self assessment....

Not for in fear of losing oneself, but for a general assessment of what and who I am. Call it a bit of soul searching, as a buddy of mine once said to me. As far as I acknowledge, this is who or what I am . I consider this a letter to myself. A reminder to myself as to who and what I am. Crazy people always talk to themself right? Or is that eccentric people?lol..
Marc is lazy and unmotivated at times. It is my biggest flaw. I have ideas of doing things, attempt to get things rolling, then stop. Not to discredit myself once I actually start doing something, because I do finish it, but the spark to get my ass going actively doing it usually lacks. Not to say that I don't enjoy being lazy for the sake of being lazy. Everyone needs that time to decompress and zone out at any given time less they go insane.
Marc is a great cook, planner and entertainer. I love being in a kitchen, whether cooking for myself, one other person, or twenty people. It is one of my places of zen. I can be creative, expressive and comfortable. Even when I'm appearing that I am running around crazy and frazzled...i am in total control. chill...
Marc is a horndog. Sexuality has always intrigued me. I took multiple classes in college that were not required of my program just for the sake of taking it. I enjoy the psychology of it, the physiology and social aspects of it. Plus the nature of the environment i work in, nurtures in the expressive side of it. I am comfortable with all aspects and encourage healthy discussions and or participations.  It will always be a part of my life, and I enjoy all of it. I will not be condemned or chastized for it.
Marc likes cold weather....i thrive in it. Apparently I moved to the wrong state. My favorite time of year is taking a walk in winter, all bundled up, with a slight drizzle in the air. The cold soothes my lungs and feels invigorating.
Marc is a water sign. I'm a scorpio (which also explains the horndog), and I am at home in the water. Once again, apparently I moved to the wrong state...I feel at peace in the ocean, whether I'm in it, sitting next to it, driving up the coast, or even flying over it. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to live much closer.
Marc has communication and expression issues. I have been getting better at things over the years, but I still lack in dealing with confrontations, negotiation, and speaking my mind. I tend to clam up easy and put up a wall. Its a manifestation of my childhood issues, i understand that being a shy lonely kid with severe social, mental and physical issues. But I have been making strides to improve, and am a lot better off than I was ten years ago.
Marc loves dogs and birds. Marc hates cats...i don't like them, they don't like me...that's that.
Marc likes to be clean and organized. A disgusting and disorderly house bothers me. I have a large house, with two dogs. Shit gets dirty, and I have to constantly maintain it. Living in filth is not good. Common sense y'all.
Marc probably drinks too much, but that's a matter of personal perspective. I'm a creature of vice, and alcohol is one. I enjoy it. I make it and hopefully want to produce it and sell it. I make good stuff. I've been in the industry for 16 years. I don't drink everyday, nor do i need to. But when I do enjoy it, I really do. I'm safe about it, no driving, usually at home or out with friends, so with older age comes wisdom. I also know that too much can directly effect my health and weight, so I need to be mindful of it. I'm no longer 22, im 35.I can't drink as much, nor recover as easy. Mornings after a good night suck now. Something to keep my eyes on, but I won't be giving anything up entirely from what I feel for the rest of my life.
Marc loves to travel and experience new things, historically,culturally and culinary wise. I cant stand hanging with people who don't enjoy the same. Youre boring...
Marc loves football. NfL...not really much college. Sunday mornings during  the NFL season, I'm always busy, enjoying time at home with friends, out watching the game, or at the game. I'm really Jonesing right now too being the off season...
Marc needs to make better efforts to be closer to his family. Its hard being almost a thousand miles away, but I have to remember that I own a phone. I hate talking on a phone. But I have to remember that I OWN A PHONE. Family is getting older. So am I. I miss all of them.I enjoy spending time with all of them. My parents dont travel here as frequent as they used to, nor do they fly. I'll probably try to go home for a weekend in July.
Marc need to finally go into business for himself. I've said my intentions for opening up a place of my own. Once again...see the issues with motivation  above...I need to push harder in looking at property. once that is secured, I have to get other things rolling because its already started. I'd much rather be a 40 year old bartender who owns the place that a 40 year old ...bartender...
Marc needs to try and get back into art. Look, making beer and wine is an artform. I enjoy that immensely. I can truly unleash my creative side. I also know that an artist doesnt center on only one art style. I can draw.I can paint. I can sculpt. I got a goddamned degree in art for Christ's sake. I have ideas to create things. Motivation and time.
Marc likes to sleep. A lot. Let me sleep. I am a night person. I hit my main stride from 10pm to 3 am. I work a 9 to 5 job...the other 9 to 5. Im comfortable with that. I dislike mornings. I can wake up early if need be, but not for no reason. I've always been that way. I've tried to go the other route with working day jobs and school and ive been miserable. Sometimes its just a person's internals that dictate their timetables..its how i am, and im content with that.
Marc can be very passive aggressive. It can be a blessing and a curse. I shy away from confrontation. Ive never been in a physical fight. I also could use more skills in standing up for myself. Choosing the right battles and how to fight them . Being constructively aggressive and not doing stupid things or getting into stupid arguements. I've done stupid things by not thinking things thru fully.Take a moment and think for a second.Step aside and wait. Think of my actions, the consequences and how would I deal with something if things went badly.
Marc needs to remember to not change things that are important to him at his core.I need to remember to always be true to myself, for sake of being true to others in the process. I will not change those things that make me...me. I don't need to be put into situations wherein a change is required, whether it be for a job, family, relationships or friends. Be true to yourself.
That is all for my soul searching today....

