Cold goodbyes

Today was my last full day in the RWC before I fly back to reality and my job (a place I call Phoenix) at noon on Friday.

It was a quiet day today. No cold wind freezing your face, instead a calm and lethargic chill. The clouds had moved in, and the sky was a offshore grey, as if we were someone's pet bird who's owner had tossed over a blanket on our cage to quell us. Nothing was really active, winter had officially arrived and things were hunkered down for the season.

I got up surprisingly early at 9, before my parents, which is a complete anomaly, and started to make breakfast. I made a hearty egg scramble for dad and I before getting on the cell and calling my bank card company to resolve a miss cashed check. They said that it would be fixed, but I have yet to see the results...I guess I'll wait a full business day to see.

After that, Dad and I took a long walk and ended up going though my old high school. We were so wound up talking bout some family history, his health and relatives long gone that I pretty much failed to look around at my old, but changed surroundings.

We stopped once more at my Godfathers house, talked to my Godmother for a few and then picked up my old computer which my Godfather fixed for my parents to use. I suppose I failed to see the true logistics of hand carrying a 40 lb, awkward shaped CPU cased unit on foot, at a slow pace for my father, for over 1 1/2 miles. I managed, without having to stop, to lug it back home. It was easy after the first 3/4 mile as in I ceased to feel pain in my arms and fingers to to them going numb.

My Godfather did a great job, and it worked better than before. It was just a matter of trying to hookup Internet access.

Around 3 I drove to Fry's electronics in Palo Alto to look for essential parts.

Picked up essential parts.

Installed parts.

One part no work.

Drive back to Fry's after dinner.

Return parts, buy new ones.

Install new parts.

Parts work, but still no Internet.

4 hours of work with no results.

Marc says hell with it, and will fix when in town next time. Until then, my Godfather and Dad can tinker with it and try to fix it. I think I'm just missing a router.

To add to it, on the way home (the second time), it started to rain. I honestly didn't care, because it started to rain after I got in my car from picking up a bag of Chuck's donuts.

There really is 2 things in this world I really love. Chuck, and his goddamn donuts. Plain glazed of course, but his other flavors are quite orgasmic. Blissful enough that when I die, I want to be re-incarnated as a donut from Chuck, because its as close to Heaven as I can imagine.

Well, that and being a Chuck's donut on a solitary beach in Hawaii at sunset...with 100 nekkid supermodels...now I'm fantasising.

The slow rain came, soaking everything. I spent the rest of the night quietly in the living room with Mom and Dad watching some oddball movie til we all went to bed around 11.

I laid in bed with a long forgotten comfort from the past, a slow rain draining off the roof, and down the metal gutter, resounding as a natural metronome, drop by drop,

dunk..dunk..dunk..dunk..dunk..dunk..dunk.....

Godspeed- a prosperous journey

A few pictures from the past day and a half, the rest will be on shutterfly once I arrive back in PHX. You can click on the pictures to zoom.





















Bounty Hunter and Bite Me
Pillar Point Harbor
Half Moon Bay 12/07

























Pulgas Temple
12/07


































"American Watershed"
Al and Irene, Pulgas Water Temple
12/07































Cold Rose

Red Morton Park Rose Garden
12/07





























Bottlebrush wheatgrass
John Gill School
12/07

Crazy chickens and frozen souls

Christmastime back home always has a special place in my heart that I consistently look forward to every year, this year was no different. It felt good to be home, like a very fuzzy warm blanket on a cold night, and here, literally, I needed warm blankets.
Christmas eve was a late night's start for me. We had a ham fiasco for dinner, whether it was an old pig or stubborn oven, a small ham which should have taken a little less than 2 hours took close to 3, with some minor charring of sugary glaze on the oven walls. Nevertheless still tasty.
I headed down to my Godfathers house later than usual, making sure I didn't show up during their dinner. The mood was subdued. Still somewhat happy and pleased that we were all around eachother, but it felt as if something was missing. I still had a good time and left with a smile on my face from memories of Tina's crazy chicken dog toy tirade.























Christmas Day we slept in, and then had a good breakfast. My folks went to church and I relaxed on the couch with the laptop. Around 3 we headed across the bay to my uncle Frank's house for Christmas Day dinner. There was a lot of really good foods, best of which was the smoked turkey and bachalaiu (bach-I'll-oww) bread bowl-a salted codfish & bean mix in a bread bowl.
We ate and drank, a lot...My uncles and I mostly, bottles of red wine and scotches. With the food though, I only had a slight buzz. Regardless, I made Dad drive home to be safe.
We still had the typical drama with my grandma and P.O.S. uncle which sparked stressed heated talk at the dinnertable, but it was expected unfortunately, and we did change the topic quickly.
It was an early night and we all slept well.

Today, the 26th was a relaxed day. My father and I took a long walk early in the morning and talked about his past a bit while walking towards my godfather's house. We stopped by on his day off to see if anything was planned for a family dinner. Later on that day we decided to postpone it until the next day.
After our walk, we got home and drove to Half Moon Bay to pick up some pigeon feed and to get some chowder and calamari at our restaurant near the docks. It was clear skies, but cold and windy. The wind chill dropped the temps into the 40's.
























A light and tasty lunch later, we headed home. I went on a walk a few hours ago and decided to take a bunch of pictures along the way like I usually do. It was 3 pm and brutally cold. Long pants, underarmour thermal top, fleece, gloves and a ski cap and I was still frozen. The wind chill came and slapped me in the face like a hard studded leather glove from a pissed off southern gentleman. I still marched on through my old schools and parks, memory lanes and nostalgic streets, sucking on sweet and sour clover flower stems as I did as a child,taking pictures of places and plants in the frigid December air that I long to live in once again.

