Betty Freggin Crocker

Betty fucking crocker is in the house. I swear all I need is a freggin apron on and days of our lives blaring on the TV in the background and I'd be set. Went to Sam's Club this morning, got some more supplies, including a sampler case of smirnoff ice and a winter flavor pack of Sam Adams beers. I set up the coolers and wet bar, and planned out placements for certain dishes (remember I told you I was an anal bastard this week!) I got back in and then started in the kitchen. Made the peanut butter fudge, a shit-load of sugar cookies(decorated), white chocolate/dark chocolate swirl peppermint bark, some jello shots (which smell damn fucking good-cherry jello with black cherry vodka), and I started prepping apps like diced cheeses, summer sausage, veggies. I got all the stuff out of the way that will last a few days. Tomorrow I can start making the perishable items. Its fun work, but its still work. Looking at the rough total for this party, I remember that I usually drop about $600 on this party (hence the whole "invite only" thing. I wouldn't want to waste my time and money on those that won't appreciate it). I also regret at times not asking for donations anymore. It used to be $5 a head, but that deterred people from coming, so I said fuck it, the people I invite deserve to be here for free.

so it begins

The first big day prepping for Friday's festivities begins today. Today is shopping day, followed by prepping and baking more stable goods that can survive 3 days of freshness. So today I'll be making the fudge, sugar cookies, maybe the macaroni salad, prepping some appetizers. Cleaning starts today too. Give the bathrooms a good scrubba scrubba, as well as making sure toiletries are stocked up. Prepping the spare sleeping areas are done today too. Oh yeah, I also have to work tonight. So begins hell week.

Inherently wrong

So I went out on a jog with Jenny this afternoon. It was nice outside, but I still wore sweatpants to fight a bit of a chill. I went on my 2 mile jaunt, and while I was out there I saw something that boggled my mind and bared sharing.
Before I tell you of what I saw, let me first describe the current weather conditions in the valley. Yesterday we had a low pressure system move in with daytime temps going no higher than 58-60. Nighttime lows around the valley were hovering around the 38 degree mark with my house being at 35 degrees. Today's and the next 2 days it was not supposed to be higher than 63 degrees with an average low of about 40 at night. So in a nutshell, its been getting a bit nipply out here lately.
Here's the issue I have that bares sharing. I was out jogging today when I heard it. First out in the distance, then coming up quick in my direction. Getting louder and louder and I immediately thought, what the fuck is wrong with this guy???! The freggin ICE CREAM MAN was driving around the neighborhood!!! IN wintertime! He passed right by me, as I was wearing sweatpants, in November, passing a house where the owner was putting up Christmas lights...now you tell me...WHAT is wrong with that picture???
This guy, I shit you not, is the same guy that you hardly ever...EVER see out here in the summertime when its 1,000,000 degrees outside and small animals and children explode when they come in contact with the black pavement! I'm convinced that he was around today for 2 reasons...
1)He's freggin retarded! Coming around in a neighborhood when the National Weather Service has issued a freeze warning for the Phoenix metro area (seriously)
and
2) The fucker knows I'm on a diet and that ice cream is one of my vices..the fucker!
The man needs help...
anyways, that's my rant and I'm stickin to it!

5 days

Alright peeps! 5 days remaining until the big day. Time for me to hunker down and git-r-done. I have a lot of prep work and a ton of crap to do before the party on Friday.
I do have a lot of RSVP's this year. I figure around 10-15 just for the dinner part, plus guests. I do admit doing one fuck up this year. That is that I planned the party on a Friday night. Its a fuck up because at my job, 3/4 of the staff works that night, and nobody(besides me obviously) really can get the night off-unless they can magically conjure a bartender to fill in for them. So, its doubtful that I may get a good amount of co-workers showing up. It's alright, whoever does make it, makes it.

The holidays approacheth...where be my prozac?

It's amazing what the power of your own mind can do on both ends of the spectrum. It can elate you and then cause you stress and ill will. Prime example-I was to be on call at work tonight (Saturday) but I figured that if I didn't receive a call by 10pm then they wouldn't need me for the security shift. To make the time go by today, I braved the crowds out in the stores by going to Big Lots, Famous footwear and good old Wally world. I got a bunch of shit for the house, some new choenies and socks and two very nice, comfortable and OVERDUE new shoes. I got back, degeared, dragged all the holiday decorations out and decided to spend the night putting up the Christmas tree and inside decorations.
I put on some tunes and started plugging away at it.Being alone as I did this, I began to think...man, I think I put up Christmas decorations alone only one time before, and that time sucked.
So now I started getting all down. I still finished the decorations off, but wasn't very happy doing it. It was more along the lines of something that needed to be done...which is just plain wrong. Christmas should be a happy time of year, but I came to grips with a bunch of things in the hours alone tonight. One, that I don't have my girlfriend around to help me with the decorations. That led to two, man this whole girlfriend in another state is gonna be rough. Three, I haven't hung out with the very few friends I do have in a long time, or at least spoken to them recently.
On the positive notes, Jenny knew I was starting to feel down, so she kept on checking up on me and wanting to be close to me (if you consider right on me close) when she did. Good to know that my dog will never leave my side. Those creatures have a uncanny tendency to know when shit is bugging you, That and in 5 days the xmas party is on with my girlfriend and family coming into town. That should lift my spirits. I have lost some weight, and I may be close to making my first goal of 5 lbs by the party. It just sucks that I can't splurge on crap food when I'm all depressed now. I did treat myself today though, I felt like I deserved it...I bought some snow crab legs and steamed them up for lunch and then had a small bowl of ice cream later on.
I still have a nagging cough today from being sick a few days ago and its really annoying.
Having allergies at the same time definitely does NOT help the situation.
Well, I'm out of here, gots shit to do. I still need to string up the outside lights and gear up for the upcoming party...my hell week has officially begun. 5 days of cooking, prepping, stocking, cleaning, working and worrying. So, this week, if you hear from me, I'll warn you all, I'll be in a very uptight mood until about 9pm Friday night after I have my first (and largest) cocktail in me.