What do you want to be when you grow up

Most parents, or adults when conversing with a young child tend to at some point, ask the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Most kids are quick to answer back with the obligatory, policeman, astronaut,nurse, cowboy, baker..etc..
Which is all fine and dandy, but i think i would appreciate much more a simpler answer of being 'happy". No matter what the child does for a future living, as long as the child is happy doing it, or living a happy lifestyle, that would be the best answer for me. Not whats pushed on them by society, or what they went to school for, or what their parents would like them see them do with their lives. Being happy should be paramount of all that.
That being said, I'm at a point in my life where I've met someone and am very happy. She loves me for who I am, what i do and where i want to be. Is supportive of my decisions and appreciates that her actions are reciprocated as equally as i can and enjoy giving back. I also have an idea of what I wish to do with myself. I have found a niche that in a parallel way, corresponds with what I went to school for in a art degree and what i currently do for a living in working in the restaurant and bar industry.
I have a passion for creating things and constant learning new ways to do them,especially with food and drink. One of my largest passionate hobbies as of late is beer and wine production. I relish in the science of it, the exploration of it, sharing it, and giving them to people to enjoy them. Yes, I may still be relatively new to the production and have a lot to learn, but as with working in the service industry, you learn as you work. There really is no other way. You may read all the books written by experts, and as smart as it is to gain your research, you learn the most being hands on.
So, being "happy" is doing something you love to do. Its the pinnacle ascension of anyone that works wants, to do something you love that makes work not work, but a passion and a enjoyable hobby. That would entail me wanting to pursue a ownership of a establishment of my own, preferably a brew pub where I could focus my own products and deliver them to a discerning and appreciative public. I view myself as a giving person and wish to contribute my talents to a community (all the while giving them a buzz..haha).
Working for one's self is a desirable and pioneering spirit that is part of the American spirit. To start from nothing, and make something of yourself. You may fall down a few times along the way, but that makes you be judged not on the cause of your falling, but how you get back up and correct yourself. My father is a shining example of this. Being an immigrant here, came with nothing, became a citizen the right way, worked himself to the bone, failed along the way, got back up and became stronger and made a very nice life for himself and his family. Even in his old age and numerous struggles that comes with age, he is still adverse enough to overcome whats put in front of him. It's inspiring.
I'm doing my research, looking into legalities, property, logistics, financials and production.
Make beer, good food, own a place, make people happy, be with people I love.
Lets get this done. Boots to asses. Thanks to my friends who are already standing behind me on this as well as my co-workers and employers. You will not be forgotten in this process.
It's not my goal to be a millionaire, though I wouldn't complain if it happened. It's not my goal to be a huge entity in my community, though to make the community a better place is an aspiration. My goal, to have people around me that I love, a place of my own that provides a service i love to give, live comfortably, maybe start a family, constantly experience new things, and to just be "happy". It really isn't as hard as people make it out to be.

2011 review

Its was a very long road this year. that road got very bumpy during the middle of the year. Even though the speedbumps came, it was still a very productive and interesting year full of new experiences,places and faces.
2011 Year in review.

