Not in my master plan

So, here I am, in the middle of a 7 day workweek. Its a gorgeous frekkin day outside and I want to be stuck out in it. Went down to Costco, ordered some new tires for the gigolomobile, came home and decided in my infinite wisdom to go to the driving range.
I've gone golfing twice in my live, and the last time I went to the driving range was probably well over a year ago. Funny, how I forget whenever I go that God does not have golf in my master plan. In short, I suck balls at it...golf balls that is. My form is wrong, my stance is wrong, I aint wearing plaid shorts, and I don't drive a Mercedes. All I needed was for some hot shot to come up and give me pointers. Luckily nobody did, otherwise my driver would have to be surgically extracted from said individuals upper colon. I did get a good amount of decent shots off, but nothing that would warrant me trying to actually play a round of golf. I look at it as I got to be outside in shorts on a 70 degree January day, blowing off some steam, getting exercise whackin balls. Now I think I'm gonna go whack some more "different" balls.

Party like a rockstar

After sifting through all the fad energy drinks and brushing past the king of them all, Redbull, I've jumped on the Rockstar bandwagon. Boasting the same ingredients as most of the other ones out there, Rockstar has a sweeter taste that is a far cry from the cringing pucker factor that Redbull gives. Honestly, Redbull tastes like medicine.
Add to it that Rockstar, doubles the size for the same price, if not cheaper in some cases. You get a full 2 servings (16 oz) compared to most others 8 oz.
I'm a fan of the diet version, only 20 calories in the whole can, plus the buzz. If you want more of a wallop, the original has all the sugar you need to get through work, bounce off the walls and then when you calm down, go outside and dig yourself a pool.
Next step is mixed drinks. I think that vodka Rockstars have been my official cocktail replacement. I haven't had a bad experience yet from it. Das good chit man!

Self sustaining

Last Thursday I was off and my bro Chris and I decided to go up north a little bit to do some scouting for our upcoming Javelina hunt in Feb. We still had to find a campsite for a basecamp and needed to find appropriate hunting areas. So we went up to the north part of our hunting area around a old mining town called Gisela, along Tonto creek. Weather was chilly, and a storm was rolling in. We found some tracks and signs, but nothing too substantial to deem it be our site come Feb. However, it was an ideal area for dove and quail. Since it was still quail and rabbit season, we decided to make the best of it and try to bring some food home.
So, we humped around, up and in canyons, up, down and over rivers and creeks, and got some really good hiking over some rough but beautiful desert. At the end of the day, I had had a day of firsts. I got to explore a new area of the state, hike around some challenging terrain, and for the first time, get my own meat, process it, and eat it. I viewed it as a growth experience, seeing that now I am able to sustain myself if need be. Its a very humbling feeling to go backwards and get a taste of how people once had to provide for themselves.

The man has stuck it to me

It be tax time now and I have had Uncle Sam stick it to me finally...It aint too bad, but still, it sucks. Last year when I filed taxes, I got back $400 from federal and had to pay Arizona $180, so I still got some cash back. Now, this year, I only have 1 job, made less money than last year, and have to pay BOTH federal and state. I won't go into the ass raping that Arizona state tax fucks me over with every year ( I always have to pay), but I figured that since I made less money that I SHOULD get more back from federal. I guess not. I also guess that since I had $1500 in medical expenses last year that I could write them off too...nope...wasn't enough. I needed $4500 in medical. Fuckers. Don't get me wrong, I love the U.S., it just sucks to have to pay more. Well, I hope that my cash goes to buying a bomb or missile that gets shoved up Osama Bin Laden's ass.

Good boy

I earned some instant karma today. I had ordered some spring training tickets to a cubs game and an A's game in March and I received them in the mail yesterday. To my surprise I opened the envelope and there was like 5 extra tickets! 2 to a game that I didn't even buy either. I was like sweet! Bonus for me that the ticket company ordered extra tickets for me at no charge! After a closer look though, it turned out that the name and address on the extra tickets were not mine, but for some lady in Phoenix that had a name that was pretty damn close to mine. I knew that karma would bite me in my arse if I didn't return them, so I sealed them and stamped them off to her. Lets hope that in some strange karmatic way that it will translate into some form of good luck wherein that the cubbies will finally make it to the world series this year! Or at least befall me with some sort of good fortune.
peace out!