Stoopid People...Volume 2

Its time for another installment of the long awaited return of "Stoopid People".
First of all, let me set you up for the mood I was in today... I am getting over a small cold, so I'm all clogged up, then I ended up working this Thanksgiving, following and ass-reaming night before Thanksgiving (which paid off with me making $360 in one night). Thanksgiving night wasn't anything special. It wasn't busy, I could handle it by myself and there were no assholes or "stoopid people" about. Anyways, I get home at 3:30 AM, and finally get to sleep at ohhh...6 fucking 15 AM. I sleep a few hours, and end up sleeping through my alarm. Not good. I made it to work only 10 minutes after we opened, but I should have been there 30 minutes prior. My boss, thankfully understands, since I closed the night before.
immediately I get thrown into a small fray of morning drinkers.
Now then, this almost bares the donning of another stoopid person award, but the second person I help out...at 11:15 Am..a dude mind you...orders a frozen pina colada. Despite the gay value that this screams out for a man to order, I have to do it. Sidenote-if you are a man, any kind of man at all...there are only two times you are allowed to order a frozen pina colada (or any frozen drink for that matter). 1) you are in a beach cabana in Cancun...and 2) you are ordering it for your super-hot girlfriend at the same time as you order yourself a strong jack and coke.
This is just the beginning, for as many a layman do not know, bartenders HATE making these things. Its messy, time consuming, and the sound of a whirring blender tends to notify other people that there are frozen drinks available at the bar, thus spawning more of the same.
Anyways...the day progresses and I am plain out dragging ass. I think that the highlight of the day (the real highlight) is that my good old ASU beat out U of A in the final minute, and we are off to the Insight.com bowl.
Now that the day is set up, here comes the stoopid people. Pub Crawlers. I hate these people. They are like locusts, feeding and leaving, no regard to manners...decency, tipping, or patience.
Anyways, a troop of about 10 of then stroll in. All but one are bearable, but that one...that lonely one succeeded in single handedly pissing me off.
We are going to call him Mr. Jack Freeshot. Now then, if anyone has ever worked in the food or liquor service industry, you may agree with me that my NUMBER 1 pet peeve is when a person askes for free shit or to get hooked up. Especially when that person or persons are not tipping anything before or after promising to hook me up back.
Mr. Jack Freeshot actually tried to haggle with me for no less than 10 minutes total to try and negotiate a business deal wherein I give him free shots so that he could be ahead in points for his pub crawl winnings. My gawd! What part of " I can't give you a free shot, or no I'm not going to give you a free shot, or stop asking me for a free shot" do you not understand? Do you REALLY thing that the bartender is gonna give you a free drink because you think you are cool? Or that he would do it because the bartender is a nice and cool guy? FUCK NO!
Maybe, just maybe, if you would tip a minimum of $10, then we could talk. My job, nor any other bartender's jobs are worth losing just because of your greedy ass. So Mr Jack Freeshot, you are officially "that guy", who embarrasses himself and his friends, all the while instantly making the bartender promise to himself that he will NEVER, EVER hook you up.
Plain and simple folks, you don't ask to get "hooked up" in a bar. I'll tell you what will though...tipping an average to good amount per drink, every time, being cool, patient and showing some class and manners. I reward that all the time, and everytime, without asking.
That's my rant, and I'm stickin to it!

Honorble Mr. Miyagi

We've lost am honorable and respectable actor the other day. Mr. Pat Morita passed away on the 24th of natural causes at the age of 73.

Granted, his biggest moments were of course in the Karate Kid series, but he also played a ton of smaller parts in other films, musicals and comedy skits.

Much respect to you Mr Miyagi! May the gods have a special place in heaven for you.

road to repairs

In my attempts to get a handful to things done today, I was only able to accomplish two. One, go to home depot and get a bunch of shit including a new light timer for the walkway lights, which seem to have a mind of their own in terms of when they decide to turn on or not. Everyday its different, on at 2pm, on at 6pm, on at 5am...jeez. I thought it was just a short, but I hope that getting a new timer will solve it.

Secondly, as stated in a prior post, I needed to get my brakes done. I ended up going to Brakes Plus since it was right across the street from Home Depot, and its the place that Chris had recommended the day before. I do have to give them some credit, they have good customer service and skill, and at a price that I had anticipated in paying, if not a little bit cheaper.

The only downside to the place is that you really need to grab a snickers bar, cuz its gonna be a while. I rolled in there about 12:30 and got out at 4. Granted it was pretty busy for them, and I did manage to find shit to do...read a newspaper(the entire newspaper), play poker on my phone-which I got up to and then lost $800,000. They make take a bit to do some work, but in the longrun it is worth it and I'll go ahead and recommend them to anyone if they don't already have a better place in mind. I suppose it really wasn't that bad, $300 for new brakes and adjustments-including parts, labor, seals, adjustments, fluids...yadda yadda yadda.

I got home just in time to eat 2 plain hamburger patties and relax for 20 minutes before having to go to work on what is rumored around our bar to be THE busiest night of the year. We shall see if it is true or not seeing we've been a ghosttown for a week now. Hopefully I'll be proven wrong because I don't know if my body is fully ready for it. I'm starting to get a small cold and my current diet of little to no carbs is draining me. I'll need to go pop a Vitamin B shot, some echinachia and slam a cup of coffee.

In case I don't hear from any of you soon, have a happy and safe Thanksgiving peeps!