw, let me first describe the current weather conditions in the valley. Yesterday we had a low pressure system move in with daytime temps going no higher than 58-60. Nighttime lows around the valley were hovering around the 38 degree mark with my house being at 35 degrees. Today's and the next 2 days it was not supposed to be higher than 63 degrees with an average low of about 40 at night. So in a nutshell, its been getting a bit nipply out here lately.
Here's the issue I have that bares sharing. I was out jogging today when I heard it. First out in the distance, then coming up quick in my direction. Getting louder and louder and I immediately thought, what the fuck is wrong with this guy???! The freggin ICE CREAM MAN was driving around the neighborhood!!! IN wintertime! He passed right by me, as I was wearing sweatpants, in November, passing a house where the owner was putting up Christmas lights...now you tell me...WHAT is wrong with that picture???
This guy, I shit you not, is the same guy that you hardly ever...EVER see out here in the summertime when its 1,000,000 degrees outside and small animals and children explode when they come in contact with the black pavement! I'm convinced that he was around today for 2 reasons...
1)He's freggin retarded! Coming around in a neighborhood when the National Weather Service has issued a freeze warning for the Phoenix metro area (seriously)
and
2) The fucker knows I'm on a diet and that ice cream is one of my vices..the fucker!
The man needs help...
anyways, that's my rant and I'm stickin to it!

5 days

Alright peeps! 5 days remaining until the big day. Time for me to hunker down and git-r-done. I have a lot of prep work and a ton of crap to do before the party on Friday.
I do have a lot of RSVP's this year. I figure around 10-15 just for the dinner part, plus guests. I do admit doing one fuck up this year. That is that I planned the party on a Friday night. Its a fuck up because at my job, 3/4 of the staff works that night, and nobody(besides me obviously) really can get the night off-unless they can magically conjure a bartender to fill in for them. So, its doubtful that I may get a good amount of co-workers showing up. It's alright, whoever does make it, makes it.

The holidays approacheth...where be my prozac?

It's amazing what the power of your own mind can do on both ends of the spectrum. It can elate you and then cause you stress and ill will. Prime example-I was to be on call at work tonight (Saturday) but I figured that if I didn't receive a call by 10pm then they wouldn't need me for the security shift. To make the time go by today, I braved the crowds out in the stores by going to Big Lots, Famous footwear and good old Wally world. I got a bunch of shit for the house, some new choenies and socks and two very nice, comfortable and OVERDUE new shoes. I got back, degeared, dragged all the holiday decorations out and decided to spend the night putting up the Christmas tree and inside decorations.
I put on some tunes and started plugging away at it.Being alone as I did this, I began to think...man, I think I put up Christmas decorations alone only one time before, and that time sucked.
So now I started getting all down. I still finished the decorations off, but wasn't very happy doing it. It was more along the lines of something that needed to be done...which is just plain wrong. Christmas should be a happy time of year, but I came to grips with a bunch of things in the hours alone tonight. One, that I don't have my girlfriend around to help me with the decorations. That led to two, man this whole girlfriend in another state is gonna be rough. Three, I haven't hung out with the very few friends I do have in a long time, or at least spoken to them recently.
On the positive notes, Jenny knew I was starting to feel down, so she kept on checking up on me and wanting to be close to me (if you consider right on me close) when she did. Good to know that my dog will never leave my side. Those creatures have a uncanny tendency to know when shit is bugging you, That and in 5 days the xmas party is on with my girlfriend and family coming into town. That should lift my spirits. I have lost some weight, and I may be close to making my first goal of 5 lbs by the party. It just sucks that I can't splurge on crap food when I'm all depressed now. I did treat myself today though, I felt like I deserved it...I bought some snow crab legs and steamed them up for lunch and then had a small bowl of ice cream later on.
I still have a nagging cough today from being sick a few days ago and its really annoying.
Having allergies at the same time definitely does NOT help the situation.
Well, I'm out of here, gots shit to do. I still need to string up the outside lights and gear up for the upcoming party...my hell week has officially begun. 5 days of cooking, prepping, stocking, cleaning, working and worrying. So, this week, if you hear from me, I'll warn you all, I'll be in a very uptight mood until about 9pm Friday night after I have my first (and largest) cocktail in me.

