Assessing the means of motivation

"The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."

- William Faulkner

If there's anything that my closest of friends would tell me is that at times, I do over think things. Its said that sometimes things come easier if you don't ponder down something to the point of it being beat down to a meaty pulp embedded in the pavement. But like the wolf said to the sheep, sorry, it's just in my nature.

I've been trying to wrestle internally with my own self for the past few years now, and sometimes it gets the better of me and sometimes I best my own thoughts. However, what always seems to come up in any argument or thought process with myself or with having conversations with others is that I have a inherit lack of motivation to do, well, anything. Beforehand, i was questioning "how" to get motivated to do things. then I figured out that it may be more beneficial to ditch that tactic and instead, try to wrap my head around "why" I can't seem to get motivated. If that can get figured out, then there may be a serendipitous route around the dilemma. Where to start with that process, i honestly don't know.

Is it due to my past? Is it due to how I was raised? I know that I am a type B personality, that is unquestionable. Then again, I do know some people with similar traits of mine that are a lot more driven to accomplish things in life.

So what is the prevention cause? I currently know people who are gung-ho about attacking the corporate daily workload, who have on a whim decided to attempt to ride a bike from San Diego to Phoenix, who are currently in the process of trying to relocate their job and life to Hawaii, who can wake up daily and workout along with a full workday, who tirelessly gets to work and deals with special needs kids.

Its compelling...the ability that they have to do what they do. It also makes me a tinge jealous. I've heard all the opposing sides arguments, "You just go and do it" , " Do what makes you happy", "You need to just put your mind to it." those words, in their initial simple wisdom, seem like the simplest of tasks to accomplish.

Why does it have to be that hard? i know in my mind that it really isn't that hard. But I also know that my mind is somehow blocking myself from excelling in that realm. Complacency is a evil habit, which i have seemed to have a acute addiction to. It feels nice to do nothing at times, and I do know that sometimes, that is a very good thing, as it gives the mind a chance to rest. Unfortunately resting too long lets things get soft.

I have ideas running around, whether it is something personal, artistic, family related, job related, home related...all of which i know that I would derive great pleasure in from doing, but the initial spark, the kick in the ass to get moving just isn't happening. Its as if i went camping, set up camp, had all the tools I needed for a successful trip, then went to go to light the campfire only to find out that i only brought up one book of matches, and they're all soaking wet.

I know that at times its frustrating on my friends, family and past relationships at times too. To see someone with so much potential and have it squandered away because I just can't get to it. it strains relationships, family or otherwise, because I'll sit there, occasionally feel bad for myself, constantly bitch about the problem and have people around me bear the constant burden of said behaviors. I know the frustration can build and wear on others, and it isn't fair. I also know that those same people will be there for me with any discussion I decide to have.

I had a dream the other night. My dream was that i was at my old high school track. when you run a mile there, its the standard 4 laps to a mile. I, in my dream, decided to run that mile. before I could start though, there was a team of people practicing something in the middle of the field. they were riding horses and ostrich and playing some weird form of polo/soccer. They all charged at me all of a sudden and i was nearly trampled by said horses and ostrich. After, I started running laps for my mile. The first lap was easy, the second one was exhausting, the third lap it felt like I had lead in my shoes and could hardly lift my feet, and in the final lap, the track started to turn to mud and eventually i was knee deep in quicksand. I don't remember finishing the mile in my dream.

I've Been a Little..."Busy"

I honestly wish I could say that I've been productively busy in the past 2 months getting things done around the house and so forth, but in reality, the past few months have been a whole big world of unwarranted disappointments. I've been relatively laid up with injuries, illness, mental breakdowns and general lethargy since about August. thankfully I had a pleasant break in September with a well needed and cherished reunion back home with my best friends and brethren Ryan and Doug. The trip left us with a returned taste for the old carefree days of our youth where we only really had to worry about finishing our homework and waking up in time to commit fun events of bonding and mayhem.

Right about then, i was pretty much finished with my hand therapy. about a week after returning from our trip, I apparently decided that one chronic body injury wasn't well enough, and decided to make my way clockwise around my limbs for pain and punishment. On a Weds., 09/09/09, I had a horrible work accident that involved a 4 gallon pot of 375 degree fryer oil that left me incapacitated,crippled, and now permanently scarred. It took a week to be able to stand and hobble, another week to to basic tasks, and another two weeks to yesterday; to be able to wear shoes and socks again and do normal everyday tasks. I celebrated yesterday with a new found freedom by doing overdue 2 month yardwork, put aside home chores, shopping, cleaning and errands which took me all day due to the mass of tasks previously made unable. I still have more to do, especially since i found out yesterday when my parents will arrive to make their yearly visit to the desert next week. Yes, I know, don't overdue it. trust me,I'm not, I'm just finally happy that I'm fully functional. Granted, I haven't tried running or anything really strenuous yet, but that will come in time and need.

Its been a godsend to be able to get back into work and make money to pay bills, seeing that as of a week and a half ago, by checking account was sitting at a desolate $28 from not being able to work. Things are getting healthy again, as well as I, and there will not be any worry of being able to pay things off from here on out.

I just feel so pleased to be productive again. Before all this had happened, I had made a not-so-unreasonable to do list for things around the house and things personal, and it was frustrating as all hell to just sit on the couch or in bed staring at things I needed to do but couldn't. Now, especially with the long anticipated break in the weather, the cooler 80 degree days give added vigor in deeds. Not to mention the return of Sunday football.

I'm forever in debt to friends and co-workers and family that helped me out in all this down and out bullcrap. They've secured deeper places in my heart for it. I hope that I wouldn't have to call on you again for anything this serious or worse again, but I know that you all will be there, as I will on you.

I have a lot more to discuss, but those are to come yet soon.

40 Things i have to do before I leave this place.

3. 
   

1. Find that person and spend the rest of my time and travels with her.


2. Father a child


3. Be closer to my family


4. Ride my surfboard


5. Make my own wine


6. Remodel a home


7. Do a triathlon


8. Climb a mountain


9. Travel this country


10. Travel the world


11. Write a book


12. Attend an Olympics


13. See the Cardinals live in a superbowl win


14. Go on a cruise


15. Visit Yellowstone


16. Visit Yosemite


17. Visit the Alaskan wilderness


18. Donate blood


19. Ride 100 miles on a bike in one day


20. Hike the Grand Canyon


21. Have a recipe noticed and published


22. Run a successful business


23. Own beachfront property


24. Deep sea fish again


25. Paint a family portrait


26. Own and fix a classic car


27. Find some sort of treasure


28. Read all the classic literature books


29. Throw out a first pitch at any baseball game
30. Properly see where my father is from
31. Visit back where my mother is from
32. Hike the John Muir Trail (or a good part of it)
33. Drive the entire west coast Highway 1
34. ?
35. ?
36. ?
37. ?
38. ?
39. ?
40. ?

A book of questions #1

Last week while at a bookstore, I picked up a small paperback book called The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock PHD. its not a trivia book, nor does it have answers to any of the questions in it. Obviously, you provide the answers yourself, and each answer is uniquely your own.

Today's question is...

Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? would you be willing to spend the night alone in a remote house that is reported to be haunted?

Yes, and No are my answers.

i do believe in spirits, one obviously the soul of a person, whether it be good or bad. And two, i believe that enough bad mojo can manifest itself in an area that it becomes a bad place. There are far too many bad people in the world, present and dead, that have made this place a non paradise at times. Thankfully, for the most part, I think that people are inherently good at heart and outnumber the bad. Still though, evil spirits do manifest themselves at times and create very, very bad people or events. Hitler's Holocaust, Stalin and Saddam's mass murders, corrupt kings and queens, presidents, tyrants, generals, leaders and common men all have done horrendous and inconceivable evil acts against humanity without any rational explanation besides the fact that they are just plain evil.

