Gulliver's travels part 3 - Why my Uncle is a P.O.S.

Christmas Day is usually more relaxed than the nite before, usually because most of us are hungover and sleep deprived. Today wasn't really the case. We were all still out of it.

A rarity occurred at my Uncle's house that day, an awkward silence. That was strange. This is one of the more boisterous houses that I know, filled with fun and crazy Portuguese antics, but once again, it was missing something today. We all perked up though once everyone showed up and a little wine started flowing. Eric and my cousin Margurite brought over their new puppy, Duke, for us to play with, so that lightened the mood.

We were finally able to have Christmas Day this year with Grandma without any drama, at least not from the get-go. She enjoyed being out of my POS Uncle's house and being with the rest of the family, enjoying good food. Christmas Day is a quick day too, as most have long drives back to central Cali, or have to split time with in laws or other family. Seeing that, my Dad agreed to drive Grandma home to my POS Uncle's house after my Godfather brought her here so he could spend a little extra time with Uncle Frank. No problem! It was too good to be true though, as there just had to be drama on Christmas. To Be continued...I gotta go to work.

Gulliver's travels part 2

Yes, I am the Lobster whisperer, as well as their executioner. After the airport fiasco, I had a good home dinner with the 'rents and then a good night's sleep. Next day, Christmas Eve. I get up and have breakfast. The parents head off to church to sing in their first mass of 3 in the next 24 hours. While they are gone, I take the car off to Foster City and head to 99 Ranch Market to get fresh seafood for dinner as per the 'rent's request. I pick up 2 large crabs, 2 lobsters and one large red cod fish for a few days later.

I get back just as the folks do and we start prepping the meal, making a crab boil and giving the crustaceans their last rites. While the water boils, I wrap gifts. Then its on. To ease the suffering, I put the critters to "sleep" beforehand. resting them on their heads or backs will knock em out so they don't squirm. Them things tasted pretty good.

After an early dinner, we got ready and then headed out for the night. My folks went to their night mass and I headed over to my Godfather's house to meet up with the rest of the family for good times.

I show up and everyone is still in the middle of dinner. They are eating late this year. i crack a beer and take makeshift seat at the end on the table and hang out with my youngest cuz, Noel. Typical spoiled 4 yr old. Me, me, me,me...he'll whine until you sit on him. Which is what I did to shut him up. Good kid though, just wanted to have fun. Dinner dissolves and everyone spreads out around the house. I make the rounds of chit chat, the rounds of beer, port, and espressos. We start exchanging gifts and I start to feel weird. There is a strange vibe this year. It truly did not feel like Christmas. Nobody was as festive as they usually are. People are quiet, definitely sober and out of it. Its almost like people are there because they HAVE to be, not because they want to be. Its wrong. A lot of things happened to family members this year for the worst, so a festive spirit was lacking, and that definitely added to the vibe. Well, we made the best of it, and I called it an early nite, and left with my folks after they showed up there after mass.

We headed home and had our private Christmas. We assaulted the chocolate horn o' plenty that my folks won at the casino in November. Damn thing is huge. My folks are still eating it, and will be for another month.

I head to bed and send out a text to everyone saying Merry Christmas. Funny how you learn who is close to you by who responds and who doesn't, and those that actually question why you even texted them in the first place. Just adds to the strange Christmas.

Gulliver's travels Part 1

Sorry guys, the holiday travel clusterfuck had me all tied up for a while. I know I have a lot to update you all on, so I'll try to get it all in as fast as possible. Part one eh? Yep, gotta cover some ground and I don't want y'all to read a 200 page novel at once, so I'll give you installments ( honestly, I'm just too lazy to type it all down in one sitting).

First off, I hope everybody got their fill of the Christmas season and are ready to start off the new year. Some of us had good years and bad years, but we're all still here (for the most part) and we should be thankful for that.

Anyways, not that you care, but...I get off of work on Friday Dec 22 at 3am. I gotta jet home to finish packing, take a 2 hr disco nap and then drive to the airport to fly home to SF. No biggie, I get my nap and a quick shower and then head out to the airport.