Your Chicken!

I was out walking Jenny this afternoon in a neighborhood about 5 blocks southwest of my house. Turns out that most of the houses in that area are former ranch homes and are on 1/4 to 1/2 acre lots. So it wasn't surprizing that 80% of the houses I saw had either horses, goats and chickens.
I like chickens. Them there are tasty creatures. They are pretty low maintenance, cheap to raise, tend to regulate the insect population in areas and produce both eggs and meat. Surprizingly, they handle the Arizona heat very well too. That said, I think I may want a few chickens at my house.
Curiously, I checked the Gilbert webpage and the city codes said that I would be able to have like 12-25 chickens on my size lot, just as long as their coops are 75 ft away from an adjacent residence. No info from my home owners association, but I don't think that owning 2-3 chickens in the backyard would raise a fuss. Only things I think I would have to worry about would be Jenny trying to eat the chickens for breakfast, which she can be trained out of. Also, owning fowl may tend to lead to mice or rats in the area. A few traps would solve that.
Noise would be a minimum, and smell wouldn't be an issue if the areas are maintained regularly.
I wonder if they make a noiseless rooster???
Something I'm gonna look into. Why? Why not...I like chicken.

Police Involvement

WTF!!!? In the past 2 days I've had more police involvement than I had in the entire last year! Monday night I worked a double, and my second half of the workday was doing my usual karoke show. I do the show, leave and head home. On the way home I realize I am running on fumes, so I decide to go the gas station one turnoff early on the highway before home. It's 2:30 am, and like usual, there is NOBODY on the road. I pull off the offramp and cruise to the stoplight to make a right turn. Now, let me first say that I fully admit guilt on this one. In Arizona, on most offramps, you are not allowed to make a right on red onto the main street. At 2:30 am, I really don't care about that law. But,my luck, I pull to the light, wait 2 seconds, look left, start to go, and see headlights starting to come in the far lane. My dumb ass turns right in front of a city cop. Well anyways, the dude was super cool and let my ass go with a warning. He must have liked the fact that I have like 10 gun stickers on my truck.

So, part 2- I go to work Weds night. It's jam packed ass busy! ASU starts up again for the spring semester in 6 days, so the kids are back to play for a week before classes start. Busy, understaffed and stressed out, I get a random call on my cell at 8:25 pm. It's my alarm company telling me that my house has been compromised through my backdoor and want to know if they should dispatch police. Well shit, I'm like, "No, let the thieves have at it....YES! Send someone over!" So, the alarm company and I are playing phone tag for 30 minutes because now other access point alarms are going off and they are calling me in response. I talk with 4..four different company operators who all have like no knowledge of what the previous one has said. They all asked me if I wanted to dispatch police, and I told them that the first operator already dispatched. By the 5th call they get in sync. I ask them if police are on scene and they tell me that they will call and find out. They call and call back saying that police are in the house now, but have no further information. Now the disturbing part. I get the call as soon as the alarm goes off. The alarm company said that police were dispatched at 8:38pm....They didn't arrive at the house until 9:05!!!! WTF!!! If there was a burglar, he could have cleaned out the house, made a sandwich and played with the dog a bit before they got there! Damn guys, ease off the fucking donuts!

Anyways, to end it, more than likely a door was not closed all the way and the wind blew it open. No forced entry, nothing missing, nothing trashed. Still though, I bet Ms Jenny Jones got freaked the fuck out with a 200 decibel alarm going off and then having police with flashlights and guns drawn scanning through the house. Poor thing.

Mesa cops = johnny on the spot for pulling me over

Gilbert cops= where da fuck are you guys! I could be dead over here!