As most of my friends and family know, for a while there, we believed that I had a spirit living in my current house that, while it wasn't doing anything necessarily bad, it just hung around and was a nuisance..kind of like a annoying 4Th grade bully that kept untying your shoes or stealing your juice box. it took a team of me blessing the house with holy water, and for Chris to come in and spiritually "regulate" on said spiritual bully. He hasn't bothered anyone nor really been seen since.

As for staying in a place that is reported to be a haunted place with evil spirits, um, no thanks. Not because I wouldn't be scared, of course I would, its that I'd be more afraid of those spirits potentially doing harm, either mentally or even physically to myself. Maybe if i was a priest or something or had a cleaner karma i could withstand such a potential spirited onslaught, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't last currently.

This past week

I'm sorry, but I haven't been able to get around to updating recent events lately. This past week has seen a variety of doctors visits and life alterations.

Firstly, I went and got my temporary crown put on last week, and the permanent mold got sent to the lab to be formed, so in two weeks i will have my final crown installed along with a couple of fillings done, then I am happy to say that (outside of regular cleanings) i am done with my dentist. I can elect to get my bridge done at a time of my convenience in the future.

As for the results from my new doctor, I'm taking a personal over ride on that one. The blood test results came back showing everything was fine and normal with the exception of my cholesterol and triglycerides, upon which, she wanted me to get on a cholesterol med prescription. Here's my deal...I'm 32, and even though I'm a little overweight, there should be no reason that I have high cholesterol...in fact, I've never had high cholesterol. I don't think I had a long enough fasting period before the blood was drawn, which is recommended that you have between 10-24 hrs of not eating before blood was drawn. i had eaten a large meal 8 hours prior to the visit.

Also, in choosing to self medicate, all I need to do is restructure my diet and exercise more, and drink less also ( which directly affects my triglycerides). So, I'm happy to say that i haven't had any fried foods in 2 weeks, been loading up on a lot of veggies & low carb foods & toned down my drinking habits too. I also have been getting some form of exercise daily, whether it be on my elliptical, playing Carolyn's Wii games, housework or riding on my new fitness bike I bought a few days ago in my living room.

I'm happy to say that I've already lost a few noticeable pounds, and i hope to continue losing for the next 6 weeks when they want another blood test to check everything again.

I really don't want to start taking pills ( if my test results really were true) because 99% of the time, those pills have side effects that require other pills, and more pills after...etc...etc...drug companies are con artists anyways....just ask my parents.

MY tendinitis in my left arm is getting much better, so hopefully by my Aug. 11th exam it will be all but gone. then its just a matter of keeping that arm strong and flexible....or get another damn job.

Oh, the joys of pet ownership by the way...I love my box of rocks, but he's sick this week with constant vomiting and mud butt. Both of the explosive kind. i haven't been able to feed him in a day because he can't keep food down. He woke me up 3 times this morning before work with dry heaves. If this continues into tomorrow, I'm going to have to drop a lot of cash on a vet visit. thank God I have a steam cleaner.
It's been really, really hot this week, almost 120 on Sunday. My garden is nice and trimmed up and maintained, but the other day i found out I had a irrigation pipe break next to my garage...conveniently underneath the concrete slab. So, before getting my crown done, i had to sledgehammer concrete in 114 degree heat to fix the pipe (that was sooo much fun!) Well, the pipe is fixed and I poured new concrete on top to patch it all up.

Outside of that, work is hot,slow in the daytime and full of annoying drunks at night. I'm so happy that I'm a responsible and courteous drunk when I do become one, everyone else are jackasses.

On a positive spin, i got to hang out with Doug on Sunday, which was pretty damn fun. He says too, that Ryan is still planning on coming out to the states in September and that he's tried to write me, but I haven't received anything from him. I don't think that it went to my spam folder, so i don't know, i will write him instead.

Thursday

Yesterday was a strange day, by my standards at least. I woke up refreshed, and set forth to do a few hours worth of yardwork in the front, tuned up the bushes & trees and mowed the lawn. It was hot, damn hot. this whole week is slated to be 110 or higher. Never the less, I was productive. I didn't get to tune up the garden though, because I had to head out to the dentist for my final installment of doctors visits this week. This visit was for an additional checkup to see how my mouth is recovering from the deep cleaning last time, and to get a quick cleaning.
I'm proud to say that for the first time since I can remember, my doctor said I was making very good progress and recovery of lost gum tissue and that things were very well taken care of. I have a appointment next Thursday to get my crown installed, and then one more appointment to get 2 fillings done, and then, I'm happy to say...i am done with the dentist outside of regular cleanings and getting my optional bridge done. yay!
After i was done with the appointment i headed up north to Carolyn's place in N. Phoenix (nice road trip). We decided to go out and see a movie and grab some dinner.
We saw Up. it was pretty entertaining, had plenty of funny moments and a few tear jerking scenes. All in all, another good pixar film that caters to all. We grabbed a bite at Pei Wei for Chinese food after. I ate the Mandarin Kung Pao chicken with rice...it was ok, but in the end a little lackluster for me.
We headed back to her place for a quick swim in the pool to relax before I had to head home to let the dogs out. I came back and watched a little TV before crashing out.
i do have to say that its been a while since I've had a day off that not only was productive and social, but also didn't have any involvement of partying. It was nice and fulfilling.

random testing

In the Meyers-Briggs psych personality test I am a INTJ, and in the
Keirsey Temperament Sorter
the results indicates that your personality type is that of the
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply -- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.
Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.
Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.
Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted.
Guardians at WorkAs a Guardian, you enjoy working as a valued member of a team, whether you are leading it or following a credible leader. You like to work with people who carry their weight. You appreciate having clear-cut responsibilities and being recognized for your dedication and achievements. Your natural traits are those that employers have traditionally valued - and that successful companies still respect. You are responsible and loyal to an organization once you've signed on.
You are most comfortable when your life is structured. As a result you usually prefer a workplace that lets you create a routine you can settle into. Because you are dependable and exacting, your colleagues and customers rely on your work. Your ideal job offers you a clear chain of command, and lets you progress through a hierarchy based on your meeting expectations.

Feeling the Pressure

Amid all the bereavement of the funeral and services, I was able to see a light during the dark times, just too bad that the light wasn't really shining in my direction in my opinion.
The majority of my cousins are now married and have, or have tried to have children. I have two cousins engaged, one to marry next year. Another just celebrated their wedding anniversary. My parents had their 45th year anniversary this year. Aunts and Uncles are celebrating births of grandchildren. The irony is that here I still sit, unwed. From the get go, my friends and family thought I'd be one of the first to settle down, now I'm slated to fall in line with the last.
I've been hearing lectures and quotable lines from Mom over the years regarding when I'm going to settle down and find a good woman, but for the first time I had to hear it from Dad this past weekend. Granted i told them that I started dating someone new, but still Dad made it a point to say that one needs someone to grow old with and spend the rest of their lives together. I got the hint about him and mom from that seeing that they've been through a lot together, but especially a lot of bad things over the past decade. I know he makes sense, but everytime I ask him or her how did you know it was time with the right person, the response was the same, that they just knew.
I was mulling that over in the airport on Friday afternoon while I waited for my flight. I looked over to my left and saw an attractive woman in her late thirties with a good sized rock on her finger. She looked busy juggling her phone and a laptop, but she looked happy. I almost interrupted her and asked her how she knew it time to get married, but I rationalized that it would be an awkward thing to ask a busy stranger. Ironically, as i thought that, I got a message from my ex that she had started seeing someone new.
I suppose some people just are destined to be alone, not saying that i am one of them. I do like the person I am seeing now and will see where it takes us, but for example, my friend Chris has been single for years, with the occasional tryst here and there. He's almost 50, and he himself has stated that he's pretty much given up on the chances of being with someone and starting a family.
I would honestly feel that the day I start feeling that way would be one of the worst days of my life.
Is there a difference between just knowing when someone is right for you and continually working on a relationship to make it work? I don't think that one should have to continually do that. Yes, challenge one another and keep things interesting, with arguments to a minimum, but I still think that two should just get along very well.
Then again, is there something deeper than that? Is there a fate to follow either by life itself or another higher power wherein you are deemed worthy enough to receive something special as a family? That theory doesn't work well in my mind as much either as i know people who live good lives and are not rewarded with it, and others who live downright shitty and still have children and family that are theirs to enjoy and live with.
Its that proverbial watched pot of water that should be boiling. I suppose I'll know when I know.