This is where I knew that Christmas this year was gonna be a little crappy. My flight was at 11 am, so I figured I'd give myself extra time to park and check in with all the holiday mess. What i should have done is gotten off work at 3 am, showered, packed the truck and driven to California. The 11 hour drive would have gotten me there faster than this day was turning out to be.

Strike 1-

I pull into my usual Sky Harbor Airport parking economy lot to leave my ride there for 5 days. I've used these guys for a few years and have had good business with them. They changed ownership, but not their name earlier this year, and things started to slip. Then today happened and I will never use them again. At 8am, I pull up to the front gate and see a sign saying "reservations ONLY!" You're kidding me. Well, screw you guys too! What idiot decides to loose business by not filling in spots because you don't have a reservation to park there. Now I'm stuck having to go park at the airport economy lot. No biggie, its only a dollar more. So I thought. I get in and find that all the lot parking is taken, so now I have to park in the garage which charges a whopping $10 a day to park. Mannn....

I get to the airport, and start my way through the 45 minute line to check in. I finally get to the kiosk and start my way through it. No problem. All I have to do now is wait for the attendant to grab my tag and bag and say bye.

Strike 2-Waiting...waiting...finally Pablo comes over and discovers that something is wrong with the printer. Ok Pablo, send it to a backup printer. Along with the other 10 slips you messed up on. 20 more minutes waiting for Pablo to do something that his superior did in 30 seconds once he finally bowed down to ask her for help. Idiot, go away you bother me.

I head up to the security mess.

25 minutes meandering through the security line and I finally get to the front. Along the way you are confronted by a plethora of security warnings and instructions for liquids on planes. People usually get it by the second sign to get their shit done. Well, at the scanner machine, there is a lovely family of Latinos. Who don't speak English. Let alone read English, but live in the US with US IDs, yadda yadda yadda...that language barrier pet peeve of mine is saved for another blog.

She puts a lot of loose liquids through the scanner and causes a 10 minute delay. The attendant reams her a new one, but she responds with "que??" Fuck this. Finally I go through, 10 seconds tops. See how easy that was?

Fine, I'm running late now, and my plane should be boarding. I get to the gate. No boarding. No sign. No plane. Great! Apparently, in Arizona weather history, the airport is shutdown on days when its 133 outside and the ground is too hot. Not too cold right. An inverted fog front as well as freezing rain came last night, so that delayed everyone. My plane is sitting in Tuscon due to them being unable to land in said conditions. Whatever. Hour delay tops. Hour goes by, re-delayed another hour. Hour goes by, re-delayed 3 hours. Dude!!! I could have walked there by now! I meander around the airport for 5 hours, have a beer, a snack, read a book, stare at assorted holiday ass walking by, nap. I thought I had it bad, a plane to Seattle got cancelled and another plane scheduled to go to Guadalajara was super delayed because they had to "de-ice" the Phoenix plane. Ice? In Phoenix?

Damn. Finally, I get aboard my flight at 330. I get into San Jose at 450, get bags, meet parents, get the hell out of that place.

I am so going to hell for this

I swear by all things holy that I'm probably going straight to hell for this. I say I swear by all things holy because I can, at least now I can. As of 6:30 am Eastern time, Saturday December 30th, 2006, through the Universal Life Church, Marc Alfred Demelo became an ordained minister. God help us all.

Worse yet, wait until I get my church up and running. It will probably involve things similar to a circus tent, a nudie store, a hole in the wall bar and college co-eds, but its all forgiven, and so are all of you now...bunch of freggin sinners! At least now I can do weddings and the like. I get my certification in the mail soon so I can frame it.

Guess I really can't say gawddam and holy jeeesee anymore huh. Nuts.

God Bless ya!

Peace out.

Time for a 3 hour nap and then I'm leaving on a jet plane for the holidays back home in Cali. Peac out all you mo'fos!! Have a merry Christmas and I'll see y'all in a week with plenty more updates...

