Meet Bridget

I have a new love in my life. Her name is Bridget, she's 9ft 6in, and weighs in at a hefty 25lbs. As per tradition with pets, the name has to match up with the surname of Jones. Jenny Jones, Indiana Jones, and now Bridget Jones. She's a big girl meant for cruising along.

I'm happy to finally have my first surfboard. The only problem is that to get it wet is going to take a 5 hr drive to California and the OC. That, or I become "that guy" who brings it to the nearby lakes to just paddle around. Which, honestly isn't bad at all. I get to work on my balance, paddling skills, and have a peaceful time just floating around.

Chris got a new board too, only his is a 8'6", so mine towers over it, but his design is better. Mine was cheaper, and it's size means ease of stability and a great beginner board. Honestly, anyone over 220-250+ lbs can only ride on a board over 8'6" else it just isn't going to happen, severe sinkage occurs and zero control.

Seeing that I have Sun and Monday off, I may make a trip to the lake for some quality bonding time. I may just have to sleep with her before then, only with extra wax, for her protection.

angry beaver!

What a weird and stressful day today. I had to try and tie off a bunch of loose ends today before I head out of town tomorrow for almost a week. Apparently mother nature tried to put the kabosh on my needed yardwork today first of all. I planned on doing it today because there was a front coming in this afternoon that was supposed to maybe give some rain on Friday and drop the temps from 102 to 76 in one day. Figure I would take advantage of the cool weather while I can.

I get started and barrel through the front yard with the trimmers and start to rake and bag up the junk. That's when the thunder came, then a drop, and another, followed by about 2 million more. Now what else would you expect out of me? Shorts, tank top, in a rainstorm....using a leafblower. Sorry, had to get it done else it would be a shitty yard in the morning. As if that wasn't enough, when the rain really started coming down, I had to dig up and install one extra drip line in order to save a couple of plants. Work done, soaked, I shower (the irony...) and head out to get a haircut and then head to the gym.

I get back, shower again, and pack up for manana. After, I'm using the laptop to look up directions, weather, travel info when out of nowhere my connection crashes. WTF? I blamed it on the servers being swamped, but then I checked the actual router modem in the office to find it smoking and fried. Wonderful. Not only can I not really afford a lot of things outside of my bills, but I need to drop $80 on a new modem.

Soooo...until I get it next week, I will be living off the whims of the airwaves and random servers. I may or may not be able to connect to email or the net. I may end up going somewhere I can get a signal once I get back in town to do so until I get my replacement. Not too far away though, gas is still rising. I paid $30 for less than 8 gallons today. Pathetic...

I'm out of town suckers....later.

Stupid vices.

I have many a stupid vice. I'll buy a 2 liter of soda and shake out the bubbles before drinking it. As a 6 yr old I used to like rubbing sand in my hair. I can bite my own toenails. I hardly ever will drink warm coffee. I pee in pretty much every pool I go into(unless doing laps). My latest vice is my Monday night wrestling. Its stupid and the male equivalent of a housewife's soap opera as she sits on the couch knuckles deep in a bucket of ice cream. Only my bucket is a bucket of beer and nachos. Its a stupid guilty pleasure that beckons me back to a kid on Saturday mornings after cartoons when dad would plop down in his chair after working in the garden and watch classic 80's wrestling. The fact that he still does watch the entire week's shows on their respective days religiously is a testament to his routine. I just like that fact that even though we are in different states, we are watching the same guilty manly pleasure that can bond across state lines.

BTW, next episode is tonight on sci-fi...10 pm. I'll be unavailable at that time for you.

Give them an inch, they'll cut your leg off.

I had an issue with my credit card today that I had to go regulate on. My statement last month was due on the 28th for about $650. I sent out a check before the due date for $1300 to cover that statement and for purchases I will be making this month too. I've never missed a payment nor had fees assessed on this or any card in my history, which is a very good thing. I checked my statement today to find that they had slapped me with $50 in charges because they weren't able to process my payment until 2 days after the due date. A $40 late fee and $10 in interest charges. Fuck that. I called, explained and negotiated to basically say screw you guys. They took off the charges and fees. To make them feel better I told them that I would try to send out my bill earlier to make things easier, which is bullshit, seeing that once that postmark is on the envelope, I have technically "sent payment".

Whatever, I still gots enough air points for free trips to Hawaii from them.