Whats going on pt.2

(Uncle Americo, Dad and Edward at the wake)

Family issues. Every single family, at least all I know, has a "problem child". Ours is no exception. Uncle Ty is a piece of work (as well as a piece of something else). As far back as I can remember, he's always been doing something wrong, illegal, immoral or generally disrespectful towards the family or others. I think he has reached his pinnacle this past week, and hopefully at the same time, reached his end.

Our grandmother finally died last week. A matriarch of 13 children, 29 grandchildren, and 18 great grandchildren. She died at 92, in a placed home, with as far as I know, nobody around her.

A week before she had been residing at my uncle's home half the day and at a center the other half. Rumors were flying about the state taking charge of her and putting her in the new home because of neglect on my Uncle's part, or because the money ran out, or because he was just sick of tending to ( very poorly mind you) her needs. I don't know what was true, if any.

A short backstory. Since grandpa died seven years ago, after he tried to botch that funeral and family arrangements ( which involved theft, and a lot of brainwashing), My uncle decided against the family wishes to have grandmother shuffle around each child's home every month for care or to place her in a senior home and took the brunt of the responsibility on his shoulders. Henceforth, to see her, we had to either go to the center to visit during operating visiting hours, or have him "schedule" a convenient time to let us see her. Holidays were no better, and sometimes we were not allowed to have her for Christmas or other days. I'm not trying to say that he's a control freak...I AM saying he is.

So now the funeral is coming. He decides (somehow as the youngest of the 13) that he will plan a ceremony not as grandma wanted it, but as he did. No music, no speeches, nothing special, just get her into the ground. Well the family wasn't going to have any of it. On the night before, Dad arranges for his church's organist to play, for him to sing, for some of the kids to speak and to have a more honorable ceremony. Our uncle protests, under the guise of "hiring" police to barricade the doors. We knew that was a crock of shit. Then he picks the pall bearers. Not the expected 6 older brothers, but instead, himself, his injured wife, 2 sisters, one 2nd cousin and one brother (he ran out of other options). Myself and others were asked to watch over the others in case a fight broke out. I never thought, in a million years that I would have to play security at a funeral, let alone my own family's.

Obviously the brothers and family protest, and it takes the funeral director and the priest himself to shut him up and correct the situation. Music was played, and Dad was able to fulfill a promise to his mother that he sing at her service. Afterwards, the priest calls for family to come and speak. Myself and my cousins rise to go, but he cuts everyone off, rushes to the podium and say there was to be no speeches, proceeded by himself giving a speech (and a few very poorly placed crocodile tears).

The rest of the day went off without a hitch and grandmother was buried. None of his family readily acknowledged his presence, nor did he include himself in anything family related. He did not attend the wake with the entire family. He was the last to show up at any of the services and the first to leave. His legacy will be that he was buried with his mother that day and we shall hopefully not have to deal with him ever again.

In my opinion, its a very sad thing and very much a punishment greater than any kind of imprisonment, to have your family abandon you for your behaviors. In the end, the general consensus of the family is that we may forgive him of his actions, but we will never associate with him again. The one's that suffer the most are his children, who besides not being allowed to attend the funeral of the grandmother they lived with for many years, to have to grow up not knowing their entire family. That will be his downfall, when his children find about his past and then shun and blame him for not attesting to his faults and hiding them from their family.

I pity him, and ask for mercy on his children.

Whats going on pt.1

I'm going to say so far that the past 10 days have been a pain, physically,mentally and emotionally. There has been a decent amount of situations going on that would tax even the most stable of people. thankfully, i think that I am able to deal with issues a bit stronger than others at times, so that may help out. First thing first, my health concerns. I'm slated to go through a plethora of doctors this week, three to be precise. On Monday I went to the hand therapist and got a custom brace made for my DeQuirvain's syndrome. I have to wear it as much as possible for 6 weeks, take anti-inflamatory drugs for 2 weeks and work on therapy to make my wrist stronger sometime during that whole stint.

Second, I have my 4th instalment of dental work on friday afternoon before work. It shouldn't be anything major this time, just a general cleaning and assessment of how well my mouth is recovering from the major cleaning from the last time.

Thirdly, I went to a new doctor today to see about finding a new general practitioner. So far she is pretty nice ( a whole lot more personable than my old doc) and knowledgeable. What she did today was take basic info down, vitals and family history. Her major concern was however, a possible diagnosis of depression. I asked her about my lethargy, boredom, use of alcohol, desire to constantly sleep and having bad sleep while sleeping. Well the good news is that I didn't fill out enough red flags during my depression screening test to have her majorly concerned, but it did rise her interests enough to do a panel of bloodwork on me. The work will measure my basic vitals and levels, but also hormone saturation and my testosterone levels. If my results come out normal for everything, then she will more than likely have me run a test perscription of Wellbutrin, an antidepressant, to see if there is any effect to my mindset.

She also said that in addition to my feelings of malaise at times, that my tightness in my chest and feelings of inadequate air intake may be stress and anxiety induced, since the last time I went through pulmonary testing they found absolutely nothing wrong.

I'll find out more on the physical health part of things in 8 days when the results are in and I can schedule an appointment to discuss options with her.

Breakdown

Yes, i now have a gimp left hand (get your obscene jokes out of the way now). I went to a specialist last week, and then to a hand therapist today to get a custom splint made to start my treatment for my arm disorder. I have 4-6 weeks of wearing a splint as much as possible to get he inflammation of the wrist tendons down, take a bunch of antiinflamatory drugs and work on therapy to build strength up in my left wrist. Fun stuff I tell you. At least im getting it done and caught it early enough that it should be no problem. Combine this with going to the dentist later this week and meeting a new general practice doctor tomorrow, im up to my ass in doctors right now. Heres wikipedia's definition of my syndrome.



DeQuervain tenosynovitis

de Quervain syndrome (also known as washerwoman's sprain, Radial styloid tenosynovitis, de Quervain disease, de Quervain's tenosynovitis, de Quervain's stenosing tenosynovitis or mother's wrist), is an inflammation or a tendinosis of the sheath or tunnel that surrounds two tendons that control movement of the thumb


Eponym
It is named after the Swiss surgeon Fritz de Quervain who first identified it in 1895.[2] It should not be confused with "de Quervain's thyroiditis", another condition named for the same person.

Pathology

The mucous sheaths of the tendons on the back of the wrist.
The two tendons concerned are the tendons of the extensor pollicis brevis and abductor pollicis longus muscles. These two muscles, which run side by side, have almost the same function: the movement of the thumb away from the hand in the plane of the hand--so called radial abduction (as opposed to movement of the thumb away from the hand, out of the plane of the hand (palmar abduction)). The tendons run, as do all of the tendons passing the wrist, in synovial sheaths, which contain them and allow them to exercise their function whatever the position of the wrist. While de Quervain syndrome is commonly believed to be an inflammatory condition or tendosynovitis, evaluation of histological specimens shows no inflammatory changes--rather a thickening and myxoid degeneration consistent with a chronic degenerative process are seen. [3] The pathology is identical in de Quervain seen in new mothers. [4]
de Quervain syndrome is more common in women. A speculative rationale for this is that women have a greater styloid process angle of the radius, but scientific support for this theory is lacking.