Stoopid People...Volume 2

Its time for another installment of the long awaited return of "Stoopid People".
First of all, let me set you up for the mood I was in today... I am getting over a small cold, so I'm all clogged up, then I ended up working this Thanksgiving, following and ass-reaming night before Thanksgiving (which paid off with me making $360 in one night). Thanksgiving night wasn't anything special. It wasn't busy, I could handle it by myself and there were no assholes or "stoopid people" about. Anyways, I get home at 3:30 AM, and finally get to sleep at ohhh...6 fucking 15 AM. I sleep a few hours, and end up sleeping through my alarm. Not good. I made it to work only 10 minutes after we opened, but I should have been there 30 minutes prior. My boss, thankfully understands, since I closed the night before.
immediately I get thrown into a small fray of morning drinkers.
Now then, this almost bares the donning of another stoopid person award, but the second person I help out...at 11:15 Am..a dude mind you...orders a frozen pina colada. Despite the gay value that this screams out for a man to order, I have to do it. Sidenote-if you are a man, any kind of man at all...there are only two times you are allowed to order a frozen pina colada (or any frozen drink for that matter). 1) you are in a beach cabana in Cancun...and 2) you are ordering it for your super-hot girlfriend at the same time as you order yourself a strong jack and coke.
This is just the beginning, for as many a layman do not know, bartenders HATE making these things. Its messy, time consuming, and the sound of a whirring blender tends to notify other people that there are frozen drinks available at the bar, thus spawning more of the same.
Anyways...the day progresses and I am plain out dragging ass. I think that the highlight of the day (the real highlight) is that my good old ASU beat out U of A in the final minute, and we are off to the Insight.com bowl.
Now that the day is set up, here comes the stoopid people. Pub Crawlers. I hate these people. They are like locusts, feeding and leaving, no regard to manners...decency, tipping, or patience.
Anyways, a troop of about 10 of then stroll in. All but one are bearable, but that one...that lonely one succeeded in single handedly pissing me off.
We are going to call him Mr. Jack Freeshot. Now then, if anyone has ever worked in the food or liquor service industry, you may agree with me that my NUMBER 1 pet peeve is when a person askes for free shit or to get hooked up. Especially when that person or persons are not tipping anything before or after promising to hook me up back.
Mr. Jack Freeshot actually tried to haggle with me for no less than 10 minutes total to try and negotiate a business deal wherein I give him free shots so that he could be ahead in points for his pub crawl winnings. My gawd! What part of " I can't give you a free shot, or no I'm not going to give you a free shot, or stop asking me for a free shot" do you not understand? Do you REALLY thing that the bartender is gonna give you a free drink because you think you are cool? Or that he would do it because the bartender is a nice and cool guy? FUCK NO!
Maybe, just maybe, if you would tip a minimum of $10, then we could talk. My job, nor any other bartender's jobs are worth losing just because of your greedy ass. So Mr Jack Freeshot, you are officially "that guy", who embarrasses himself and his friends, all the while instantly making the bartender promise to himself that he will NEVER, EVER hook you up.
Plain and simple folks, you don't ask to get "hooked up" in a bar. I'll tell you what will though...tipping an average to good amount per drink, every time, being cool, patient and showing some class and manners. I reward that all the time, and everytime, without asking.
That's my rant, and I'm stickin to it!

Honorble Mr. Miyagi

We've lost am honorable and respectable actor the other day. Mr. Pat Morita passed away on the 24th of natural causes at the age of 73.

Granted, his biggest moments were of course in the Karate Kid series, but he also played a ton of smaller parts in other films, musicals and comedy skits.

Much respect to you Mr Miyagi! May the gods have a special place in heaven for you.

road to repairs

In my attempts to get a handful to things done today, I was only able to accomplish two. One, go to home depot and get a bunch of shit including a new light timer for the walkway lights, which seem to have a mind of their own in terms of when they decide to turn on or not. Everyday its different, on at 2pm, on at 6pm, on at 5am...jeez. I thought it was just a short, but I hope that getting a new timer will solve it.

Secondly, as stated in a prior post, I needed to get my brakes done. I ended up going to Brakes Plus since it was right across the street from Home Depot, and its the place that Chris had recommended the day before. I do have to give them some credit, they have good customer service and skill, and at a price that I had anticipated in paying, if not a little bit cheaper.