Mystery at 683

I think that there is a strange conspiracy at the Demelo house. I think I know who is to blame on this one too. Actually, I think its a multi-being conspiracy that Mel Gibson would chronicle in his library of conspiracy files. You remember the chonie bandit? And as most people know, Carl is my non-living part time spiritual roommate. Together I think they have raided my sanctuary. I went to go watch a movie the other day and to my surprise, I could not find the movie. Strange. Whats stranger is I am a anal obsessive DVD organizer. I have them by theme and genre and then alphabetized in those sections. I had random movies in odd sections and definitely not in order. I even second guessed myself by thinking maybe I screwed it up when I had been drinking, but no, I don't even do that. Usually when I watch flicks boozing, I leave the DVD in the player and the case out somewhere. That struck me to be even odder.

After reorganizing the DVD cabinet, I found that I had a few more missing.

Here comes the kicker. Not to get into too much info that you need not know, but as part of a gag gift, my bro Chris got me two "adult" DVDs. I still haven't seem them (honestly), and have kept them tucked away in the cabinet to the side of the DVD player. Well, in my search for the other DVDs, I found that only one of them was missing.

I blame the chonie bandit for the porn, but Carl meant it was an inside job. I sent ghost prints out to the lab for analysis.

3 times a year

I'm good for about 3 times a year that I get a nasty virus. Of course, one of those times ALWAYS has to happen in the fun summer heat. I got up yesterday and had a small sore throat, but nothing else. About 5 hours later I felt like I had 100 lbs of sandbags sitting on me. I thought I was just tired, but out of nowhere in 90 degree heat at 3pm I got so chilled that I bundled up on the couch with a blanket. I just took it easy all day and does up with vitamins and supplements to give my immunities a boost for what I knew was going to be a long night.

I went to bed at 1130 in the midst of severe chills with winter blankets on me. After an hour of keeping the chills off, then came the fever. I threw off the blankets at 4 am to find my entire mattress soaked through with sweat. Then it was too cold, then came more sweats, then cold. I finally got comfortable enough to find balance and slept until 130pm.

It's a nice added punishment on top of my busted knee. Fyi, last night I changed the dressing on it, rewashed and disinfected it and ended up pulling a fucking pebble embedded from out of one of the cuts. That was great. I've also run out of roll gauze so now I have a Jeri-rigged bandage on it.

The crappy part is that two of my co-workers offered up work shifts for me tonight. I really could have used the money, seriously. But I know that I should get myself better. I have to work tomorrow morning anyway, so I should get rest and knock this sickness out.

Now if y'all will excuse me, I'm going to pop some more meds.

Well gee...that was stupid

Usually my drunken debauchery culminates in me humping random objects, peeing in public, overeating chicken wings and off key singing. I guess I raised the bar a bit last night. Chris and I were at the house drinking around dinnertime. I cooked a few items on the grill, and after we decided to walk up to Saltys for a few drinks. It was pretty slow and we decided to split after a little bit. We walked back down and hit Fox and Hound. We got a few more cocktails and ordered up some wings and cheese sticks. We left and started to walk home. That's where my drunken genius kicked in. In front of Kohl's there was a shopping cart in the parking lot. I hopped in and asked Chris to give me a ride across the parking lot. No problem. It was actually a fun ride. Towards the end of the lot though, Chris decided to speed up and push me into a curb in front of a fire hydrant. His idea was that the curb would stop me and I'd get out. Well, the plan worked, too good. Cart hits curb, cart stops, passenger keeps going. I spill out of the cart, bashing and lacerating myself on the way out to the rock below. I ended up with a bruised chest, bruised left forearm, scraped right elbow, nicked left knee, and a very badly mangled and sliced open right knee in 4 places. Disinfecting that one was really enjoyable.

The good thing is that where it got all cut up already had scar tissue all about it, so its not that its going to start looking ugly after it heals. The bad thing is that since it is on a moving joint, it hurts like a mother when I move it.

Today is fun day then, a bashed body and a hangover. Stupid.

Question 2 in multiparts

Say there was a woman who was your ideal type physcially.
Now, the catch is this woman is essentially YOU. She has exactly the same personality. She likes the same things, dislikes the same things, has exactly the same hobbies and interests as you. What irks her, what gives her ecstacy, the way she would react to any given situation is exacly the same as you. So basically she is the female version of you, but looks nothing like you; remember, whatever your dream girl may look like, that's what she looks like. Here are some questions to consider based on this scenario:


1. Would you want to be with this girl as a lifepartner? Why or why not?

Answer> In a nutshell, no. I know that I am not the easiest person to get along with, and even some of my own flaws annoy me, disturb me or turn me off. Why would I want to find that in someone else? It may be an interesting trip for the first few times seeing that we are one in the same, but then the annoyances would be overwhelming.

2. What would bug you about her. What would you love about her?

Answer>(yes I know where you are going with this series-in that I am making my pros and cons evident to myself) A good handful of personal habits would bother me. I know they are there. Laziness would be a problem. Not being vocal enough. Not showing enough affection. Lack of confronting issues.