Finances: 7.0  -1.0 from 2010
I downgraded this one point because I spent a LOT of money this year. I am financially stable, but I didn't save anything this year. I spent a lot of money on home improvements, vacations and personal debt to my ex because of said home improvements. I don't regret it however, because the house is more comfortable and user friendly now, and I have a lot of good memories and knowledge from my travels to new places this year. I would do it all again. I hope to save more this year. I want to move some investment money around to safer and more profitable accounts. I am pulling alot of my stocks out due to an instable market.
Work- 5.0   n/c
Not much change from last year. I am still senior staff there. I've applied to other jobs and continue to look for new job leads about every other week. I've had a couple of interviews this year, but they were for jobs in new places that still haven't been built yet, so I am still waiting on  a spring callback. I realize that I am a replaceable employee, and that hastens my looks for potential new employment. there has been a rash of interworkplace drama, that for the most part, I haven't really been involved in, but it still isn't too comfortable to be immersed in. It is time for me to 'leave the nest" as my boss said in a related discussion with him earlier this year.
Social Life-7  up 2.5 from 2010
This is up a lot from last year. I have made new friends, hung out with a lot of different and new people, and reconnected with a couple of old friends. I see Chris and Jillian when they make time to hang, but they are still very busy. Now that their holiday retail season is over, it may free up more time. I've been seeing Doug more often, and he is doing well. My friend Sean lives in Phoenix now, but I don't see him anymore. I think he's still dating my ex's friend, so that may be a little awkward. I've usually have had people over more on the weekends. I would have liked to have a lot more people over, but I'm not about to start mixed company drama. I may get into that later. I'm just saving myself drama.
Love life- 5 down 4 from 2010
This is way down. Reasoning? I no longer have a girlfriend. My ex and I had a lot of differences come to the surface this summer and it turned out to be irresolvable ones.  So she moved out this past August and I haven't really heard from her since. I received a chaffing email a few months ago from her that had some teeth to it. So I responded. It was not pretty. More than likely i will not hear from her again, and if that's the way it has to be, sobeit. I didn't want to part on a bad note, but if its brought down, I have no choice but to finish it off. I'm currently dating, who I see is my personal business other than that. I'm starting to think that since i turned 35 this year, having children may not be in my future. Especially seeing that my choices of women has shifted from women aged 22-30 to women aged 30-40. I doubt I will find a young lady with enough mental capacity or experience to handle someone my age. I.E.- my ass is getting older.
Spirituality-5.0   n/c
I have no big changes with this stuff the past year. I went to midnight mass during Christmas and it wasn't anything special. I don't really like going to church. But when I'm home, I know it makes my parents happy, so I don't mind going. Besides, as Dad likes to say, you don't really need a church to talk to your God.
family-7.0  up.5 from 2010
I really have no reason why I rose this up a smidge. I was able to see family a little more this year. My parents were well enough to travel to Arizona after 2 years this past October. Nobody left us this year. My cousin Richie decided to shape up and enlisted in the Army. Some old age health set backs here and there, but nothing life threatening. It was a calm year for the family, and that's good.
Health 6.5 up 1 from 2010
I increased this a little bit because I lost some weight, found new ways to exercise, and have some new technology health tools. There is still a lot of work to be done, but the ground rules have been set, and I can move from there. Its just a matter of getting off my ass more and be more motivated.
Overall-5.5 - down .7 from 2010

Down, yes. Primarily due to my ex leaving. I think that may have been a good thing though, so I am not letting this score truly reflect on my state. I think that I am in a better position than I was last year this time. I achieved a life goal or two, made more wine (even got a gold medal in it), learned how to surf, travelled some of the world. Learned how to renovate a lot of things around the house. Learned how to make beer, good beer, and keg it. i made some karmic justice with some things in my past, either by returning things or apologizing to people for transgressions made in order to bury a couple of axes.  I have a lot more things potentially opening up this coming year, ways to save more money, be healthier and happier. That is probably my primary goal this year, and in life in general, to be happier. Whatever or however that is accomplished is, well, up to many different interpretations and options, but it seems easy enough. Whether it be a new job, enhanced love life, or health. those can all be attained within reason. I'm eager for this year, I feel its going to be a good year. It's the year of the dragon, my year, and I've been waiting for a while to have it come back around, so I definitely am ready. Come get it.

Midyear

Its been since March that I got on here and updated anything, not that there would be much of you out there that still follow my scribblings.

there has been a lot of travelling during the first half of this year, between Denver, San Francisco, Hawaii, St. Thomas, Chicago and Las Vegas, I am pretty travelled out, and so is my wallet. It was all worth it though, seeing new places and new experiences. Carolyn made sure that i achieved a life goal this year in getting on a surfboard for the first time, in of all places, North Shore Oahu, Hawaii. It was a bitchin ride too, dropping in on a huge one foot tall wave and having it bear down on the back of you. one of the hardest things I've done so far I tell you. You can't imagine how hard it is, even on a little ripple like that to get vertical on a stick. You quickly learn how many different muscles you have that you never use....and the value of sunblock in places that you don't normally put on (i.e.-scalp and backs of your knees).