The only downside to the place is that you really need to grab a snickers bar, cuz its gonna be a while. I rolled in there about 12:30 and got out at 4. Granted it was pretty busy for them, and I did manage to find shit to do...read a newspaper(the entire newspaper), play poker on my phone-which I got up to and then lost $800,000. They make take a bit to do some work, but in the longrun it is worth it and I'll go ahead and recommend them to anyone if they don't already have a better place in mind. I suppose it really wasn't that bad, $300 for new brakes and adjustments-including parts, labor, seals, adjustments, fluids...yadda yadda yadda.

I got home just in time to eat 2 plain hamburger patties and relax for 20 minutes before having to go to work on what is rumored around our bar to be THE busiest night of the year. We shall see if it is true or not seeing we've been a ghosttown for a week now. Hopefully I'll be proven wrong because I don't know if my body is fully ready for it. I'm starting to get a small cold and my current diet of little to no carbs is draining me. I'll need to go pop a Vitamin B shot, some echinachia and slam a cup of coffee.

In case I don't hear from any of you soon, have a happy and safe Thanksgiving peeps!

poopy calculations

Alright, I'm convinced that pedometers are so better than the chunks of poop you see here. For shits (no pun intended) and giggles, I decided to take my pedometer on a walk with me to get an accurate account of distance and calories burned on my walk.
I estimated the walk at about 2 miles beforehand, and thought that it would be in that general vicinity, plus or minus a 1/4 mile. Well, I took my walk, and when I got home, I checked the freggin thing, and it said I had only gone .95 miles. I was confused and immediately called bullshit on the fucker.
There was only one way to solve this. Drive the same route. So I did, and the accurate reading was that of 2 1/4 miles! Score for me! I underestimated myself a bit, showed up my piece of crap pedometer and felt more confident in going out walking around.
So for all of you guys, save your damn money, don't by one of those stupid things...I'm just glad mine was a gift so I have no problem tossing the bastard out!

Exploring AZ

*Marc & Chris, forest rd 143, w Roosevelt lake beyond*
click to enlarge...

Tuesdays lately are my only day off from work in like the current month, so, after talking with Chris last night, we decided to go out and romp around in the wilderness today. We needed to start scouting for sites and prepping ourselves for our upcoming Javelina hunt in Feb, so this was the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.
We got drawn for unit 22, containing most of the area north of Phoenix and Scottsdale up to Payson along highway 87.
So, after working last night and taking a 4 hour nap, I lurched awake at 730 am, packed up some essential gear, picked up Chris and headed for the hills. We covered over 150 miles of highways, roads, forest service roads and off road trails in the span of half a day. We did find some promising areas to set up camps, as well as did a fair amount of hard cross country hiking off the beaten path tracking game trails and water sources. We got our good workouts today, one from hiking, and second from being bopped around the cab of the car and having our bodies compensate for it as we rumbled along 25 mile long off road trails.
Speaking off off roading, my truck gave me signs that it was time to get new brakes at least today as we were out. Fast descents, hard driving and road dust was causing havoc on my brakes, which I know now are due for replacement.
A good day for me too health wise, easing off on useless carbs, a few scrambled eggs and a slice of turkey meat for breakfast, eating on some protein laden jerky for snacking, and a salad with a few spoonfuls of tuna after getting back. I did splurge a little though, quaffing a can of miller lite out in the sticks today as I enjoyed half a cigar. I think I deserved that after a long week of watching my shit.

Exercising pays

Funny what you may find when you go do something outside. I'm out walking Jenny today on a two mile stroll and turns out it was my day to be paid to be exercising. For both Jenny and I. On my little jaunt, I found 2 cents, a tennis ball (for Jenny) and oh...a dirtbike.
Yup, you heard me right, a dirtbike.
It's seen some wear and tear, but it still looks solid. It was stashed in some bushes on the side of the road near my house. So I did what I think a good honorable person would do. I took the thing home, contacted the police department notifying them of the property as well as it's national registration number slapped on the bottom. So I figure, I hopefully earned some good karma. It's probably the property of some punk street kid all hopped up on dope (or at least that's the stereotype), but if it brightens his day by having me recover his property, then I guess that makes me feel better. If not, and the police don't want to claim it, well then I guess I have a new bike. Yeah, that'll be real good to see, a big old 245 lb thug rollin down the road on a tiny bike. I'm getting flashbacks of the clowns at the circus riding the mini-bikes. Maybe its long due karma from having all my bikes jacked from me when I was a kid.
Anyways, I'm off to go eat my freggin can of tuna for lunch.