Refurbishing

After pricing new bikes online today, I decided to hold off for a few more months and just do a quick tune up on my old junker. Turns out it still has some good life in it. Fill the tires, lube the chain and pump the brakes a few times and she was running smooth again. I went out on a 10 mile romp through central and south Gilbert and towards the end it occurred to me why I needed a new bike again. No matter what I did to tweak the fitting of the bike, my old bike is just the wrong size for me, or at least I need a taller handlebar. My hands and arms went numb after a while because I was hunched over and top heavy. No big deal, just an annoyance. Good to know that I can still get my heart rate up and hold my own on the bike. I figured I should take advantage of the current 80 degree January Arizona weather while I can before it gets cold again, then excrutiatingly hot again. Also, its a welcome addition to a already dull routine of walking the dog. Its a pleasant break from having to always pay attention to Jenny's commands and behavior and makes me remember days back home riding around with friends...along with the memories of having my ass be totally numb after the ride. Lance...sometimes I don't know how you do it.

Finding Balance

MY Taoism today was aptly entitled "Healing"

Fire burns itself out,
Water finds its own level.


No matter what one goes through, nature tends to find it's own balance. Sickness and injury are healed, drought is followed by deluge, a sapling grown from the burned forest floor. A wise person will always know that better days will come with patience. No matter what the calamity or catastrophe, small or large, be patient and the solution will reveal itself. As I am laid up with the flu, I know that my health will rebound soon. Sometimes things take longer to heal than others. Physical ailments tend to take shorter than mental and emotional ones. That is why broken hearts tend to mend over time rather than overnight. Balance is a crucial key to our lives, without it, we are stagnant. We need change, disruption to have a life. Without it we are without guidance, purpose, and are unable to seek clarity. A life in stasis is not a life, change is inevitable. Since change is inevitable, so is balance.

Down with the sickness

Ah yes, what a way to start off the new year. 5 days in and I'm laid up with the flu. By the way, I tried AIRBORNE for the first time at the first signs of symptoms to try and stop the shit, but I think the flu virus just laughed at the medicine and then kicked it in the balls. Maybe for a light cold, but this is a doozy.
So, to battle it, I am bringing in the old standard asskicking NyQuil! New flavor too! It tastes like sambuca (black licorice). So in that way it feels like I'm doing shots! Anyways, the bug is going around. From what I hear, this one is a nasty little bastard that lingers around for like 2 weeks once the initial damage has been done.
To add to the pain, I started getting sick yesterday afternoon before work, went to work, closed, got home at 4, had to open this morning, was annoying to be at work all day today, and then my night cook decides he's gonna be 1 1/2 hrs late because he is "sick" and needed to sleep.
Sorry chump, I feel no sympathy for you. Boo hoo, my pussy hurts. Take a pill and get your ass to work.
This thing has been floating around work and pretty much everywhere for a month now, so I guess it was just a matter of time before I got nailed. I guess I'm just kissing all the wrong girls- as my Father would say.
*cough* I'm out!

Words of wisdom

Arctic breath coils the mountain,

Rattling the forests' bones.

Raindrops cling to branches:

jeweled adornment flung to Earth.

Trees in winter lose their leaves. Some trees may even fall during storms, but most stand patiently and bear their fortune. They endure rain, snow, wind and cold. They bear the adornment of glycerin raindrops, shimmering icicles, or crowns of snow without care. They are not concerned when their lustrous splendor is dashed to the ground. They stand, and they wait, the power of their growth apparently dormant. But inside, a burgeoning is building imperceptively.

Theirs is a forbearance of being true to their inner natures. It is with this power that they withstand both the vicissitudes and adornments of life, for neither bad fortune nor good fortune will alter what they are. We should be the same way. We may have great fortune or bad, but we should patiently bear both. No matter what, we must always be true to our inner selves.

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Finally some wisdom I can adhere to. That was my daily Taoism I read when I woke up this morning (well, afternoon...I got up at 3). It rang truth in my ears and I laid in bed for 15 minutes thinking of it. All of the world's fortunes or fates can be thrust opon you, but you shouldn't change for anything or anyone less you stop being true to yourself. Maybe we should all get a clue.