[edit] Cause
The cause of de Quervain's disease is not known. In medical terms, it remains idiopathic.
Some claim that this diagnosis should be included among overuse injuries and that repetitive movements of the thumb are a contributing factor. More specifically, repetitive eccentric lowering of the wrist into ulnar deviation especially with a load in the hand such as a child or even a stack of dishes.
de Quervain's syndrome was also referred to as mother's wrist due to the fact that it can be caused by over-extending the wrist into the awkward positions that parents use to hold and handle infants. It was also nicknamed washerwoman's sprain as it can be caused by wringing motions, such as wringing out a washrag or similarly, removing the lid from a jar.
Recently cases have surfaced linked to the use of video game controlers with a so called "Analog-stick".

[edit] Symptoms

This article may contain original research or unverified claims. Please improve the article by adding references. See the talk page for details. (October 2008)
Symptoms are pain, tenderness, and swelling over the thumb side of the wrist, and difficulty gripping.
Finkelstein's test is used to diagnose de Quervain syndrome in people who have wrist pain. To perform the test, the thumb is placed in the closed fist and the hand is tilted towards the little finger - ulna deviation (as in the picture) in order to test for pain at the wrist below the thumb. Pain can occur in the normal individual, but if severe, DeQuervain's syndrome is likely. Pain will be located on the thumb side of the forearm about an in inch below the wrist.
Differential diagnosis includes ruling out:
Osteoarthritis of the first carpo-metacarpal joint
Intersection syndrome - pain will be more towards the middle of the back of the forearm and about 2-3 inches below the wrist
Wartenberg's syndrome

[edit] Treatment
The management of De Quervain’s disease is determined more by convention than scientific data. From the original description of the illness in 1895 until the first description of corticosteroid injection by Christie in 1955[7], it appears that the only treatment offered was surgery.[8] [9][10] Since approximately 1972 the prevailing opinion has been that of McKenzie (1972) who suggested that corticosteroid injection was the first line of treatment and surgery should be reserved for unsuccessful injections.[11] However, data regarding the efficacy of corticosteroid injection is sparse and uncontrolled (Oxford Level of Evidence 4) and it is not clear that there is a benefit over the natural history of the illness. A structured review published in 2003 identified only 35 publications that addressed De Quervain’s on Medline, only 7 of which presented data regarding corticosteroid injection, and none of which were controlled studies.[12]
Retrospective studies all report success rates for corticosteroid injection greater than 70%, but the one prospective cohort study noted a success rate of only 58% and many of those patients took 12 to 18 months until symptom resolution.[13] While the authors of that study ascribed the failure of corticosteroid injection to anatomical variations, it has not been clearly established that corticosteroid injection is better than placebo or that a symptom course of 12 to 18 months is any better than the natural course of the illness.
Another commonly used criterion for failure of non-operative treatment is election of operative treatment, but the decision to operate is complex and biased by the beliefs and emotions of the surgeon and the patient. Use of an elective event such as surgery to define success makes data regarding nonoperative treatment difficult to interpret. For instance, in one of the two investigations in which a substantial number of patients were treated without injection (splints and anti-inflammatory medication alone were used), a remarkable 45 of 93 (48%) of patients in all non-operative treatment groups had surgery. [14] This may simply reflect frustration on the part of both the patient and the surgeon with the prolonged symptom course associated with the disease. It may appear to both patient and surgeon that, after many months of symptoms, the illness will never resolve. The data of Lane and colleagues [15] indicating that non-operative treatment is successful only in mild cases is similarly marred by the lack of patients randomly assigned to alternative treatments and the use in many patients of a decision for surgery as a failure criterion.
Most tendinoses are self-limiting and the same is likely to be true of de Quervain's although further study is needed.
Palliative treatments include a splint that immobilized the wrist and the thumb to the interphalangeal joint and anti-inflammatory medication or acetaminophen.
Surgery (in which the sheath of the first dorsal compartment is opened longitudinally) is documented to provide relief in most patients.[16] The most important risk is to the radial sensory nerve.

Finally spoken

In reasons that I will describe later, people were prevented from talking at the funeral ceremony by my bastard uncle. None of the grandchildren nor the rest of the family was able to give final talks.
So I am now only able to make public in this format what should have been said at a private ceremony to family.


The Latin phrase "Carpe Diem", or seize the day originated in a series of poems by the Roman Poet Horace in the year 65 B.C., in which he writes,
"Scale your long hopes to a short period,
While we speak, time is envious
and is running away from us.
Seize the Day."

We should not sit and mourn here too long, but instead, celebrate life. in honor of vavo's (grandma) life, and life in it's entirety, please allow me to read a poem written for today.

"Seize Your Day"

Seize your day,
For Your future is not set.
You have God's greatest gift,
Of life and free will.

Do not let your will get dull,
For dust may be your fate,
but not that of your soul.

A well planned man may live for many a year,
But it will be the one who's heart beats fastest,
that Earns his envy.

it does not take much,
A smile, a laugh, or your child's touch,
To make even the poorest of God's men,
feel a brush of the divine.

Yet we all seem to race,
Against a foe we cannot win.
We schedule and we pace,
Against a clock that has no mercy or grace.

So I say unto you,
Seize your day.
Do NOT go weary into your slumber.
DO today what tomorrow may go asunder.

Love stronger and laugh louder,
embrace tighter and whisper softer,
Live fuller, but be gracious and humble,
For when you stand before Him,
In judgement your may say,
Thank you...For I seized my day.

Playing Catchup

I haven't updated the site in a while, so let me inform y'all on whats been going on with myself over the past few weeks. Sorry, I've been super lazy or just haven't felt like writing about anything.

I've still been in touch with my realtor. he's started to see the crush of people like me who are now too, seeing that properties are rock bottom cheap and are trying to snap places up too. At least I shouldn't have to worry about applying for a loan (which is where most buyers are failing now), as a cash sale trumps all and lets for more negotiating. He keeps sending me listings however and we have a solid scope on what price gets you what its worth. Now all we have to do is find a appropriate property and we WILL make an offer on it.

Work has seen the pinnacle of the spring season and is now easing gently into the summer downtime. Less students, slower days, average nights now. The money is still good, and the bills are paid just fine with extra to spare, save and splurge from time to time.

Speaking of summer, yes, its here. 100 degree days and permanent air conditioning. Plants in the garden have run their cycles and died, but at least my citrus and grape plants are going crazy right now. I was able to harvest some fava beans and have some left over for seed next season. I'll have to plant them in the winter as they are not tolerable of heat above 90 degrees.

I have a new addition to the household. I adopted another pup named Trooper. I was coming home after a mis-scheduled work shift where it turns out i didn't have to work, and I had a feeling that i needed to stop by the pound.

So, meet Trooper. AKA gummy-bear or Box of Rocks II. He has no grace, a little slow and is missing all but 4 teeth (don't ask...he was just born that way). What he lacks, he makes up for with character, playfulness, love and he gets along with everyone and everything. its hard to come home after a bad day and not smile when you see him sitting with his tongue hanging out (no teeth= no way to hold tongue in). He, Jenny and I are adapting well to eachother.

I started to re-start the dental treatments. Three facts...1) my dentist I had started this thing with was and is a piece of crooked rotten shit. 2) dealing with, shopping for and using insurances sucks. 3) Finally finding an honest, down to earth, gentle and great dentist isn't great...its a blessing, like winning the lottery. I finally found one. After a quick assessment and checkup, he said that I only needed 3 of the 11 fillings the other dentist said, offered crown work at $1600 less, takes payment plans if need be, and is just an awesome dude in general. I'm actually EAGER to go back next Thurs for the start of treatments.