I've been putting my feet to the grindstone in the vinting department after winning an unexpected gold medal in the International armature winemaker competition for last year's Piesporter. I've since bottled a Chianti, Apple Riesling, Champagne, Blush and currently have a Vognier fermenting as I speak.
I also have all the gear needed to make an attempt at brewing beer. I just need to get off my butt and hammer it out one day with either the hefe or stout ingredients I have.

Work on the house this year has gone well. We have the doors, screens and windows being worked on and some done. We've done some landscaping in front, and the garden is thriving well.

The dogs are all healthy, even after Izzy's scare with her back issues. Jenny is getting older, more jealous and very crotchety. Trooper is, and always will be my little retard. To celebrate the fourth of July, he got his nose into the planter in the kitchen and consumed an entire handheld U.S. flag and stick. Considered a blessing or a curse depending on how you look at it, I found said flag, in its undigested entirety, on the lawn a few days later.

I have had a few job bites at a major distributor job here in Phoenix after doing my term of Jury Duty in May, and I am still waiting to see what may come of it and my chances of finding another stable job with much needed benefits and growth. Other options are still out on the table as well, but with the current economy, nothing is for certain and if anything does come my way, its best advised to jump on it, even if if may mean taking a step back in order to leap forward.

Carolyn was able to procure tickets to the MLB All Star home run derby last Monday night, which marks my most major sporting event attended to date. Next stop super bowl right? It was a fun time, and probably more entertaining than the actual all star game. We paid for it however, seeing that both of us started to get sick that night, and ended up getting knocked on our butts with a flu bug for 4 days. That was not fun....at all.

the 4th of July was a great time. I ended up staying here while Carolyn was in Detroit and Milwaukee for that week. I was able to hang with good friends and have some fun times. Arizona legalized fireworks in the state, so for the first time since my childhood, I was able to use some explosives. Funny though how they seemed so much grander when you were 4 feet tall and ten years old. Aw, who am I kidding, anytime you can blow stuff up in your backyard is a great time...

I also was finally able to see my buddy Chris, who I haven't seen in 7 months. He's been battling health and work issues, has seen better days, but is doing the best he can. It was good to see everyone that weekend.

We received a nice unexpected care pack at work for a couple of us from one of our customers. Chris Klenakis, the offensive line coach for the Arkansas razorbacks sent us a box of rather pricey hats and shirts to use. It was very nice of him to do that, and totally unexpected. I won't be wearing it on ASU gamedays obviously, but as Justin put it, as for the SEC," I don't have a problem rolling with some hogs.." Coach K is a pretty stand up guy, and from what I've seen and talk to him about, he's a good man to know.

As for anything on the horizon, not much as I can see. No major trips are planned. We would have liked to try and get out to Hermosa Beach this summer for a weekend, but that is up in air depending on time and cash. All we are waiting for is for this summer, which has been deceivingly mild, to end before everything gets more active in the fall.

The value of friends

This month, my live in lady has company coming in every weekend to stay with us. With the exception of the last visit being family, all of them are childhood friends, including one that she has known for 23 + years. I can say I come close, seeing I've known my friend Dirty Ryan since I was about 10. I am 34 now. Dirty Ryan now resides in Japan, and has been there for an astonishing decade abouts... The last contact i have had with him was a few days ago via a few sentence email checking up on him after the country got demolished from a huge earthquake there. He is fine, but outside of that however, it has been a long time since we have corresponded with each other. I can safely say that I have been an equal partner in slacking between he and I in keeping in contact. Yet that bond of friendship is a unique one that most of us have, the one of growing up with someone. To elaborate further on it, its also one that even if years go by, bearing mental illness or some other cataclysmic event, the bond still remains, and for the most part, we pick up right where we left off after high school graduation. The same goes in respect to my other buddy Douglas. He lives here in Arizona, a few miles from me. Even as we go months without hanging out, it is no problem to just sit around and do nothing.
Those childhood bonds, the ones we share through schooling and teen life lessons, are innocent at best, and sophomoric at worst. That is what makes those bonds so endearing. The sneaking out at night, a taste of a first beer or of a girl's lips, the curious trespassing on property or inner thighs, petty theft, car waterballooning, burger flipping job working teenage angst that screamed through your walkman cassette player as you loop play your "mix tape" with your amigos.Even though I may have made and lost friendships in my college and adult life, for the most part, the closest ones I had in my young years still remain intact.
Lately I have been focusing on repairing or acquiring new friendships with people to come close to the same bonds as youth. It isn't the same. The grown up experiences and differences are unfathomable to attempt to recycle an innocent youth. While I can strive to make new friends, I should remind myself, and those others out there in my past of bonds that existed long ago.
Its that warm blanket, sitting on the couch in front of the Christmas tree and fireplace while its freezing outside as a kid feeling that makes whatever stress you had just go away for a while as you reminisce.
I was reading an article on MSN tonight about when and what to throw away childhood memorabilia. At one point in the article, the author quoted about digging out her old yearbooks and the backpage senior quote pages. I had totally forgotten about purchasing one of them back in 1994 until now. Digging it out, it was a awesome touchstone to the past and all of my friends. I also remembered my flaw it it that I wrote way to damn small for the actual yearbook that even if someone I named in it tried to read it, they would need a microscope to see it. So, I scanned it, blew it up, sharpened it and it was still barely legible.

