40 Things i have to do before I leave this place.

3. 
   

1. Find that person and spend the rest of my time and travels with her.


2. Father a child


3. Be closer to my family


4. Ride my surfboard


5. Make my own wine


6. Remodel a home


7. Do a triathlon


8. Climb a mountain


9. Travel this country


10. Travel the world


11. Write a book


12. Attend an Olympics


13. See the Cardinals live in a superbowl win


14. Go on a cruise


15. Visit Yellowstone


16. Visit Yosemite


17. Visit the Alaskan wilderness


18. Donate blood


19. Ride 100 miles on a bike in one day


20. Hike the Grand Canyon


21. Have a recipe noticed and published


22. Run a successful business


23. Own beachfront property


24. Deep sea fish again


25. Paint a family portrait


26. Own and fix a classic car


27. Find some sort of treasure


28. Read all the classic literature books


29. Throw out a first pitch at any baseball game
30. Properly see where my father is from
31. Visit back where my mother is from
32. Hike the John Muir Trail (or a good part of it)
33. Drive the entire west coast Highway 1
34. ?
35. ?
36. ?
37. ?
38. ?
39. ?
40. ?

A book of questions #1

Last week while at a bookstore, I picked up a small paperback book called The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock PHD. its not a trivia book, nor does it have answers to any of the questions in it. Obviously, you provide the answers yourself, and each answer is uniquely your own.

Today's question is...

Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? would you be willing to spend the night alone in a remote house that is reported to be haunted?

Yes, and No are my answers.

i do believe in spirits, one obviously the soul of a person, whether it be good or bad. And two, i believe that enough bad mojo can manifest itself in an area that it becomes a bad place. There are far too many bad people in the world, present and dead, that have made this place a non paradise at times. Thankfully, for the most part, I think that people are inherently good at heart and outnumber the bad. Still though, evil spirits do manifest themselves at times and create very, very bad people or events. Hitler's Holocaust, Stalin and Saddam's mass murders, corrupt kings and queens, presidents, tyrants, generals, leaders and common men all have done horrendous and inconceivable evil acts against humanity without any rational explanation besides the fact that they are just plain evil.

As most of my friends and family know, for a while there, we believed that I had a spirit living in my current house that, while it wasn't doing anything necessarily bad, it just hung around and was a nuisance..kind of like a annoying 4Th grade bully that kept untying your shoes or stealing your juice box. it took a team of me blessing the house with holy water, and for Chris to come in and spiritually "regulate" on said spiritual bully. He hasn't bothered anyone nor really been seen since.

As for staying in a place that is reported to be a haunted place with evil spirits, um, no thanks. Not because I wouldn't be scared, of course I would, its that I'd be more afraid of those spirits potentially doing harm, either mentally or even physically to myself. Maybe if i was a priest or something or had a cleaner karma i could withstand such a potential spirited onslaught, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't last currently.

This past week

I'm sorry, but I haven't been able to get around to updating recent events lately. This past week has seen a variety of doctors visits and life alterations.

Firstly, I went and got my temporary crown put on last week, and the permanent mold got sent to the lab to be formed, so in two weeks i will have my final crown installed along with a couple of fillings done, then I am happy to say that (outside of regular cleanings) i am done with my dentist. I can elect to get my bridge done at a time of my convenience in the future.

As for the results from my new doctor, I'm taking a personal over ride on that one. The blood test results came back showing everything was fine and normal with the exception of my cholesterol and triglycerides, upon which, she wanted me to get on a cholesterol med prescription. Here's my deal...I'm 32, and even though I'm a little overweight, there should be no reason that I have high cholesterol...in fact, I've never had high cholesterol. I don't think I had a long enough fasting period before the blood was drawn, which is recommended that you have between 10-24 hrs of not eating before blood was drawn. i had eaten a large meal 8 hours prior to the visit.