I've started getting back on the horse and started dating again. It's been pretty good. Who, how and where is my personal business and that's all I'm going to post about that.

I'll be taking some time off and getting out of town soon, which is needed. I have next weekend off, so a 3 day trip is in order, just not nailed down as to where yet. After that, I'll be heading home for 4 days to visit my family for father's day. I know Dad would love to have me visit, Mom too, especially since he hasn't been feeling well and they couldn't get out to AZ this spring as they usually love to do.

I still have a Chicago trip tentatively scheduled for September with Bret to check out the city, see a few Cubs games, maybe a Monday nite Bears game, and generally have a good time partying and having a great trip to the windy city. It will be nice to take a break from work and to escape the desert for a few days.

I'm just finding out that I'll be having friends visiting AZ this summer, and I'm stoked for it! First, in a few weeks, my friend Nicolle will be coming to PHX to visit family of hers and we should be able to hang for a few days. She may be able to stay here at the house, but if not a hotel may be in order for her to be close to her fam. Nothing is nailed down yet. It will be good to catchup with her, reminisce about the old school days and maybe get her in touch again with my cousin, her former best friend.

Then...brace yourselves....Dirty is coming in August. Hide your kids and stock up on bleach and purell sanitizer, Dirty Ryan is slated to visit the states, hopefully AZ included, in August. He has free shelter available here and I'm sure that Doug and I will spoil him and his wife while they are here. it will be a joyous time when the trizan gets re-united for a few days! I'm thoroughly stoked.

I'm debating getting a weight bench/station set to compliment my elliptical machine (which has been awesome!), or to save up more and get a 220v switch installed out on the patio (along with finding a solid dentist, a A/C guy and a great mechanic, I've stumbled upon a electrician...all i need is a good plumber, carpenter and butcher and I'm set!) and getting a spa.

That is all for now....as you were.

We kick ass

Only a US soldier can jump out of the sack and man a SAW (squad automatic weapon) and engage the taliban in Afghanistan while wearing pink boxers with little hearts on them and flip flops for shoes...kick ass.

Holy Cool Balls Batman!

Oh man, the bain of living in a desert is that once in a while your A/C unit takes a shit. That and whatever can go wrong, will. Last night I go to the bathroom, lift up the seat and snap...the plastic bolt snaps. Ok, new toilet seat is no biggie. I do it manana. I chill out, head to bed. i notice that even though the air blower for that side of the house is on, its hot as hell in there at 11pm. Strange. So i go to adjust the A/C temp and see that its 80+ degrees in the bedroom and that the A/C unit is not turning on. Man...and Thursday is supposed to be a hot one. I get up after a sweaty, almost sleepless night and fiddle with the controls again to no avail. All I can say is thank jeezy that I have a friend that works for a A/C company.

I call Greg up and find out he's on his way home from work, so he is still in his grubbys and has his van. While I wait for him to come by in a hour, I work on the overgrown jungle that is my garden. The grape vines are producing a lot of grapes and have officially overtaken one complete side of the garden and the entire fenceline. I had to even cut back 4 foot sections of new shoots that were starting to overtake the 9 ft tall citrus trees. At least I'll have fruit, and better yet, maybe wine!

Greg cruises over, dismantles the unit and immediately finds the problem. He heads to the parts store, comes back and replaces not only the blown out ones, but other components too that should be replaced along with it. The only thing I had to pay for was $24 in parts. Sweet. I gave my thanks and let him get home and shower. Afterwards, as murphy's law would go, I got the hose out to spray off all the condenser coils that were caked with dust (that's where all my cash is going) and wouldn't you know it, water gets turned on and POW! Hose bursts.

At least I'm headed to the hardware store anyways. I head out, get a new hose, toilet seat and some batteries...(and a weird look from the checker...I told him it was a bad day in the bathroom..ha!) Came back, hosed off the coils and immediately noticed a coool difference....ahhh air!!!

Fixed the crapper, showered, finished laundry and am finally able to relax. You know what that calls for? A nice relaxing night and a good steak. Maybe a beer too. Either way, one of them is calling me.

Affirmation goals

I've thought about doing a daily chore in the past few weeks, and I am really thinking of enforcing it. By all means, there is absolutely no negative repercussions to doing it, in fact the only side effects should be making myself and possibly those around me (depending on the chore) better people.

The daily chore could be seemingly asinine and totally worthless or it could be almost insurmountable and monumental. What is it? I can't say as this randomly picked chore or action will change on a daily, if not at a moment's notice. Its the premise of the actual deed that is the true test.

That premise, that I have set for myself is this- Every day, rain or shine, sick, healthy, hungover, pissed off busy or lazy, i have to do one thing, one chore, one deed. Just one. But that deed needs to be done in the absolutely the best way I can at that time. Whether it be to make a great breakfast, a great workout, to write a great story, pour a perfect drink, have a great conversation, have a super nap, pick a perfect pepper, whatever. It has to be done to the best of my ability. That way i can avoid saying I didn't have a unproductive day, or to say one good thing happened on a bad day. It may seem a little dumb at first, but the point is driven home after you think about it for a bit.

Food for thought (literally), so far today, to the best of my ability, I cleaned out and organized my fridge. Then again, the day is young.

Lessons I learned from Ex's

Ah the lessons that one learns over the years of joys, toils, heartaches, dramas, tender moments and the oddball Rx of horsepills and drunken interludes. It all adds up to experience in the endgame. As it usually ends up being 99.9 % of the time, you never know why you were in a relationship until its over. When it finally does end, chances are pretty good too that you won't really figure it out right away either of the purpose of your time in it. It may come to you 2 days, 2 weeks or 16 years later. Don't worry, it will come by and smack you in the face.

I want to be the optimist in adding up the cumulative lessons learned by my past girlfriends and most of them are positive learning experiences. I can only count 4 real solid girlfriends in my 20 years of liking the female gender.

Amber(2 yrs) was my first girlfriend. I was 21 and in my junior year of college. She was a freshman. She was young, pretty and energetic. Unfortunately at the time she was very...very immature. So was I though, but I tried to play it off as if I wasn't. The girl liked to cut loose and not take life too serious. That was our major issue. I tried to be a regulator around the house and failed in doing so. I was however successful in playing the unfun-loving ass. My lesson was to learn to let go and enjoy life while having a balance of calm and rational security.

Heather(2 1/2-3 yrs) was my second girlfriend. It was the first time I actually felt in love with someone. If things didn't go horribly sour, we would have been married by now. I was a senior in college and working at the Vine in Tempe. She came in as my new boss (which definitely had perks). We hooked up together, soon moved in together and started a life. I loved her family very much and I was accepted as an equal. What ruined things was my lack of attention to the relationship and to her. It was the direct opposite from the relationship with Amber. I let go too often with blatant disregard to her needs and emotions. I went out to drink and party with my friends, most of the time without her. That started the general erosion of the relationship, which led to me doing a lot of really dumb things. In the end it came to a head a few days after Christmas in 2002 and having her move out and leave for good. The lesson learned was that now you have the ability to let go and enjoy life, don't forget that you need to take your significant other along with you on this journey, and not to forget that they have needs to be filled too.

Carley(9 mos.) was my third girlfriend. Oh jeez...where could I possibly begin with this one? How about what the fuck was I thinking with this?? I was working at Giligins and met her there. I'll give her some credit, she had a awesome body, of which I could never touch. The honeymoon ended real quick on this one. 2 months in and I should have already seen signs that I needed an escape route. To this day I have yet to meet someone that controlling, that temperamental, that superficial, that much of a perfect example of a Scottsdale Bitch. 9 total months of beratement, friend banishment, unsolicited nonconstructive criticism, and general malaise. In the end it ended by her having sex one last time with me to get herself off, rolling off, placing the ring I bought for her on my chest and saying we're done and to please not give the ring to another girl. Don't worry Carl...I didn't. I actually spit on them and threw them in the trash. Lesson learned, i will never, ever let someone control me, tell me who, what, where, or how I need to be. I will stay true to myself and never compromise that. Someone will love me for who I am, not what you can turn me into...oh, and never ever,unless a proposal is made, move in with a girl.