So in closing, I'll try to translate as best I can. Remember, sophomoric at worst right? It pretty lame, but then again, so was high school...pretty much left to right...

"H20 polo crew, you guys are sick. Brendan A. Adam B.(cool daddy-o), Gavin W. (shpeedos mon, slurpees),Jared Kohler (smooth & creamy), Long N.(cool daddy), Dan T. Sean M. Jason Foisy (FRESHMAN!),Matt Varney, Carlos C.,Lisa T & Colleen Mc. You guys are the best, see you next year, thanks for the memories. Salute! Camel Man! To Coach Frank-I love you bro, you're the best, thanks. To my lost cousin Sonia Bray-We all love you and will never forget you. RIP Love cousin Marc.

To my loving cousin Tina D.thanks for being there for me. Love always, Marc.

Marc Demelo 94!Portuguese Pride! Viva Italia! Class of 94! Whats up? We've been through a lot eh?In a way, I'm sad to go because all of my friends are going too.You're a part of me, I'm going to miss you all. To Mike Hagan,Tony Easley (my art rival). To my pisan Nick Torre-she passed the test. David Coffaro, the ocean man. Juaquin V. (Barney!) & Ken B. Tom Traung-eh, Ryan is still a good guy. Vince Bravo-thanks for being there for Tina. Steve Miloch-the Mortal K-bat king!Johnny Cage! Rigo Hartmann- You got my respect 4 being there 4 Sarah. Jovan "Poo" Barnes, What's up? Zahedi G- NORM!! Sam Curlee-my artistic bud.

To all the women out there- I couldn't find a better bunch anywhere else! Amy Laudenslayer-hey babe, stay physical.Allison Pelfini-SMILE! Nicole Leone & Christie K.-I luv you as the sisters I never had. Thanx. Niki Costello, Ruth Bravo, Vanessa Chavez & Amy Ellington, luv y'all. Heidi Schaffer,luv u, thanx for helping Sarah-you're the best. Sue Couret, you are my first love, too bad things didn't work out-but I still care 4 ya. Sarah Fisher-what's going to happen 2 us? I still care for ya,luv always.To Tina,Jenny and Jeanette, luv cousin Marc!

To my pisan Ryan D. aka EDDIE. How da $#@! are ya doin. I could never find a bro like ya. Yuv ya man! The shpeedos mon.

To Mr. Engleman-The 2nd father of mine.Luv ya bro, can't thank you enough,keep in touch ok? Mr. Farina-my pisan, thanks.Mr Ulloa,Mr.Dodge,Mr. Queen,Mrs. Odington thanks.

U2, Pearl Jam, Stone T Ps. Hack-fest 93-94, go Doug!To Doug H. aka Vizzy Z. Am I gonna have to shoot you? See ya my pisan."

resounding haitus

Remember back in elementary school how your views of time and space were definitely skewed? Summer couldn't get to you fast enough, and when it did, it seemed to last forever. That concept changes in adult life, and time not only seems to fly by, but at the same time, you got a lot of long days to deal with. Seven months ago was my last updated posting on the blog site. Its not that I haven't had the time to do it, as I have plenty of free time during weekdays, but I suppose my motivations have changed. Don't worry, i wont go into a detailed listing of my daily or weekly events over the latter part of 2010, but I will at least attempt to do a brief year in review as I usually do.

Whereas 2009 was the year of the Ox, 2010 was the year of the Tiger. A year full of unpredictability, fast actions, and erratic behaviors.

Finances- 8.0 + .5 from 2009

I can not say that I made more money this year, but I did save more this year. Towards the end, I turned saved money into larger purchases for myself and others. Call it a self induced stimulus package. I made smart investing decisions, along with some patience, that ended up turning me a profit. Due to Carolyn and I now living together, it slashes out expenses drastically, which should bolster our accounts this year even further.