I'd love the famly aspect of her. Her love of cooking. Having an analy clean house, and her responsibility with money. Her artistic talents. Her sense of humor, sexual desires, personal politics. The love of travel, the ocean, the outdoors.

3. What are some difficulties you would have in your relationship?

Answer> Being in a similar situation as I am now. If I am having enough trouble searching my own self, why would I want to be with someone that is having the same dilemma? Definately a lack of communication. Lethargy would be a problem, as well as getting comfortable in a relationship.


4. If you chose her to be your lifelong partner, what would you want for her? And on the other hand, what would you want to protect her from?

Answer> Well, if this person is like me now, I already stated that I wouldnt see her as a lifepartner, but for the sake of arguement- I'd want a happy life with a stable family. I'd want to not have her worry about whether or not we could afford something. I'd want to be able to give her the opportunity to experience the world.
As for protection- I'd keep her away from drug use obviously, as well as real risky endeavors whether it be personal, emotional, or financial unless absolutely necessary. I'd prevent her family from dissipating or causing distress.


5.Do you think she would like you? What would she love/hate about you. What would her first impression be of you?

Answer> If she is me and I am her, then I would think the logical answer would be that she would think the exact same things as I am here. I think first impressions would be of a cautious and shy person that eventualy opens up. That I am freugal most of the time but still knows how to splurge now and then. Emotionally I usually can't be read or understood due to my introvertiveness.

6.Would this relationship work out in the end?

Answer> If I were to date "myself" now, I don't think it would. Granted if things change, and I am sure that some can and will in time, then I may be able to say that I could "live with myself".
I can expect anybody that dates me to be in a constant guessing game with me. What am I thinking, doing, feeling. I am not the type of person to easily and openly share those things. I couldn't say why, I just am not. I think that while dating myself wouldn't necessarily work over the long term, my loyalties to good friends would prevail on that level. It may work out something like that, unless things are different with me later on.

Die Hard 5

Newswire-

Osaka, Japan

Hollywood insiders said today that the next sequel to the blockbuster "Die Hard" series will start filming this summer in Japan. Mr Bruce Willis however will pass the reigns of Detective John McClaine onto another younger actor. Newbie to the film scene, Ryan "Dirty" Davenport will don the trademark shoulder holster and portray the tough New York cop. Sources tell us that the story involves an overseas connection to the Japanese Yakuza mafia and will be shot in both New York and Japan. The expected release date for the next in the series is slated for May of 2009.

Yeah, the 8 buck deaf guy haircut doesn't look bad, in fact it makes you look like a badass Dirty...stick with it.

question 1

How powerful is the “miracle question?”For those of you not familiar with the miracle question, it’s one of the key techniques used by solution-focused coaches and counsellors.

There are many ways to phrase it but essentially it goes like this:Let’s say something miraculous happens when you are sleeping tonight and the problem we’ve been speaking about (new job/new partner/more happiness/etc) is gone. Now you wake up and since you’ve been asleep you don’t know that a miracle has happened but there’s a knock on your door. You open it and there is your best friend/your sister or brother/your boss and he/she comes into your place. As someone who knows you well, how would they know that something has changed?What would they see or hear or touch that would be different?

Answer-

I think that the question is a decent one, but there are so many variants to answer to. AS to the "problem" at hand, whether it is finding ones self, a new job, family, personal happiness, etc.

If finding ones self is the solution, how does one go about describing ones self after finding ones self if you don't know what finding ones self entails? I think no matter what the problem is, a generalized answer to what I would be like would make the most sense.

I'd be happy for one. I'd have a very relaxed persona, a gentler face and expressions and a seemingly ease of going about things on a daily basis, whether it be opening the door to greet a guest to going shopping to doing physical labors.

I'd feel and appear healthier, rested and relieved, happy to wake up to a new day every day no matter what I had planned that day.

My conversations wouldn't center on rants or complaints or worries.

I'd be more happy and thankful for what I have as opposed to worrying about making my ends meet with whatever work I have.

I'd be laughing more and not seemingly confused or worrisome as much. I also don't think I'd drink as much anymore. Not that I drink to escape anything, I just find it enjoyable, and if my entire life was more enjoyable, I'd be able to rely on other things besides that vice to feel the same.

I'd generally be a better person to be around and people would be more open to hanging out with me to do things, even if its just to do nothing but sit around.

As for people seeing and touching my physical environment, I was never too too big on bragging about personal property, and I live comfortable enough within my means that people wouldn't notice anything really different around my surroundings. There may be more items of family importance and items that would instill play and enjoyment, but nothing fancy.

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