Captain Fatass part deux

Operation Lactic Recovery:
I knew it, the first few minutes after I got back in from yesterday's walk/jog, that I would be a little sore today. I was, just as predicted. At least I know that my legs did get a workout. Thankfully enough, the is no joint pain, just minor muscle aches in my quads. They will get used to it in time.
besides, I did enough walking back and forth behind the bar tonight at work to equal a good workout. Per example, with a pedometer on my hip at my old job in Tempe a few months back, I would easily walk almost 3 miles behind the bar, all in short trips back and forth. Now consider that bar was shorter than my current one, less busy and I dart around more (usually avoiding other "husky" bartenders for obstacles)...I think that I may have easily walked 3 1/2 miles.
Today was a relatively healthy day eating wise...a small bowl of oatmeal and fruit for breakfast, a tuna sandwich for lunch and a grilled chicken and lettuce tortilla wrap for dinner was sufficient for me. Toss in water all day, 40 ounces of green tea (which, as I found out, if you drink it all in one sitting, not only will you pee a lot, but also find yourself slightly overhydrated and feeling a bit strange-almost high) and half a cup of diet pop for the drive home at 330 am.
I still found myself hungry after each meal just because my stomach is used to eating more food than that in a meal. In time it will shrink down and hopefully the hunger will subside. Once again by not eating greasy foods all day, I didn't necessarily have more energy, but I just didn't feel like I was bogged down.The good news is that if I keep this pace up, I may be able to lose a little more than the goal of 5 lbs by my Christmas party. Captain Fatass be slimmin!

Marc is off the market.

So I've been chatting with someone special for a bit now, and today at work I had no less than 4 people ask me if I had a girlfriend again. Well by golly I had to say yes.
So it's official once again, that I am off the market.
Her name is Nicolle. She truly is an amazing woman, enough so that writing the qualities she has here on the site wouldn't give her justice. I think I have to give some credit to my cousin Tina for this one, for Nicolle is her best friend. We've known of eachother since high school, but never crossed paths like we are now. I was paired up with her in my cousin's wedding-you little sneak, I think Tina is just toying with the idea that she may someday get Nicolle as a family member...and recently we both got out of crappy relationships, so we have plenty of knowledge of what "not to do".
The only downside to her and I seeing eachother? Well, she lives 740 miles away, back home in the bay area. Quite a big gap to fill. But we are giving it a shot and are hopeful things will work out just peachy. Until other big news pops up, the rest is all personal!

Operation Green Purge

Hopefully today will be the first day of the demise of Captain Fatass.
Today was a good day, until I may feel it tomorrow.
I was good today, had a salad for lunch, and a salad for dinner with some grilled shrimp and a healthy handful of veggies with the salad. Nothing but water to drink today too.
One thing I need to be careful of with salads is that after I eat one, I'm hungry again in like an hour. So yea, Operation Green Purge. Load up on the greens and veggies to start purging my system and get my energy up. I do have to admit, I have no objections to salads. There are those times when a salad just isn't feeling to be the right mood I'm in, but I need to fight past that. I did notice today that I wasn't lugged down with the usual grease and fat laden burgers or sandwiches. I didn't necessarily have extra energy around, but I just didn't feel bogged down.
Here's where Captain Fatass was reminded why he's Captain Fatass though...
After dinner, I went and took Jenny on a fast walk/jog. Yup, you heard me right...I said jog.
Total distance, about 1 1/4 miles around the neighborhood. Ran for 1/2 mile and speed walked the rest. Things felt cool. Nothin slipped out, no popping, no pain, no shortness of breath.
Until, I got home...and that's when Captain Fatass' body reminded him that there were certain areas of his body that were "out of order" for the past year. I'm pretty sure that I may be a little bit sore from using muscles that I haven't really used in a while.
Comes with the territory I guess. A little soreness goes away with a little working it again.
Poor Jenny though...she didn't know what the fuck to think. Here she is all excited to take a walk and sniff stuff, and the whole time she is the one speeding up to keep pace. She was probably all bewildered at the sight of me running! "What the hell are you doing fatman! You aint supposed to move like that!"
It came to a head when I bet she wished she hadn't drank all that water before we left. A block from home, she lost her bladder control from being working so hard that she dropped a water bomb the entire way while crossing a street. Poor thing! I guess you will need to stop by a grassy greenbelt the next time we go out like that.

