Well gee...that was stupid

Usually my drunken debauchery culminates in me humping random objects, peeing in public, overeating chicken wings and off key singing. I guess I raised the bar a bit last night. Chris and I were at the house drinking around dinnertime. I cooked a few items on the grill, and after we decided to walk up to Saltys for a few drinks. It was pretty slow and we decided to split after a little bit. We walked back down and hit Fox and Hound. We got a few more cocktails and ordered up some wings and cheese sticks. We left and started to walk home. That's where my drunken genius kicked in. In front of Kohl's there was a shopping cart in the parking lot. I hopped in and asked Chris to give me a ride across the parking lot. No problem. It was actually a fun ride. Towards the end of the lot though, Chris decided to speed up and push me into a curb in front of a fire hydrant. His idea was that the curb would stop me and I'd get out. Well, the plan worked, too good. Cart hits curb, cart stops, passenger keeps going. I spill out of the cart, bashing and lacerating myself on the way out to the rock below. I ended up with a bruised chest, bruised left forearm, scraped right elbow, nicked left knee, and a very badly mangled and sliced open right knee in 4 places. Disinfecting that one was really enjoyable.

The good thing is that where it got all cut up already had scar tissue all about it, so its not that its going to start looking ugly after it heals. The bad thing is that since it is on a moving joint, it hurts like a mother when I move it.

Today is fun day then, a bashed body and a hangover. Stupid.

Question 2 in multiparts

Say there was a woman who was your ideal type physcially.
Now, the catch is this woman is essentially YOU. She has exactly the same personality. She likes the same things, dislikes the same things, has exactly the same hobbies and interests as you. What irks her, what gives her ecstacy, the way she would react to any given situation is exacly the same as you. So basically she is the female version of you, but looks nothing like you; remember, whatever your dream girl may look like, that's what she looks like. Here are some questions to consider based on this scenario:


1. Would you want to be with this girl as a lifepartner? Why or why not?

Answer> In a nutshell, no. I know that I am not the easiest person to get along with, and even some of my own flaws annoy me, disturb me or turn me off. Why would I want to find that in someone else? It may be an interesting trip for the first few times seeing that we are one in the same, but then the annoyances would be overwhelming.

2. What would bug you about her. What would you love about her?

Answer>(yes I know where you are going with this series-in that I am making my pros and cons evident to myself) A good handful of personal habits would bother me. I know they are there. Laziness would be a problem. Not being vocal enough. Not showing enough affection. Lack of confronting issues.

I'd love the famly aspect of her. Her love of cooking. Having an analy clean house, and her responsibility with money. Her artistic talents. Her sense of humor, sexual desires, personal politics. The love of travel, the ocean, the outdoors.

3. What are some difficulties you would have in your relationship?

Answer> Being in a similar situation as I am now. If I am having enough trouble searching my own self, why would I want to be with someone that is having the same dilemma? Definately a lack of communication. Lethargy would be a problem, as well as getting comfortable in a relationship.


4. If you chose her to be your lifelong partner, what would you want for her? And on the other hand, what would you want to protect her from?

Answer> Well, if this person is like me now, I already stated that I wouldnt see her as a lifepartner, but for the sake of arguement- I'd want a happy life with a stable family. I'd want to not have her worry about whether or not we could afford something. I'd want to be able to give her the opportunity to experience the world.
As for protection- I'd keep her away from drug use obviously, as well as real risky endeavors whether it be personal, emotional, or financial unless absolutely necessary. I'd prevent her family from dissipating or causing distress.


5.Do you think she would like you? What would she love/hate about you. What would her first impression be of you?

Answer> If she is me and I am her, then I would think the logical answer would be that she would think the exact same things as I am here. I think first impressions would be of a cautious and shy person that eventualy opens up. That I am freugal most of the time but still knows how to splurge now and then. Emotionally I usually can't be read or understood due to my introvertiveness.

6.Would this relationship work out in the end?