Also, in choosing to self medicate, all I need to do is restructure my diet and exercise more, and drink less also ( which directly affects my triglycerides). So, I'm happy to say that i haven't had any fried foods in 2 weeks, been loading up on a lot of veggies & low carb foods & toned down my drinking habits too. I also have been getting some form of exercise daily, whether it be on my elliptical, playing Carolyn's Wii games, housework or riding on my new fitness bike I bought a few days ago in my living room.

I'm happy to say that I've already lost a few noticeable pounds, and i hope to continue losing for the next 6 weeks when they want another blood test to check everything again.

I really don't want to start taking pills ( if my test results really were true) because 99% of the time, those pills have side effects that require other pills, and more pills after...etc...etc...drug companies are con artists anyways....just ask my parents.

MY tendinitis in my left arm is getting much better, so hopefully by my Aug. 11th exam it will be all but gone. then its just a matter of keeping that arm strong and flexible....or get another damn job.

Oh, the joys of pet ownership by the way...I love my box of rocks, but he's sick this week with constant vomiting and mud butt. Both of the explosive kind. i haven't been able to feed him in a day because he can't keep food down. He woke me up 3 times this morning before work with dry heaves. If this continues into tomorrow, I'm going to have to drop a lot of cash on a vet visit. thank God I have a steam cleaner.
It's been really, really hot this week, almost 120 on Sunday. My garden is nice and trimmed up and maintained, but the other day i found out I had a irrigation pipe break next to my garage...conveniently underneath the concrete slab. So, before getting my crown done, i had to sledgehammer concrete in 114 degree heat to fix the pipe (that was sooo much fun!) Well, the pipe is fixed and I poured new concrete on top to patch it all up.

Outside of that, work is hot,slow in the daytime and full of annoying drunks at night. I'm so happy that I'm a responsible and courteous drunk when I do become one, everyone else are jackasses.

On a positive spin, i got to hang out with Doug on Sunday, which was pretty damn fun. He says too, that Ryan is still planning on coming out to the states in September and that he's tried to write me, but I haven't received anything from him. I don't think that it went to my spam folder, so i don't know, i will write him instead.

Thursday

Yesterday was a strange day, by my standards at least. I woke up refreshed, and set forth to do a few hours worth of yardwork in the front, tuned up the bushes & trees and mowed the lawn. It was hot, damn hot. this whole week is slated to be 110 or higher. Never the less, I was productive. I didn't get to tune up the garden though, because I had to head out to the dentist for my final installment of doctors visits this week. This visit was for an additional checkup to see how my mouth is recovering from the deep cleaning last time, and to get a quick cleaning.
I'm proud to say that for the first time since I can remember, my doctor said I was making very good progress and recovery of lost gum tissue and that things were very well taken care of. I have a appointment next Thursday to get my crown installed, and then one more appointment to get 2 fillings done, and then, I'm happy to say...i am done with the dentist outside of regular cleanings and getting my optional bridge done. yay!
After i was done with the appointment i headed up north to Carolyn's place in N. Phoenix (nice road trip). We decided to go out and see a movie and grab some dinner.
We saw Up. it was pretty entertaining, had plenty of funny moments and a few tear jerking scenes. All in all, another good pixar film that caters to all. We grabbed a bite at Pei Wei for Chinese food after. I ate the Mandarin Kung Pao chicken with rice...it was ok, but in the end a little lackluster for me.
We headed back to her place for a quick swim in the pool to relax before I had to head home to let the dogs out. I came back and watched a little TV before crashing out.
i do have to say that its been a while since I've had a day off that not only was productive and social, but also didn't have any involvement of partying. It was nice and fulfilling.

random testing

In the Meyers-Briggs psych personality test I am a INTJ, and in the
Keirsey Temperament Sorter
the results indicates that your personality type is that of the
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply -- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.
Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.
Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.
Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted.
Guardians at WorkAs a Guardian, you enjoy working as a valued member of a team, whether you are leading it or following a credible leader. You like to work with people who carry their weight. You appreciate having clear-cut responsibilities and being recognized for your dedication and achievements. Your natural traits are those that employers have traditionally valued - and that successful companies still respect. You are responsible and loyal to an organization once you've signed on.
You are most comfortable when your life is structured. As a result you usually prefer a workplace that lets you create a routine you can settle into. Because you are dependable and exacting, your colleagues and customers rely on your work. Your ideal job offers you a clear chain of command, and lets you progress through a hierarchy based on your meeting expectations.