Captain Fatass

I'm just about being struck in the head (or the gut!) with a realization tonight. Of course it comes after I have a huge meal for dinner at work( which in the world of restaurant food, our grub should come with a defibrilator on the side). That realization is that I really need to drop some weight. Add to the fact that when I get home tonight, I check out a website that has a BMI calculator (body mass indicator)-I enter in my info, 6ft, 250 lbs. It tells me that my BMI is 33.9, and am classified as obese. Granted, it doesn't take into consideration my frame and build, but regardless of that, I know I am overweight.
So what do I need to do? Drop some. I want to, in the next year, drop 30-40 lbs. Seems easy enough right? If its anything like quitting smoking, I have a loooong road ahead of my fat ass.
So, set my goals first-
1) Drop a total of 30-40 lbs in a year.
2) Drop 5 of those lbs in 3 weeks. (Before my Christmas party...so I can go ahead and put the 5 lbs back on during the party itself)
3) Rebuild my cardio and respiratory stamina. I need to, especially since now I have allergies or something really effecting my breathing.
4) Do all this to accomplish feeling better, having more energy and having a better and confident self image.
Second-how to achieve these goals.
1) Change my diet dammit! I'm constantly surrounded and bombarded by greasy nasty fast foods and unnecessary food stuffs. Especially at work. I need to stock up heavy on the veggies and fruits. Especially the greens for fiber and iron, to get my energy up and the innards flowing smoother. I can splurge a little from time to time, but I need to center on veggies and lean meats more and not empty carbs and grains.
The drinking needs to change a little too. Ease off on the beer(which never was my favorite anyways), and stick with hard booze. Thankfully I've already fallen in love with vodka & soda waters with lemon and limes. No cals in the soda,and vodka is a hangover minimalist.
2)The frequency and patterns of my meals. I need to start eating 3-4 small meals a day instead of 2 big heavy ones. Here's what is gonna kill me too...is getting at home at 4 in the morning from working hard all night and wanting to eat a meal before bedtime. Its hard, I'm hungry when I get home.
3) Start to exercise slowly. It's been a while since my last regimen. Long brisk walks with Jenny. Light jogs around the area. Short bike rides around town.
4)Try to incorporate outdoor activities while the weather is good, and try to find a friend to do things with too. It's a lot funner that way and it feels like playing instead of working.
5) Get working gear. I need a new bike, one that is fitted right to my frame and height. I think I've outgrown my old mountain bike.
New shoes, comfy ones that won't give me blisters and that aren't too tight.
A new Ipod would be good too. It would be pretty hard to lug around my portable CD player. That's a luxury I don't need right now though.
6) Once all this stuff is established and I've dropped the 5 lbs, Join a gym again.
Join a gym, and stick to it! No sense in paying money to sit on my ass. Use the equipment well, circuit train and load up on the cardio machines.
I think that's a pretty solid enough plan to get my fat ass started. Once I get all that stuff up and running, I can get into more serious regimens. Wish me luck guys, hopefully I can give you less of me around to love!

True meaning of Chri$tma$

The holiday season is opon us, seemingly quicker than the year before. It starts sooner every year too. I remember back in my younger days (dating myself now) when the Christmas season was a set time of the year. It started the days AFTER Thanksgiving. You weren't bombarded with advertising, having Christmas sales and obscene jingles jammed in your head on the TV every living second. You planned your holiday around your family, not around what the local mall's biggest sale weekend was. Case in point- Walmart..yes, Walmart rears its ugly head on this site again. Don't get me wrong, I still love shopping at the place, but man, I think they seriously need to consider permanently changing a part of their store to an all year round xmas section. 10 years ago, Walmart had its Xmas stuff the week before Thanksgiving. Slowly but surely, they pushed it up, overtaking Veterans Day, then Halloween, and finally, the Labor Day weekend. I SHIT you not...there was the start of merchandise the last day of August in the one across the way from my house this year. There is just something wrong about that.

So, I ask you this question. What is the true meaning of Christmas? Is it the celebration of the birth of your savior who later on died for your sins? Not so much for me, even though I was force-raised Catholic. Not that I have anything against the Catholic church, but there are just too many things about that particular sect of Catholosism that do not appeal to me(that's a whole 'nother issue to be discussed).

Or is it a time of year to celebrate peace on earth, goodwill towards men, and giving thanks by spending time with the ones you love?