Laters!

OMG! Can I kick it old school??

Holy doodie drawls batman! OK, back when I first got my Ipod about half a year ago, I uploaded all my songs on my computer, then took all of my Cd's and transferred them to my computer, then to Ipod. I though my music library was complete. I forgot something, or somethings I should say. Something that I think only my generation would remember using. Tapes bitch. Remember poppin in a tape in your Alpine mos' def tape deck in your 84 Honda Civic? Only thing that sucked was if you wanted to get to a certain song, you had to manually fish for it by rewinding or fast forwarding to said track. Usually you missed it and had to backtrack.

Anyways, I went through my bowels of the entertainment center and found cases of my old tapes...LL Cool J, Bryan Adams, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Floyd, Public Enemy and other crap that I had before the advent of Cd's. There were other tapes too man....Admit it fuckers...you had mix tapes. You know you did!!! You had the party mix tapes, the jam tapes, the rap mixes, the driving mixes, and yes, the "good lovin" smooth ass Rico Suave tape mix that you made specifically for those nights that you may just be gettin lucky. Fucking cheese man..Anyways, I went through most of them and tossed out all the mix tapes cuz now I'm up to speed with technology. I kept all the actual albums for future authentic value.

Man, I'm listening to LL Cool J's Walking with a panther album right now. Man this shit was back in Jr high and early high school. We'd pop in the tape at Dirty Ryan's casa and act all tough and thugged out. Lift some weights, spar and hang out all gangsta n shit...We'd go cruising around later on in life in high school and act all cool cruisin by in Ryan's Mom's Volvo as we head off to Chuck's donuts for a glazed.

And of course, LL Cool J's "I Need Love" song. Fucking super cheese!!!! I can't believe that I thought this song was scroggin worthy!! What do I do though?? During my crush on Jennifer Pitcher in Jr High, I copy the lyrics on a note and slip it in her locker. Later I find out that she hung out with the druggies and thugs in High school and fell off her pedestal. Crackwhore is probably having Pancho's 4th kid living in a trailer park. Snooze you loose beeatch!

Ah memories, the shit was classic...

It's good!!!

Finally, it's all said and done! And successful! The 9th annual holiday party went off without a hitch with a good time had by all. Total guests that appeared was about 40, with 32 attending at the same time. The food came out great, the drinks were flowing well, and no problems at all..well, a small one that was quickly taken care of-it wouldn't be a Demelo party without SOME form of BS drama. It even ended quickly, as opposed to the past parties that have lingered on to 4 in the morning. I was actually half cleaned up and in bed at 1:59-last call!!! believe me I slept like a fucking rock. Not too much leftovers either. Ironically, of the couple hundred dollars in booze I bought for the party, with guests bringing gifts, I ended the party with more booze than I started-bonus!!! I'll have to throw another party to get rid of it all.

Well, all the stress of the week before was well worth it to see smiling faces and full stomachs. Thank you for all of you that attended, because even with all the good food n stuff at the party, its the guests that make it memorable. I do this thing for you guys every year, so thank you for coming.

Thank you to my cousin Tina and hubby Jeff, and good friends Crystal and Chris for helping out in the days before and the day of. You all were lifesavers for my sanity.

Here's to all of you for making this party a memorable one! I wish you all the warmest of the Christmas holiday wishes, good health,wealth, and for all of us to be here next year again for the big number 10!!! 10 years running, you know 2007's bash is gonna be big.

Mahalo to you all!!!!!!

Marc

D-Day

T's crossed, I's dotted and HE-double hockey sticks, all I have left is to do final day off cooking, host a party and pray. I'm gonna be glad when this is over and I can breathe again.
I'm going to go rip my hair out now and go to bed to toss and turn for 8 hours before my final 12 hours of hell begin.
Peace out party goers.

Dec 7th 1941

65 years ago, Dec 7th, 1941. Please remember those who lost their lives that peaceful day in Hawaii when we were forced into WWII.