Work- 5.0 +1.0 from 2009

I am now the senior employee at my job. Trust me, that is not an achieved life goal. It is up 1 because business has been good, my attitude is a bit more relaxed at work, my schedule has opened up to have 2 consecutive, weekend days off, and for the most part, I am injury free. That still does not justify staying at the job any longer than necessary, but there are wheels turning for master plans to potentially come into fruition.

Social Life-4.5 down 1.5 from 2009

How delicately can I put this? Carolyn is more than not, my only social outlet.That is NOT a complaint. She is my partner in crime and confidant. Some acquaintances (especially ones that owe me) have disappeared or have been removed from my circle. I have not really seen or hung out with the majority of my best friends in a very long time. And its not for my lack of trying. Sean has been a closer friend to me in the past 6 months than anyone else, even though he has been shuttling between Arizona and California almost weekly. He finally landed a full time job here in Phoenix, so he should be around more.

Love life-9.0 +.5 from 2009

Its up and I am very happy. Everything else is not your business.

Spirituality-5.0 +1.0 from 2009

I had it out with God, or whatever force is out there a 5 months back. I cursed his name and spat at it. I also made my peace with it on my own one stormy day a month or so ago. Not that I am going to start going to a church, but I think a greater being and I have a mutually assured collective bargaining agreement. Basically the deal goes that I will understand and forgive whatever hardships were thrust on my during my earlier years as long as my father and mother's health improves and they are given more time here. I will keep my end of the bargain up as long as the terms are met.

Family 6.5 no change since 2009

The good news is that nobody left us this year. The rest of the family is healthy and doing well. My parents are, well, going day by day. Dad had a small piece of skin cancer cut out again, which is of no concern. He is currently dealing with major bladder and colon issues after his past prostate cancer treatments. Thousands of dollars, daily time, pills, pain,isolation, aggravation and the inability to travel 20 miles away from home is a daily occurrence for them right now. they did not make it out to AZ last year to visit due to treatments of dad's issues, which are still currently ongoing. Mom got a needed outpatient leg vein procedure done in December which should help her mobility. I can call and visit as much as I can, but the rest of the family doesn't really go to visit or help out all too much (*ahem...hint...hint...for the bunch of family that lives 100 miles or less from him, they could use you). Christmas was not fun. I hardly spent time with family for the week. It was depressing to see my parents, my foundation in life, down and out and needing assistance.

Health 5.5 +1.5

My weight is stable. I can do physical activities a little better this year. My eating habits have somewhat improved. I try to incorporate a fruit or vegetable in each meal. Certain unhealthy vices and habits of mine have gotten less or are entirely gone. My dental report card is good. for the first time in a long time, I have gone a year or more without a cavity. My mental state is alright. I can still breakdown at random times, but with my lady at my side, I have someone to confide in at all times.

Overall- 6.2 +.5

Anytime I can say that my life as a whole has improved, even by the slimmest of margins, is a good thing. The thing about it is to keep things progressing in a positive way, or to make the needed changes to make things better. We have a new addition to the family in Izzy, a 19 lb French Bulldog. She is our lovable little tank of a dog. Jenny may not like it, but she has to share the mantle of queen bee in the house now.

On a side note, I did achieve items on my Life goal list.

I found #1. Someone to 1.Find that person and spend the rest of my time and travels with her. And #5 Make my own wine.

I believe that it is the first time that i have achieved a life goal(s) outside of completing high school and college. It feels good to do so. Here's a full list (cut n paste to see)

http://marcdemelocpg.blogspot.com/2009_08_01_archive.html#1422494432070290663

This year has the potential to have a lot of new and grand experiences. I will be doing a lot of travel in the the next 60 days. St. Thomas, Vegas, Hawaii. Friends visiting from out of town. Hopefully family will visit soon. Employment may change. Depending on how drastically employment changes, so might the place we live. Either way, I am eager for this year, and starting to get excited.