Crystal (2 1/2 yrs) was the seemingly unstoppable force with a heart of glass. A punk tattooed lifestyle who could not only scrapbook and change your oil, but look good going it. She got burned bad in her last relationship, so I think she enjoyed not being in a rough situation like that anymore. We enjoyed plenty of good times together, and even though we were off and on for 2 1/2 years, we never fought once. Where things failed was first with my lack of stronger communication, two getting too comfortable in the relationship and letting things get stale, and three not having a full commitment to a pursuit of something lifelong (marriage i.e.) which in most cases pretty much guarantees that its not gonna happen. But we kept trying to get things back on track. Quite a few times at that. In the end though, I think we both realized that enough was enough and it shouldn't be seemingly this hard to reach a goal. At least it didn't end badly in my personal opinion, then again, I don't know what sits in her heart. Lesson learned, despite what well intentioned feelings you have for the other person, if you have to work too hard at it to make it work, having your heart exposed while doing it and it just isn't working, let it go. You can't make something appear out of the blue if it just isn't there.

Sidenote-Something just occurred to me in regards to the last one, that it was the only relationship wherein I didn't have one bad thing to say about the person after it was over.

Granted there were a lot more notes, little lessons, undertones and reasons that happened in all 4 of my relationships, but I think these were the major ones.

Have I learned other smaller lessons from others that I've "dated" but not been in a relationship with, yeah, such as don't do the out of state thing, don't date someone who is a virgin, or is on Prozac, or is on the bad side of a being a single mom, or mysteriously starts showing up places where you are all the time...jeez!

How long is it going to take to get a fully rounded relationship that doesn't look like its going to end? I can't answer that. I don't even know if I'm going to be lucky in finally finding that one person. Besides, I don't think its based on what you learn from relationships (although it definitely helps), but also from your balance as a person in your own life. Then again, aren't things supposed to just possibly magically "click" too??

tonights dinner

spaghetti & meatballs for dinner, here's what i did.

1 pack semolina spaghetti

1 1/2 lbs ground chuck

1 lb ground pork breakfast sausage (chub ok)

1/2 yellow onion

1 can diced tomato

1 jar basil tomato sauce

1 handful fresh parsley

1 cup panko bread crumbs(1/2 cup separated)

1 cup seasoned bread crumbs(1/2 cup separated)

1 egg

salt

pepper

red pepper

italian seasoning

1 tbl sp worcheshire sauce

1 tbl sp minced garlic

olive oil

red wine

preheat oven to 375

fill a large pot with water on high to boil and to cook pasta

in a large bowl, combine meats, 1/2 breadcrumbs,egg, parsley, garlic, onion, spices (to taste), worcheshire. knead together with hands til mixed.

take 2 cookie sheets lined with parchment and baking racks on top (to drain fat).

By hand, form

1 1/2 inch meatballs by rolling in your hand. place remaining breadcrumbs in a large sided bowl or mug. place rolled meatballs in, and roll to cover with crumbs. place meatballs on the racks 2 inches apart. you should get 9 per sheet. You should have about 1 1/2 cups meat leftover. Place in 375 oven for 55 minutes or until done.

Meanwhile take leftover meat and place in a large, heated saucepan with a good helping of olive oil and brown meat for about 5-10 minutes.

reduce heat to low. add in diced tomato, tomato sauce, a dash of red wine. simmer for 20 or more minutes.

cook pasta accordingly in large pot.

when done to personal preference, combine sauce with pasta, add meatballs separately.

This process will go a lot smoother and quicker if you drink the remainder of the bottle of wine while doing this. ;D

feeling better, just got some jacked up chapped lips and sinus pressure. once again white blood cells kick ass! arrrggh!

love the tylenol pm! knocked out for 11 hrs. helped sleep off this damn virus, still congested & hacking up junk tho.nasty sticky green goblins! damn swine flu!

Day of prep

i spent most of the day today prepping things in some form or another. I got my camping gear together for the weekend trip, packed it all up and double checked my things. I went to the grocery store and to the bank after to take care of a few things, pick up ingredients and deposit some cash.

After that, I made my fruit salsa that some people have been harassing me for the past week, so I bagged some up and will deliver either later tonite or tomorrow before I go to work. Hope that shuts them up for a bit.

After I made the salsa, I took a stab at making a standard Azorian classic- Caldo Verde or green soup. its a beef broth and kale based light soup that is relatively easy on the stomach and very, very good for you-well if you don't mind being super regular and busting asses. in this batch I put in beef and chicken stock, 2 bunches of kale, diced leftover corned beef, 2 potatoes, a small handful of macaroni, one linguicia link, olive oil, garlic, and salt. You really can put in anything you kinda feel like, as long as it has the kale, stock, salt and olive oil.

So that's what I had for lunch and dinner tonight, and I probably will have another bowl in a few hours. Its very low cal and digests very quickly.

After I finished making that, I updated my iPod for the camping trip and made some playlists up to listen to at camp. I also scheduled to have my elliptical to be delivered tomorrow at 11 and then I scheduled a meeting with my realtor at 1 to go look at properties for a few hours before I have to go to work at six. Tomorrow should make for an interesting day.

What to do with $1800

As some of you may know, I've been sitting on a large refunded amount just sitting on my visa card after the cancelled Hawaii trip back in March. I couldn't get a check written out to me, so I couldn't re-invest it, or redistribute it about my accounts. Instead it just sat as a credit on my card to be used for whatever i may charge on it. i finally decided the other day that my two options were to put it towards a partial jacuzzi purchase or to use it for things a bit more productive in my life. i chose option number two, which falls in two parts. first, last Thurs I shopped around and found the best deal for a new laptop (even on the internet...btw, dell and gateway are tanking...pull out any stock you got) was at Sam's club for a HP pavilion. It was about $50 cheaper than anywhere else for what I got, so score.

What to do with part 2? Invest in my personal health. I'm tired of going to health clubs and dumping cash into them, going 2 weeks and then letting my money go to waste. i want to workout on my own time, at my own home, in a environment that I control. Hell, i wanna even workout naked if I should so desire! So, tonight, after doing a LOT of browsing and reading reviews, I purchased a $1299 elliptical machine. Its a sharp looking, loaded beast of a fat burner and muscle builder. Ellipticals give me the cardio and toning I need without the joint wrecking that treadmills do on my knees, or the ass numbing seat grinding that bikes give me. Outside of using my favorite workout tool of all (a lap pool), I've always had really good and stress free workouts on these. I got a smoking sale price through the manufacturer itself, with no tax, free shipping, a 5 yr parts warranty and a 2 yr in home included labor warranty. MSRP for this Sole* brand commercial grade piece is about $2500, so SCORE! It should be delivered within 5-10 days.

how the time doth fly...

Damn, i haven't updated this thing in ages. Not that anything hasn't happened, just didn't feel like spending the time to sit and type up a book on the computer.

Well lets see, get the basics out of the way. I got a new laptop. Not that I really really needed one, just that the old one was getting slightly slower and fuller. So i did a combo move by getting a nice and fancy new one from Sam's club and taking the old one, stripping it down and cleaning it up to give it to Chris as his birthday present. The boy needs one. He's been lacking in the technology department for years and needs to catchup. It will bring a lot of good things to his lifestyle and he'll be able to access and touch a lot more of the world this way. threes still a few things that i need to clean up on the old computer that i couldn't access in time for me to give it to him, and i need to sit and teach him a few tricks and maintenance tips to keep his up to speed. The one downside so far is that he does not have Internet access at his apartment. He'd be sponging free wireless off the surrounding airwaves, but so far he hasn't found any access points at his place.