Answer> If I were to date "myself" now, I don't think it would. Granted if things change, and I am sure that some can and will in time, then I may be able to say that I could "live with myself".
I can expect anybody that dates me to be in a constant guessing game with me. What am I thinking, doing, feeling. I am not the type of person to easily and openly share those things. I couldn't say why, I just am not. I think that while dating myself wouldn't necessarily work over the long term, my loyalties to good friends would prevail on that level. It may work out something like that, unless things are different with me later on.

Die Hard 5

Newswire-

Osaka, Japan

Hollywood insiders said today that the next sequel to the blockbuster "Die Hard" series will start filming this summer in Japan. Mr Bruce Willis however will pass the reigns of Detective John McClaine onto another younger actor. Newbie to the film scene, Ryan "Dirty" Davenport will don the trademark shoulder holster and portray the tough New York cop. Sources tell us that the story involves an overseas connection to the Japanese Yakuza mafia and will be shot in both New York and Japan. The expected release date for the next in the series is slated for May of 2009.

Yeah, the 8 buck deaf guy haircut doesn't look bad, in fact it makes you look like a badass Dirty...stick with it.

question 1

How powerful is the “miracle question?”For those of you not familiar with the miracle question, it’s one of the key techniques used by solution-focused coaches and counsellors.

There are many ways to phrase it but essentially it goes like this:Let’s say something miraculous happens when you are sleeping tonight and the problem we’ve been speaking about (new job/new partner/more happiness/etc) is gone. Now you wake up and since you’ve been asleep you don’t know that a miracle has happened but there’s a knock on your door. You open it and there is your best friend/your sister or brother/your boss and he/she comes into your place. As someone who knows you well, how would they know that something has changed?What would they see or hear or touch that would be different?

Answer-

I think that the question is a decent one, but there are so many variants to answer to. AS to the "problem" at hand, whether it is finding ones self, a new job, family, personal happiness, etc.

If finding ones self is the solution, how does one go about describing ones self after finding ones self if you don't know what finding ones self entails? I think no matter what the problem is, a generalized answer to what I would be like would make the most sense.

I'd be happy for one. I'd have a very relaxed persona, a gentler face and expressions and a seemingly ease of going about things on a daily basis, whether it be opening the door to greet a guest to going shopping to doing physical labors.

I'd feel and appear healthier, rested and relieved, happy to wake up to a new day every day no matter what I had planned that day.

My conversations wouldn't center on rants or complaints or worries.

I'd be more happy and thankful for what I have as opposed to worrying about making my ends meet with whatever work I have.

I'd be laughing more and not seemingly confused or worrisome as much. I also don't think I'd drink as much anymore. Not that I drink to escape anything, I just find it enjoyable, and if my entire life was more enjoyable, I'd be able to rely on other things besides that vice to feel the same.

I'd generally be a better person to be around and people would be more open to hanging out with me to do things, even if its just to do nothing but sit around.

As for people seeing and touching my physical environment, I was never too too big on bragging about personal property, and I live comfortable enough within my means that people wouldn't notice anything really different around my surroundings. There may be more items of family importance and items that would instill play and enjoyment, but nothing fancy.

101000j29b019

20 questions about finding a penguin

I've seemingly taken on a task that has daunted every person's life on this earth, past or present. The quest to try and find one's self. I've gotten advice from all sides, from my parents, girlfriend, accquaintances, childhood friends and best friends. The advice hit on different angles ranging from stopping to think so hard and let go, to finding a test to do on your own, to accepting the fact of that's who you are and living with it instead of changing it to find yourself to the ever vague and ubiquitous just do what makes you happy.

All is good advice and each had valid arguments. Even thousands of miles away Dirty was philosophising that even the most inconceivable and minuscule occurrences could have contributed to what has or will or would have happened in your life to make the person you see in the mirror every day.

An individual pocket sized chaos theory if you will. That nickle you barely missed seeing in the gutter as you walked home from from school when you were 8 could have gotten you a gumball, but instead found its way into another kids piggy bank, which then found its way to a college fund, then to an IRA account and will be used to buy a pen that will write a hundred thousand dollar check for a new home.