Phoenix Rising

What’s to say about the past few months about me being AWOL? I’m a busy man, busy, busy. Ok, maybe not that much, busy enough, but mostly I don’t feel like writing a lot on the blogsite. That said, the weather is hot here, damn hot., like you never have to worry about your coffee getting cold hot. You could be carrying around a hot pocket fresh out of the microwave and the cheesy, bubbly innards of it would feel nice and cooling if you slathered it on the back of your neck. It makes necessary yard work completely unbearable…as you do it at 9 in the morning.
Carolyn and I spent the recent 4th of July weekend up in Flagstaff and Sedona. I have recently gone through a schedule change at work, so now, for the first time since I don’t know when, I have two days off in a row, and they are Saturdays and Sundays…unheard of! So we have been doing a lot of stay-cations here in the valley as well as taking time to get away for a weekend to where-ever we choose for the weekend. This weekend coming up, we are getting a room in our new favorite hotel in Scottsdale for dirt cheap and will be out tearing up the town Saturday night.
The family is fine, as much as I know. Nobody is sick, and they are all just going on with their own lives. That’s not a complaint, it’s a good thing that everyone is fine. My cousin Chris finally said goodbye to this foul stench hole of a state by finishing his teaching internship at ASU and moved back home a few weeks back…the lucky bastard.
The garden, is well, during this time of the year, being slowly and systematically cooked by the sunshine. The only things surviving are the trees, grapevines and the pepper plants. Which are producing a vast amount of peppers. So much so that my freezer is chock full of gallon ziplock bags of them. Need to find enough things to do with them or else I’ll have to start giving them away. As per professional advice, I have chosen to let the grape vines center their energy on strengthening the vines themselves instead of making a young vine struggle to produce grapes, and have plucked off any shooting grape clusters. It has produced a healthier and more vigorous vine this season so far. I also learned and am using a few new tricks to get rid of pests in the garden, and am happy to say, I am pest free this year.
Carolyn did get me a wine making kit last year for my birthday, and a week ago she purchased me a few gallons of cabernet grape juice, so I can start my winemaking on my own without my own grapes. Its an easy kit, and should produce decent wine unless you are a complete idiot that can’t follow instructions. Unfortunately during the hot season here, I cannot set up the wine in my garage because it is far too hot to ferment. I have set up my kit on a part of the kitchen counter where I can keep the temperature hovering around 77-85 degrees. Once started, its estimated about 3 months till I am able to produce about 36 bottles of red….sooo, hello Christmas presents!Ha!
I have been working out more and trying to consistently eat well. My breathing has gotten a lot better and I don’t feel winded as easily anymore. Taking to the pool again feels great, and although I’m still not back to my high school form, its still a nice feeling to still be the fastest person in the pool. When I’m at home, I use the elliptical and watch Sportscenter. I had the World Cup on recently but since Portugal and the USA were knocked out, there hasn’t been much interest lately. I will try to watch the finals on Sunday. Netherlands vs. Spain….hmmm…tapas and siestas or chocolate and hookers? Chocolate and hookers!
My buddy Sean is staying with me for a bit while he is on leave from his job. I know that he wants to stay in Phoenix, so he’s hoping and hunting for contracts out here and not back in Sacramento or Vegas, but regardless, he will take whatever is contracted out to him on his install sites. Meanwhile, while he is here, we are having a good time, maybe a drunken time or two, but a good time in general. He’s a good man and a good buddy that I’m happy to entertain at home.
Outside of that, the tigers are doing well in baseball, and thank God that football season is around the corner (yes!yes!YES!). Summer is half over, and that means the heat is half over too. The monsoons have not started yet, and need to soon. We need the rain and to have something to cool off the nights in August and September.
The only other things coming up is that we have a trip to go back home to Cali in September, a potential weekend trip to San Diego in August, a weekend birthday trip in September to Michigan, and I may go camping for a day or two later on this month.
There’s not much else to fill out in on outside of that. Til then, check you all later!

Ketchup...not just for burgers anymore

Its been a little bit. Ok, no, its been a good couple of months since I've last written. After a while, one tends to get caught up in the dregs of day to day life, things to do, places to see, all the while with a touch of laziness.

February and March went on through without much of a hitch. Carolyn and I went to (or at least attempted to go to) a variable smorgasbord of spring training games here in the valley during March. It was pretty much every Sunday, Thursday and Saturday there was a game to go to. A few got cancelled, some I just didn't go to. At $8-$13 a pop, I justified the loss of not going if something better came along.

Regular season baseball started, and I have the baseball package at the house on cable...once again trying to follow baseball due to a certain Detroit fan.

Wrestlemania (yes, I have a guilty fetish for my man-soaps...thank you Dad for instilling the desire to enjoy watching "professional" wrestling) was a fun pay per view to watch at home at the end of March, followed by the very next day of going to a live taping of Monday night's live TV show with Doug and Chris as we cashed in some unexpected tickets from Christmas. It was quite a nice surprise to go to an event that had the purpose of not only being stupidly entertaining, but an instant ego boost due to the surrounding crowd. I'm missing a tooth, but I think I alone had more teeth than my entire seating row combined. it would have been a great time to ransack the lovely town of Apache Junction as I think the entire town was there.