I think I fit more into that category. Corporate America and a lot of individual people do not. Do I get suckered into getting gifts for people because I think they would like me better for getting them something? No, I don't like to think so. I want to believe that by giving gifts, it is one way for me to say thanks for being in my life, respect for that person, and love and care for them. I know that a gift can't represent actual love and care, but if the gift has a specific meaning behind it, then its a start. For example, one of my gifts to my parents is a custom made calendar with photos of places we or I have been involving all of us. It instills memories and makes you remember good times with family. There is effort and time in gifts like that, that shows the level of care.

Just keep in mind this holiday that gifts to people and spending a google of cash doesn't make for a happy holiday season, its the time you spend with your peeps that will be the greatest gifts. I guess I was lucky to have a huge family gathering as a child, all at our Grandparents house, all 11 aunts and uncles on my dad's side and their kids (about 18 cousins). Sitting around in the living room talking, playing, singing carols, waiting for my uncle Frank to "call" Santa Claus on the phone ( the greatest scam ever devised for us kids- he called the neighbor and the neighbor called back in 10 mins saying he was Santa and was on his way). One of our uncles would dress up in what had to be the cheapest Santa suit ever, and come walking up the street clanging a huge cowbell. We'd all go nuts. "Santa" who looked a lot like my Uncle Urbano, would come in and with a heavy Portuguese accent start screaming out "Maari Chrishmash!" He'd stay for a few minutes and then had to be off on his way back to the north pole.

It's the family and friends that make the holidays special, not the new car, or the computer, or the newest and greatest toys (although getting Transformers and new Lego sets was the shit!) AS my generation got older, we would still all go out to Grandpa's house for Xmas eve (up until 5 years ago) and some of my greatest memories would be sitting back and watching the family interact. Seeing the next generation of kids going through the paces that I went through was nostalgic. Talking to my Godparents, my aunts and uncles, my parents. It was and still is one of the most comforting feelings ever, like a warm blanket on a chilly night.

I remember missing Xmas with my family one year. I was stuck out here in AZ, using the excuse that I needed to work to pay my bills. That was the last Christmas my Grandfather was alive, and the last year that Christmas Eve was spent there at his house. I still haven't forgiven myself for it. No amount of money can make it worth not going home.

So to you all racing to the malls and stores, think to yourselves, is this gift really what is going to make your holiday special? I hope the $20 sausage and cheese gift pack is worth it.

Mike Caracciolo

I'll give you guys a quick heads up on a guy you all should check out. Go to Big Mike's website, check the videos and see some cut to the chase opinions that are long overdue. Give them time to load, and keep trying if some of the video links are down.
You can approve or argue his opinions, but you have to appreciate his style of telling it like it is. No sugar coating, just plain in your face fucking shit.
You will be informed and entertained at the same time. And if you don't like the way he does his shit...you can kiss his ass.

Official

My dear friends and family,
It's officially opon all you special people now. The 8th annual holiday festivus of debauchery has been planned, the menu is ready and is starting to be prepped.
The party is officially going to be on Friday, December 2nd
starting at 7pm. Dinner is served around 730, cocktails and debauchery from 7pm til whenever.
Most of you will be getting an actual physical invitation within the next week as I see you all in person, but for the rest of you that can't get a hold of one, that stuff above is the basic info. Call me for the rest of the stuff. You know where to reach me.
Invite only please, space, food, and liquor is limited. If you didn't get a physical invite, or have this forwarded to you, then there is a reason behind my madness, try again next year.
Use a designated driver, or plan on crashing on the couches, lounge chairs, futons, hammock, air mattress or the fucking floor (sorry, the beds have all been pre-booked as in I have family coming in from out of state and the other half of my bed is filled)...you will not drive away wasted!
So to you invited ones, grab a date or a good friend, and get ready for the festivus!