I fixed my freezer icemaker last week. its nice to make my own ice freely again. i bought new parts for not only the ice maker but the ice bin itself too which should help with it dispensing ice out the door too. I need to tweak things on those parts a bit though to really have it top notch again.

I installed new blackout drapes in the master bedroom. It helps so much already. I no longer am woken up at 7 am with the hot sun bearing down on my face. This should help postpone my eventual move to the extra bedroom "cave" during the summer months because its too damn hot and bright in the other. That should help cut a little bit of the cost of my power bills too in the next few months as they repel heat a little too.

My garden is seriously going crazy. I cannot harvest lettuce fast enough or give it away. I just dropped a bag of lettuce, artichokes and some peppers to whoever wants them at work to use. My grape vines already have plenty of grape seedlings on them and the 6 vines themselves have taken over the whole garden. I'm gonna need a machete soon to get in there. Hey, at least I can make my own wine this year! Viva La Familia Marco DeMelo vintage 2009 desert blend. It should be a nice fruity blend of rich concord grapes, fruity red flame grapes and light thompson greens.

Jenny is a old bitch! She got her haircut 2 weeks ago and is ready for the summer heat. Its nice to not have to vacuum up underfur and shedding every other day during this time of year. The downside is that when her hair is cut close to shaved, it shows all her grey. Her entire backside is white, her chest, muzzle and shoulders. its funny, she looks like a old hyena/rat mix. She doesn't mind though, because now with her relatively hairless, she is allowed more access to the couch and bed.

Work has been busier than I've seen it in a while. People are going out to drink more, and drink they do. I see more and more drunk people than before. Well, with the way the economy is, people can't afford big ticket, luxury or major items, so they fall back on simple pleasures, like getting their drink on. Fine by me. I'll take their cash all they want. The bad thing however is that after years (13) of working in the bar making the same repetitive arm motions of pouring and flipping bottles around, I've developed tendinitis in my right arm. Some nights its aggravating enough that its hard to sleep. unfortunately, its irreversible and can't be cured. the only things to alleviate the pain is to either take anti-inflamitories (advil, aleve), do regular deep tissue massage to the effected areas to dissipate the inflammation and increase bloodflow, or to wear compression bands/braces that help to limit the movement of the muscles and tendons of the elbow. or a combination of the three. The irony of it all?

It all started getting worse as soon as i cancelled my health coverage last month. I needed to do it to shop for cheaper insurance ( i was getting ass raped by my current providers). Now more than likely I'm going to go through Eitna or another cheaper and well known company.

I've been busy shopping around for real estate the past 2 weeks working with my realtor to look at cheap foreclosed homes to fix up and rent or fix up and flip for profit. Now is a great time to do it if you have the capital, which I can manage. I've looked at homes that were going for $45k...and they are negotiable. i just sent a reply to my realtor's MLS portal listings he sent me, so this week I'm going to go look at more. I'm getting a good feel for whats around here and depending on how the next showings go, I may make a offer on something on my own.

I'm getting ready to go on a camping trip next week with Chris and a few friends. They are all going for 5 days, but I can only show up for Sun-Tue because I don't want to take the time and money off on the weekend.

Cash has been really well lately. I'm still working on a big surplus refund from my trip cancellation last month and am making at least $500 Fri-Sat nights combined. That cash has been getting dumped into savings and the market while the stocks are still tanking, so over the past 2 months I've noticed my average costs lower and have been slowly making money back again. I actually have 1 or 2 stocks in the green again as opposed to everything in the red that it was back in January.

I'll save my more personal info and emotional stated either for later or for private, but things have been looking chipper lately and I haven't felt really that sad in a while. I may not look ecstatic and I'm still lazy as hell, but at least I'm in a decent mood for the most part.

today

what i did today.
I got up rested, early enough.
I had a small bowl of granola for breakfast
I cancelled my health insurances to find new ones (waaaay too $$$)
I ordered thick blackout curtains for my bedroom to get ready for summer
I made a to do list
I scheduled jenny to get a haircut manana
I packed up a extra printer to ship to mom tomorrow
I paid my state taxes
I ordered a new ice maker and parts to fix my freezer
I uploaded and published photos from the past few weeks on shutterfly
I dominated in the bathroom
I balanced my accounts
I set up my laptop to print from my desktop printer
I contacted my realtor to view and discuss homes and income property investments
Now I'm gonna take a shower and go to work...jeez!!! Off manana!!!yay!

week or so review

What been up? Haven't felt like writing much lately since I got back to AZ from being in Cali for a week. As you may have already heard from me, we did not go to Hawaii because of my Dad's doctors orders to not travel due to his colitis and gall bladder problems. I still had a great time doing nothing more than relaxing around the house, talking with and going on walks with my folks. It was nice, comforting and relaxing.
I got back a week ago monday and had to work the next day, which was, of course, St Patrick's day. You guessed it right, bartenders never get that holiday off.As with most of the rest of the holidays (you all are welcome). It wasn't too crazy, with no problems and we made good money.
I had thursday off, and i just ran errands during the day and then hooked up with Chris at night to walk up to the bar and catchup. I'm still re-adjusting to staying up late as in when I was home for a week, I went to bed at 10pm most nights and got up at 8 or 9. We came back before midnight and crashed out early.
The weekend shifts were busy as in March is always a good, busy, money making month. Spring training, art festivals, pub crawls, parties and gatherings all tend to happen a whole lot more. I'm good with that, and with the current economic climate, when things are bad, people drink more. More people drinking means more money for me..yay!
I had sunday off and got invited out to party with my friend Kristen. We had a good time and it was refreshing to talk with a friend that has been technically "away" for 5 months. Once again, I had to make it an early night as I worked in the morning and was home and in bed to get my full rest on.
You know what though, I'm not really complaining about getting to bed earlier, in fact I am starting to like it. That and I splurged myself on saturday day too by going to Sams's club and in addition to buying the dog food i originally came there for, I bought a 2.5 inch memory foam mattress topper. I combined that with my good mattress, a down feather bed cover, my jersey knit sheets and a down comforter and its like sleeping in a marshmello. I've noticed(outside of not getting used to it for the first 2 days) that I sleep more soundly, move less, limbs don't get numb as much and i don't really wake up every hour or so as before. I woke up rested and happy this morning with only 6 hours of solid sleep. (i went to lay down in bed at 1, but ended up playing games til 5 on my laptop...damn you gametap).
I've been looking at properties in chandler,mesa and gilbert once again in conjunction with my father's requests and my own volition. We have both decided that since we have been looking in vane for apartment buildings, then it may be a better option to look into homes to snatch up and buy, especially if they are foreclosed homes. Granted, some i looked at were $46000, but they were all tore up and you needed to be fully armed to enter the neighborhood.
Some of the other listings I saw were definitely workable, in decent areas, bu they cost more, ranging from 70k-98k. They also would entail less work though. I need to contact my realtor and see about getting into them and looking around deeper. If that's the case, and I decide to get a place outright, fix it up and not have a loan on it, i can write off the repairs and immediately start collecting rent on it monthly.
That' whats been up lately.

my bomb ass recipe

I made up a bomb ass recipe for chow mien tonight.
1 package of fresh chow mien noodles
1 cup sugar snap pea pods
1 orange bell pepper
3 small green chilis
1/4 cup shredded cabbage
1/4 cup finely sliced zucchini
1 tbsp minced garlic
salt
pepper
cayenne pepper and curry powder to taste
1/3 cup oyster sauce
3 tbsp. peanut oil

Boil the noodles for 5 minutes,until just tender, you dont want them fully cooked. Strain and set aside.