God bless them all.

As if I'm not stressed out enough

I'm smack in the middle of my hell week, with the worst of it still to come. Hanging Christmas lights, decorating, re-arranging the house, prepping and pre-prepping, cleaning, stocking, baking, cooking, freezing, more cleaning, running errands, yardwork, the usual household chores and of course, my job. That's just the past 3 days too. I've been putting in my usual hours at work, plus another 5-8 hours of work a day at home, so it's no wonder that I'm a little stressed. I won't be able to relax until about 11pm Sunday night when shit is all done and I can enjoy a few cocktails with all of y'all. I have to go and pick my cuz and her husband up at the airport today for their trip out here for a few days, which will be a welcome visit, not just because they are family, but they will be able to help out when needed.

You figure that with all this stuff going on that the last thing I need is to have more drama get kicked down my way. Well I got some today. I can't go into details about the drama, but I will say this. I invite who I want to invite. I don't know of some people's personal pasts in relation to other guests, and honestly, I'd like to keep it that way. It's none of my fucking business. But when peeps have potential drama with other peeps, keep it on the DL, because I won't stand for drama here. I'll smack the shit out of y'all if you cause a problem in front of 40+ guests and neighbors, in my house, after I've busted my ass for over a month and well over a thousand bucks to do this. Don't bring it here...period. I won't be babysitting at my own fucking party.

That's all I have to say.

Oh! And, it's supposed to get down to 40 degrees at nite Sunday, bring a sweater or jacket.

RSVP

Today is the holiday party RSVP day! A good portion of you all did RSVP for the dinner portion of the event within good time! Thank you! As for the rest of the invitees, you are still welcome, but I cannot guarantee that there will be leftovers waiting for you opon arrival. Grab some burger king and come by for cocktails after ten.

RSVP'd for Dec 10th- (42 confirmed)

Dianna + 1, Laura, Misty +1, Bret, Mike +1, Fish, Nancy, Bill, Chris, Crystal, Drea, Ben, Matt +1, Ryan +1, Jen, Beth, Hilary, Arron +3, Skip, Gary & Sabina +1, Neil, Brian +1, Erin & Susan, Tina & Jeff, Paul +1, Beccah, Jason & Kristen.

Possible for later-mystery guests ( 35 )

Eris & Susan, Bruce and Laurie, Greg & Wendy, Mort & Claire, Vance & Lindsay, Kansas, Buddy, Smitty (token black guy!), Greg, Cobbler-Man, Jen & Trish, Doug, Whitney, Big E, Axl, Whitney S, T-Bone & Katie, Chef Mike & Rebecca, Jen & Mindy, Wade, Chuey, plus maybe 5 I may have missed.

This is slated to be the biggest turnout yet aside from the first time 9 years ago! I had no leftovers that time and I hope for the same this time around. People have been busy asking me if they can bring or do anything, and my answer is this- We (or a party in general) could always use extra ice,beer, firewood, hot (preferably nekkid) bitches or whatever you may think as fitting (except for food! There will be enough here!!!)

Gratzi!!!

I'll keep you posted up until gameday!

Fortnight

1)A fortnight is a unit of time equal to two weeks: that is 14 days, or literally 14 nights. The term is common in the British Isles and many Commonwealth countries, but rarely used in the United States. It derives from the Old English feowertiene niht, meaning "fourteen nights".
2)The standard period of time before Mr. Demelo's holiday party when the stresses build, plans come together and stuff starts getting done in a crazy, caffeine induced fit while juggling work, friends and finances that culminates in one crazy night.

Also see- Arrrrghhh!, I'm losing my mind, human stress levels, caffeine fits, perfectionist.

Sidenote- post fortnight- approximately 10:32 pm, Dec 10th 2006, when Mr. Demelo can finally relax, breathe again and get boldly trashed.

1 fortnight = 2 sennights (or two weeks)
1 fortnight = 336 hours
1 fortnight = 20,160 minutes
1 fortnight = 1,209,600 seconds