One thing has been a relative constant though, just because the NFL season has ended, Sunday fundays never really quit...the game just changes. Whether it be baseball or the current NBA and NHL playoffs (or even the recent NFL draft)...its always a reason to party, especially to take the time to be outside and grill & party before the summer nukes all of Arizona once again (yes, it was 95 today...in April).

I've been spurred on to make improvements in most aspects of my life, mostly by that same lovely Detroit lady (wink wink). I have restructured my diet and am eating a lot more sensible. I always try to incorporate a fruit and a vegetable in all meals and to limit my intake of bad foods in general. i force myself to have breakfast now, whereas I used to eat my lunch as a first meal.

I restructured the office and moved all my fitness equipment in there to consolidate my workout area and to open up my living room once again. I rejoined the gym, 24 hr fitness again, and whereas I don't go as often as I should, it is nice to once again have a lap pool at my disposal.

I chose (I swear inadvertently!) to do nothing but yardwork last Thursday on my day off...aka Earth Day. I planted two 12 ft shade tree saplings as well as a virtual OCD arborist list of landscaping duties that would make a dayworker landscaper cringe. On a side note...if you ever...EVER want to figure out what workout plan would give you the fastest results...I recommend the dig a hole workout. Better yet, dig two holes, about 3 ft deep by 3 ft wide in the Arizona soil (aka clay). I was sore for 3 days.

the new vehicle is holding up just fine and still has that (sniiiiiifffff) new car smell. its wonderful...and also due for her first oil change.

I had a garage sale last Sunday. I made $70 and got rid of a lot of crap. The beauty of it is that a good potion of the things sold ( bar promo items, glassware, other crap) was free for me to acquire, so it was pure profit...benefits to working in a bar. I got rid of all my old furniture and then donated the leftovers to the Goodwill to get a fat tax writeoff for next year.

Besides, I wouldn't want to have all that extra crap if i decide to move....

Which brings up a tentative topic, a potential move.

Earlier this month, I took my buddy Chris once again to his old stomping grounds in Southern Cali., Hermosa Beach to be exact. This little hidden gem nestled covertly in the middle of the LA area has found a very special place in me. It continues to defy the SO. Cal. attitude by being it's laid back, come as you are self. So, on our last day there while sitting in the hotel lobby, waiting for our taxi to the airport, I picked up a newspaper and perused the want ads and the places for rent. I thought to myself...this could be done. I could find a job or two easy enough, and a place to live, and there are plenty more job opportunities for Carolyn out here as well. Upon my return to the PHX, I brought it up to her and we started looking for employment for her. Sure enough, there are plenty of jobs that she more than qualifies for and hopefully could easily get.

The only foreseeable problems would be finding a place that allows not one, but two midsize dogs, and her current automobile issues and her apartment lease. The latter two would be able to be freed up in about a year, so if this does happen, it would be sometime around this time of year next year or later. As for the house here...well it would either have to be sold or rented or whatever (vacation home for mom & pop??). Mom sounds on board with it. In addition to being something beneficial to Carolyn and I, it would bring me closer to my family, especially with some aunts, uncles and cousins on my Mom's side.

Thus begs the question? How serious and why? Well, not only can I bother saying the benefits of being on a coastline and out of this desert heat, but I think it is safe to say that the vast arrays of opportunities are better suited there than here. Is Phoenix expanding and getting better? Tough to say. I just am really starting to feel that my time is up here and there isn't much desire to stay around. I'm not saying that there are opportunities here, there are, but more than likely those opportunities would require a longer commitment to the desert, which I don't know if I really want. As of this month, I have been here for 15 years and 4 months. Technically speaking...half my life just about. I also think that a wider array of opportunities, not only for work, but for private life and quality of life may benefit Carolyn and I's relationship. Not that anything is wrong, but a stagnant desert isn't exactly someplace I may consider raising a potential family if it is decided to go that route at some point.

On another note to get the hell out of dodge...my allergies are once again ravaging havoc on me. Nosebleeds, dry cracking skin, itchy eyes, congestion, and the inside on my nose feeling like a triscuit cracker would be wonderfully unmissed if I wasn't in a desert format. that and i could finally get my board and wetsuit wet on a frequent basis. (That's my own personal guilty reason)

we will be going to Michigan next month on a week's vacation and a brand new experience for me, and no, I'm not just talking about going to a state that i have never visited yet either.

So what happens from now until anything happens if it does? We continue to do research, work, and live our lives. See what opportunities are out there for us, even if they are ones that others didn't expect us to take. time is starting to waste away and so are expectations and personal lives of inaction.

I'll try to keep things posted better in the future.