What I found myself laughing to myself a bit today was that I heard a piece of valid advice from a children's movie about surfing penguins we watched a few days ago.

That being that we all have to find our own way.

Either I'm going insane by ignoring valid advice from loved ones and listening to a cartoon penguin surfer with a California accent or I've been blind to guidance lately.

So, I sparked a interesting help to myself project a day ago, by sending out emails to roughly about 20 people I consider close to me asking them to ask me a question about myself to answer to myself. My thinking is that by doing a self assessment assignment on myself, maybe I can start to answer questions to myself that I had not previously known or thought about. As of today, only one person has returned with a question for me. I'm waiting for a few more before I start tackling them.

I'm hoping that at the very least, I can use it as a medium to look internally at myself and possibly as a touchstone for understanding the penguin surfing creed.

AWOL

Yes, I've been dissapeared for a while without posting. Haven't felt like writing much as of late.

California was good, and I may be headed back in a few weeks for a few days. Some things have shown development while others are stagnant. I'll hopefully will be posting some more insightful information here soon.

I hope everyone is well & I will see you all soon.

munch munch munch

I have a big annoying hypocritical pet peeve. Now I say hypocritical because I have not been immune to certain related gastronomical acts that may make a average person feel disgusted. I've sat and eaten a pint of Ben & Jerry's and then started on a second one. I've gotten into a pizza eating competition between myself and one other dude wherein we tackled 2 little Caesars pizzas each. I'll make a full meal in the middle of the night. I've stuffed a whole hamburger in my mouth before. I started a candy collecting competition with dirty Ryan for the sheer sake of collecting as much candy s possible in a set timeframe, afterwards to eat ourselves sick.I eat my meals incredibly fast, so fast in fact that I once set a personal record for eating 6 taco bell items in less than 3 minutes...on several different occasions.
Yet out of all this, I am disgusted at the existence of the open mouth chewer. Whats worse is that the open mouth chewer dude is my Dad.
Sometimes its so bad that I lose my appetite. The nonstop shoveling of forkfuls into an orifice that still has unswallowed bites in it. The visual references of mashed up meat and vegetable bits rolling around in open air. Whats worse though, is his incessant smacking. A ever present wet "mack,mack,mack...squack, mack" permeates the dinner table. Worse yet, an occasional unidentifiable food flake sometimes flies out of the mouth and onto the table.
I suppose we have our own flaws in regards to the culinary world of gastronomical oddities, but his didn't really surface until about 6 years ago. That or I never really paid attention to his eating style. I'm going to guess also that at his age, the "I don't give a fuck" age as I call it, he shouldn't care. On the bright side, I'm happy that he can enjoy his meals now since over the past 5 years, his past cancer treatments has massively wrecked his GI tract and had limited what he could eat. Now he can enjoy himself again.

Missing in action

So I've been gone for a while. Eat me. Those that I actually consider to be friends have either called, emailed or at least texted me to see whats up. Screw the rest of you, I have no time for fickle brown nosing or wannabe friend crap. Those of you in the know, you know whats been up.
As for today, here's how my nice relaxing day went.
I woke up on a cozy Monday morning. April 7th 2008 at 9:45 am to partly cloudy California skies. It was just chilly enough to want to stay in bed, but I was rested enough that I felt like getting up.
I got up, had breakfast with Dad and then worked in the garden with him for a few hours.
I had lunch, did laundry, checked my finances online.
I took a nice slow walk, walked down to the park and laid in the grass under a large ash tree and took a long daydream capnap with my iPod on.
I walked home, picking some fruit off some trees on the way.
I got home, prepped food for dinner, and then baked 2 loaves of oatmeal banana nut bread and a few dozen oatmeal raisin cookies before a hearty fish dinner with bean salad.
I relaxed on the couch afterwards, wrote this and then more than likely went to bed.
It sucks to be you.