Feeling the Pressure

Amid all the bereavement of the funeral and services, I was able to see a light during the dark times, just too bad that the light wasn't really shining in my direction in my opinion.
The majority of my cousins are now married and have, or have tried to have children. I have two cousins engaged, one to marry next year. Another just celebrated their wedding anniversary. My parents had their 45th year anniversary this year. Aunts and Uncles are celebrating births of grandchildren. The irony is that here I still sit, unwed. From the get go, my friends and family thought I'd be one of the first to settle down, now I'm slated to fall in line with the last.
I've been hearing lectures and quotable lines from Mom over the years regarding when I'm going to settle down and find a good woman, but for the first time I had to hear it from Dad this past weekend. Granted i told them that I started dating someone new, but still Dad made it a point to say that one needs someone to grow old with and spend the rest of their lives together. I got the hint about him and mom from that seeing that they've been through a lot together, but especially a lot of bad things over the past decade. I know he makes sense, but everytime I ask him or her how did you know it was time with the right person, the response was the same, that they just knew.
I was mulling that over in the airport on Friday afternoon while I waited for my flight. I looked over to my left and saw an attractive woman in her late thirties with a good sized rock on her finger. She looked busy juggling her phone and a laptop, but she looked happy. I almost interrupted her and asked her how she knew it time to get married, but I rationalized that it would be an awkward thing to ask a busy stranger. Ironically, as i thought that, I got a message from my ex that she had started seeing someone new.
I suppose some people just are destined to be alone, not saying that i am one of them. I do like the person I am seeing now and will see where it takes us, but for example, my friend Chris has been single for years, with the occasional tryst here and there. He's almost 50, and he himself has stated that he's pretty much given up on the chances of being with someone and starting a family.
I would honestly feel that the day I start feeling that way would be one of the worst days of my life.
Is there a difference between just knowing when someone is right for you and continually working on a relationship to make it work? I don't think that one should have to continually do that. Yes, challenge one another and keep things interesting, with arguments to a minimum, but I still think that two should just get along very well.
Then again, is there something deeper than that? Is there a fate to follow either by life itself or another higher power wherein you are deemed worthy enough to receive something special as a family? That theory doesn't work well in my mind as much either as i know people who live good lives and are not rewarded with it, and others who live downright shitty and still have children and family that are theirs to enjoy and live with.
Its that proverbial watched pot of water that should be boiling. I suppose I'll know when I know.

Whats going on pt.2

(Uncle Americo, Dad and Edward at the wake)

Family issues. Every single family, at least all I know, has a "problem child". Ours is no exception. Uncle Ty is a piece of work (as well as a piece of something else). As far back as I can remember, he's always been doing something wrong, illegal, immoral or generally disrespectful towards the family or others. I think he has reached his pinnacle this past week, and hopefully at the same time, reached his end.

Our grandmother finally died last week. A matriarch of 13 children, 29 grandchildren, and 18 great grandchildren. She died at 92, in a placed home, with as far as I know, nobody around her.

A week before she had been residing at my uncle's home half the day and at a center the other half. Rumors were flying about the state taking charge of her and putting her in the new home because of neglect on my Uncle's part, or because the money ran out, or because he was just sick of tending to ( very poorly mind you) her needs. I don't know what was true, if any.

A short backstory. Since grandpa died seven years ago, after he tried to botch that funeral and family arrangements ( which involved theft, and a lot of brainwashing), My uncle decided against the family wishes to have grandmother shuffle around each child's home every month for care or to place her in a senior home and took the brunt of the responsibility on his shoulders. Henceforth, to see her, we had to either go to the center to visit during operating visiting hours, or have him "schedule" a convenient time to let us see her. Holidays were no better, and sometimes we were not allowed to have her for Christmas or other days. I'm not trying to say that he's a control freak...I AM saying he is.