In a large high sided pan or wok, heat peanut oil under high heat for 2 mins. Put in peas,peppers, garlic and zucchini. saute for 2-3 minutes til bright and barely tender. Add in the shredded cabbage, salt,pepper, cayenne & curry to taste. toss & stir.
Add in noodles and toss until heated. Add oyster sauce, toss, sit on heat for 3 minutes while stirring.
Serve, enjoy

Variations-add additional veggies to choice, peanuts, egg, or shrimp.

Airborne toxic event

Its been a while since I've heard a song with such strong melody and composition as well as some of the hardest hitting lyrics I've ever been able to associate with. The song sings true with anyone's past experiences be it you a man or woman. Enjoy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2YnDlEMXiU

reviving the dead

hey everyone, i got a memo from my old yahoo account saying that they were going to delete my account due to inactivity, so i made sure to reactivate it all. my yahoo email (which i will probobly rarely use is h2otolo@yahoo.com
my yahoo messinger ID is h2otolo
or just search my name. thanks guys!

up in the air

I'm supposed to leave to fly into SF on Sunday and then my folks and I are supposed to leave to Kauai on Monday, but as it may be turning out, I may not make the trip to Kauai. My Dad went back into the doctors yesterday to get an ultrasound and bloodwork done to get more info and treatments for his colitis, which is really getting aggravated. There is a possibility that he has a gall bladder problem now too. With his health ailing, he may not be fit for travel, which means no Kauai for him. That also means Mom won't go. So, if I have to cancel their parts of the trips, it either calling in and dealing with a shit ton of red tape and cancellation fees, or two, just not bother calling to cancel anything and have my folks pay me the cost back as they said they would ( which I don't really feel right doing), or three, go to Kauai by myself.
Regardless, I am going to at least fly to home for that part of the trip. If I do go on by myself, it would be a little weird, but at the same time, I can see how it may help to take a bit of time off for myself away from everyone and everything. I'd have a 2 bedroom condo to myself, a rental car, a schedule that is totally up to me and peace and quiet.
The problem is that I wanted this trip to be a family trip, and to give mom and dad a week's worth of relaxation and fun. It was never about my own vacation from the instance I booked it. I knew that chances are, that this trip may have been the last big trip that they would be able to go on in their lives, and I wanted to be there with them.
If I elect not to go alone, I still will have a great time spending time with them at home, that goes without saying. It would allow good family time and to spend time with other family members too.
I suppose I will find out what will go on in the next 24 hours before I leave on Sunday.
FYI- if I do decide to go to Kauai alone, if anyone is interested and can afford the airfare-I will have plenty of room in the condo for 5 days on the beach. Laters.

Weds day off

I had today off, and i guess I had a decent day. Last night after working a day shift I hung out with my old bartender Big E from the vine to discuss his very wrongful firing after he worked there for 16 years. Not cool to hear what he talked about nor what direction my old stomping ground was going, but it was expected that they run themselves into the ground. I'm glad I got out when I did.
As for today, I got up before noon, made breakfast and watched some DVR'd wrestling from the night before. I played some video games after and then took Jenny on a nice long walk to tire her out. Something that definitely struck me as wrong was that here we are, walking around town in a tank top and shorts in 85 degree sunny weather. Not bad right? Only problem is that its winter still...in February. There's just something not right with that.
We got back home and I tinkered around on the internet for a few before starting to cook dinner.
I ended up using a jar of jerk seasoning Doug gave me as part of his birthday culinary adventure he gave me on some chicken. It was phenomenal. Very much spicy, but it had me craving more.
I also stir-fried up some veggies and chow mien noodles to go along with it. It was quite delicious.
I was able to get ahold of my cousin Jenny and chatted with her for a bit. We talked about he upcoming job at a park we all grew up around next to our old grandparents home, and the possibility of making a solid effort to try and all go to the Azores this summer. It was a good chat.Off to work in the morning again!

My annoyances

In no particular order, things that are my pet peeves and annoyances that people always tend to do.

Not saying please.

Not saying thank you.

Phonecalls in general.

Eating with your mouth open.

Barking orders at me.

Not cleaning up after yourself.

Not at least trying food I make.

Not saying goodbye.

Using a phone, TV or something else while I'm trying to have a conversation with a person.

Talking during a movie, especially one that I haven't seen yet.

Hovering over my shoulder.

Smacking gum.

Abusing my hospitality (reason why I don't throw parties anymore).

Driving while on the phone.

Those damn people who leave flyers on your doors at home or on your car windows.

Homeless guys asking for change that don't look homeless.

People using my tax dollars to get things they don't need or deserve, AKA, illegals, people having unplanned children, corporate CEO's getting bailouts for stupid behavior.

Go take a hike

Wednesday I had the day off and decided to go ascend Camelback mountain for the day. It was a beautiful day outside, in the low 70's with clear, windless skies. Even though I've been in the valley for 14 years, I still haven't climbed the mountain. I've driven by it almost every day going to work the past 5 years, and it's always been visible on a daily basis for all 14 years jutting out of the valley floor.

Here's Wikipedia's listing for the mountain-

Camelback Mountain is a mountain in Phoenix, Arizona, United States. The name is derived from its shape, which resembles the two humps and head of a bactrian camel. A period of missing time amounting to almost a billion and a half years is represented by the division between the two rock formations which comprise the mountain.[citation needed] The higher part of the peak is Precambrian age granite, around 1700 million years old (almost 1/8 of the age of the Universe). The head of the camel is Tertiary age sandstone, approximately 30 million years old.[citation needed]
This mountain is a hiking destination for both locals and visitors to the valley. It is located in the Camelback Mountain Echo Canyon Recreation Area between the Arcadia neighborhood of Phoenix and the town of Paradise Valley.
The peak lends its name to a major east-west street in the Phoenix area called Camelback Road that starts in Scottsdale and goes about 34 miles (55 km) west past the West Valley suburbs of Goodyear and Litchfield Park. It starts again past the White Tanks.
Serious efforts to protect Camelback Mountain as a natural area began in the early 1910s. In the late nineteenth century Camelback Mountain was set aside for a Native American reservation. Half a century later nearly all of the area was sold to private interests. Federal and state authorities attempted to stop development above the one thousand and six hundred feet level. They failed to halt development and in 1963 efforts to arrange a land exchange failed in the Arizona State legislature.
It wasn't until 1965 that Senator Barry Goldwater took up the cause, helping to secure the higher elevations as a city park for Phoenix in 1968.
US government topographic maps from the early 1900s refer to the ridge as "Camel's Back".
Camelback Mountain has been designated as a Phoenix Point of Pride.

The mountain is over 2700 ft tall, with a climb of over 1300ft after factoring out the area's sea level. It's still a climb.There are two paths that go up the mountain, the shorter and steeper echo canyon route and the longer and gradual cholla trail. I chose the latter. The first 2/3rds of the climb is steep, but its along an established maintained trail. It's the final ascent that shocked me.

The trail literally dissolves into the granite top and you are now actively climbing a mountain instead of hiking it. here's the view right before the final ascent push.

You definitely do not want to fall here. Every year people get stranded, hurt and die on this mountain. Surprisingly, the only help you have getting up here are randomly placed orange reflectors and faded blue paint spots that loosely guide the best ascent up to the summit. Besides that, other hikers are your guides and help. There is enough people up here on a daily basis when conditions are good, so you always have contact. People get into trouble when they go late in the day and have to come back in the dark, or in bad or hot weather.

The reward at the top is a wonderful accomplishment however, and the descent is far easier and faster. Just for safety, police helicopters routinely fly by the mountain on a daily basis to give checkups and we got buzzed by one that came by as close as 100 yrds away.

I'd do it again, but man it does kick your butt. My legs are still sore 3 days later.