Shining Spoof

Most of you peeps out there have seen the thriller classic The Shining. Hell, it scared the poop out of me the first time I saw it when I was young, it was some creepy shit. Now, follow this link and see what this guy did to make it look like a Disney Film. Simply amazing editing, and its astonishing what a happy soundtrack can do to a movie. IT may take a minute to load, its a couple meg file page. Enjoy www.kiddlive.com/SHININGFINAL.mov

Trashed

Alright, I think I may have a legitimate bone to pick. Here's the scenario. I was at the Phoenix Zoo this weekend, along with like...a few thousand other people (most were kids...oh joy). So, it was busy, and crowded. Now, this aint the Phoenix Zoo's problem...they did everything right. Its the fact that people are inexplicably fucking lazy. There are trash cans about every 20 to 60 feet, depending on where you are in the park. But did you see everyone using them? No. There were people there throwing their crap on the ground, 20 feet from a trash can. I mean, come on peeps. Are you that lazy? You're walking in that direction anyways, so what made you suddenly decide that you don't want to carry that half full bottle of water to the can? Naw...the bench in front of the African Onyx display looked like a more fitting space.
Damn peeps! Now, I'm not Mr. Anal Recycler, or the captain of a Greenpeace ship, in fact I am flawed too. I used to flick my smoke butts if I couldn't find an ashtray or can when I used to smoke, but man...I was never THAT lazy to walk 20 feet to a can.
I know some people may make the argument that there are people that get paid to clean up the park, or that maybe they were sitting there and just forgot to grab it before they got up. Whatever dude. When your empty can of sprite is off the walking path and laying next to a bush of tree, something tells me that it was put there on purpose. It wasn't like..."well gee, I couldn't make it to the bathroom, so I walked off the path, put my can of soda down, popped a squat, got up and 10 minutes later remembered I left my can there"...sure you did, right next to your big old pile of steaming bullshit.
Have some decency peeps. Sometimes it seems that we are ones on display for the animal's amusement. Humanus-Americanus-Litterbugus, a pretty dirty creature, not as amusing as Humanus-tappingonglass-holleringatthemokeys-lookinglikeanidioticus.
So folks hold onto your can for a few feet and put it in the garbage. The view will be nicer, the custodian will thank you, and it will be where it belongs.
That's my rant, and I'm sticking to it.

End of Days

Ended my 28th year of life in style on Sunday. It was a banner day on October 30th at the Thunderbird Air Classic at Glendale Airport. It was the last day of the air show, and it was full off good times.
I've never been to an airshow before, and after this one, I'll try to go to every airshow out here from here on out.
Two things that were a big factor. One, I am a huge history buff when it comes to WWII.
Secondly, I am a big supporter or our military. For you political dissidents out there...I need to make it clear...I am a supporter of the military itself, not necessarily all the policies and politics. So save the comments and personal jabs.
I went with my good friend Amber, and we showed up at 9 am for a start time of about 9:30
We got a good seat right on the flight line (basically the runway...or about 50 yrds from it), situated ourselves and then went to roaming around to explore. I got a lot of good static pics of planes parked before they got taxied out to the runways, touched a few vintage warbirds and ran around like a kid in a candy store.
The show started with the takeoff of the restored WWII B-17 bomber "Sentimental Journey"
That fucker is big, bad, loud and proud. Sent shivers down your spine seeing and feeling that thing take off in front of you. We got to take a $10 tour of it later to see inside. That was totally fucking cool. They must have built them dudes a little smaller back then. I don't think they would have liked having a 6 ft 250 lb crewmember flying around up there with them. Talk about cramped! Try shoving 3 lbs of shit into a 2 lb bag.
Next, the Arizona Skyhawk jump team parachuting down the runway in front of us. They were followed by a squad of Czech L-39 jet fighters doing flybys of the fligtline at full speed.
They flew around for about 20 minutes as the Warbirds warmed up. The Warbirds are a collection of vintage WWII and Korean fighters and bombers.
We saw WWII planes like a Japanese Zero, a Hellcat, an Avenger torpedo bomber, a Spitfire, T-6, a T-28, and a couple others. The zero and the hellcat flew a mock dogfight.
After they all touched down, the jets started to go up. We had a US super sabre and a MIG 17 go up and do a dogfight. That was kick ass to see them maneuver, loop, bank.
The halftime show gave us a break, and then the stunt planes came out. Two different stunt planes went up and gave us a thrill ride. Some of the things they were doing was mind boggling. They defied the laws of physics so many times, it was disturbing, and nearly made you crap your pants while they did it too.
The Warbirds did another quick show, and we left before the F-16's did their show. I had to leave early to drive the 40 minutes home and then go to work.
All in all, it was a kick ass freggin day. I got to see a lot of history, see a awesome show, get some cool gifts and get a wicked sunburn.
Here's the link in case you wanna check it out
www.thunderbirdballoonandairclassic.com/