So now the funeral is coming. He decides (somehow as the youngest of the 13) that he will plan a ceremony not as grandma wanted it, but as he did. No music, no speeches, nothing special, just get her into the ground. Well the family wasn't going to have any of it. On the night before, Dad arranges for his church's organist to play, for him to sing, for some of the kids to speak and to have a more honorable ceremony. Our uncle protests, under the guise of "hiring" police to barricade the doors. We knew that was a crock of shit. Then he picks the pall bearers. Not the expected 6 older brothers, but instead, himself, his injured wife, 2 sisters, one 2nd cousin and one brother (he ran out of other options). Myself and others were asked to watch over the others in case a fight broke out. I never thought, in a million years that I would have to play security at a funeral, let alone my own family's.

Obviously the brothers and family protest, and it takes the funeral director and the priest himself to shut him up and correct the situation. Music was played, and Dad was able to fulfill a promise to his mother that he sing at her service. Afterwards, the priest calls for family to come and speak. Myself and my cousins rise to go, but he cuts everyone off, rushes to the podium and say there was to be no speeches, proceeded by himself giving a speech (and a few very poorly placed crocodile tears).

The rest of the day went off without a hitch and grandmother was buried. None of his family readily acknowledged his presence, nor did he include himself in anything family related. He did not attend the wake with the entire family. He was the last to show up at any of the services and the first to leave. His legacy will be that he was buried with his mother that day and we shall hopefully not have to deal with him ever again.

In my opinion, its a very sad thing and very much a punishment greater than any kind of imprisonment, to have your family abandon you for your behaviors. In the end, the general consensus of the family is that we may forgive him of his actions, but we will never associate with him again. The one's that suffer the most are his children, who besides not being allowed to attend the funeral of the grandmother they lived with for many years, to have to grow up not knowing their entire family. That will be his downfall, when his children find about his past and then shun and blame him for not attesting to his faults and hiding them from their family.

I pity him, and ask for mercy on his children.

Whats going on pt.1

I'm going to say so far that the past 10 days have been a pain, physically,mentally and emotionally. There has been a decent amount of situations going on that would tax even the most stable of people. thankfully, i think that I am able to deal with issues a bit stronger than others at times, so that may help out. First thing first, my health concerns. I'm slated to go through a plethora of doctors this week, three to be precise. On Monday I went to the hand therapist and got a custom brace made for my DeQuirvain's syndrome. I have to wear it as much as possible for 6 weeks, take anti-inflamatory drugs for 2 weeks and work on therapy to make my wrist stronger sometime during that whole stint.

Second, I have my 4th instalment of dental work on friday afternoon before work. It shouldn't be anything major this time, just a general cleaning and assessment of how well my mouth is recovering from the major cleaning from the last time.

Thirdly, I went to a new doctor today to see about finding a new general practitioner. So far she is pretty nice ( a whole lot more personable than my old doc) and knowledgeable. What she did today was take basic info down, vitals and family history. Her major concern was however, a possible diagnosis of depression. I asked her about my lethargy, boredom, use of alcohol, desire to constantly sleep and having bad sleep while sleeping. Well the good news is that I didn't fill out enough red flags during my depression screening test to have her majorly concerned, but it did rise her interests enough to do a panel of bloodwork on me. The work will measure my basic vitals and levels, but also hormone saturation and my testosterone levels. If my results come out normal for everything, then she will more than likely have me run a test perscription of Wellbutrin, an antidepressant, to see if there is any effect to my mindset.

She also said that in addition to my feelings of malaise at times, that my tightness in my chest and feelings of inadequate air intake may be stress and anxiety induced, since the last time I went through pulmonary testing they found absolutely nothing wrong.

I'll find out more on the physical health part of things in 8 days when the results are in and I can schedule an appointment to discuss options with her.