2007: Trying to find balance

I guess the theme for the entire year of 2007 was trying to find balance. Balance with my job, body, mind and sanity. I pretty much failed on all fronts. Not that I consider it all a loss, just experience en route to finding the right way to such balance.

I figure what I needed, or in fact need is to basically test my mettle on all those aspects, to see what I am made of; whether I can adapt myself as a man, or crumble under times of challenge. I fully anticipate to be tested in 2008, mostly by choice, but some things may come unannounced to my doorstep.

Finances: 8.7 - + 0.2

A slight increase over last years. I was able to continue saving into various accounts and further plunged into investments. I even can say that this year I "diversified" my money into other options...that is my middle management word of the day...diversified.

The US stock market and housing slide continued, so while I am still in the black in stocks, and own more, the value in net is the same as the beginning of the year. As per the usual behavior, the 4th quarter usually takes a up and down ride for investors.

Work:5 - -4.0

Yes, a four point drop. Why? In part of my vision of challenging myself, I've realized that I've been working in the same industry for over 10 years. Almost 4 at my current job. It's a dead zone of stagnant repetition. The same faces over and over again that I saw 10 years ago, just now emblazoned on a new generation. The pay is stable, but there is no space to advance. I've had this painful bump on my head that I just now found out how I got it-I've been rammin my head against a glass ceiling for 5 years and have concussed myself into comfortable submission.

Change needs to happen. The ideas of opening up my own place are off the backburner and are just getting cold on the counter now.

I have a few options open for working at various distributors in the next few months and all I need to do is jump to take it.

Another option is to get my real estate license and go into that sector. Too bad the real estate market is crap now.

The prospect of property ownership to is flaky at best due to the junky market. Sellers refuse to negotiate and prices are set too high from when they bought in high cap markets and are trying to not get a loss.

They say that people change careers about every 10 years, well, its about time.

Social Life 6 - -2.0

Down 2, because of lack of going out as much and staying at home more. The friends that I do and would go out with usually work on the nights I don't. The exception is Doug, which has been a pretty reliable constant, off Tuesdays and Thursdays. We've had a good amount of debauchery this year, maybe more next year. I've lost touch with a few friends, and lost a couple all together. On the plus side, I've gained a sparse few new good ones in Kristin, Jon & Anala. I have been spending a lot more time on self reflection and Independence anyways. I've always liked alone time and if I get too lonely or depressed I usually sleep or go out with whoever is out too.

And dag gummit...the trizan was permanently altered and Vegas bookies are screamin at the odds that Dirty Ryan got married first...I still think a tiny island property in hell froze over that day.

Love Life 7.5 - ~

No change from last year and I'm not going to post that personal stuff here anymore anyway.

Spirituality 3.5 - +0.5

There really isn't much change over the current year. I have questioned my place in the world a bit more, which ties in to the challenging myself idea. Thankfully no members of the family have died or close friends to challenge my personal beliefs. Not that my agnostic ass has many right now anyway. My personal belief in heaven would be to find a place wherein I can have no stress or commitments and be happy and one with my soul..which as of late has been quite lost.

Family 8.5 - +0.5

Its a very comfortable feeling to say that there were no deaths, major illness, divorces, financial troubles or stresses in the family this year. Tina and Jeff were on the move a lot, but seemed to have luck settling down back in Cali. My cousin Sara got engaged. I got to throw a huge 70th birthday party for mom in July and had a blast doing it. I saw my parents more and got to be closer to them through talks and actually going out to social and cultural events ( even though I pushed it on dad...the stubborn bull ended up liking them anyways). I made a decision and a push to make an attempt to move back home. So far it's still looking like 1-2 years out, and it could change in an instant depending on health and financials. All in all, the desert is lonely and my family is not getting any younger. Speaking of, Miss Jenny Jones is officially 50 as of last month (people years), and while she still acts and moves like a 2 year old, the grey hairs prove otherwise.

Health 6.0 - -0.5

Laziness, stubbornness and not caring to much. A lot of the same as last year. I've gained and lost. I worked out for a bit, stopped. I ate good, then bad. I stopped some bad habits and then regressed a few times. The underlying thought is still there-a lack of motivation. I have no real desire to get going on things. I still feel strong, but I'm still tired all the time and really like to sleep a lot.

I got West Nile ( or at least am 90% sure of it) this year and was out of commission for a week. That was NOT fun. I guess I still have a kick ass immune system because of the handful of colds I had, I knocked them out in less than 3 days with minor symptoms, but this whooped my ass. The same sickness put my boss in the hospital for a week a week after I got it.

I turned 31 this year and am officially in my thirties.

Overall 6.45 - -0.80

Down almost a point from last year. A few minor gains and a major loss in my job life. I may be a little alarmed at the changes in the negative directions, but I can promise you one thing, that the results 12 months from now should be even more cause for thought. The thing is, with what I have planned, I don't know if the weights will slide drastically in the positive or negative directions. I have things lined up, and when I'm willing to share them with you, I will. Til then, have a good 2008.

Wheres the beef?

Quick joke-
What do you call a bull masturbating?

Beef Stroganoff....

old guys packing walnuts

Ok, this made my day, up until the checkout process...Amidst my errands today on my day off, i headed to WalMart to pick up some essentials. Upon my arrival, I met the coolest old dude ever...hands down....like, you would deserve a smack if you tried to challenge it..
The play by play....
I park on the south side and enter through the less crowded garden entrance. I arrive at the door, grab a cart and say hi and nod to the old greeter dude there.
I'm walking past him and he stops me short...like literally gets his 74 year old body in front of mine and halts me..
"See that lady over there ducking past the trees across the street?? Damn she has a nice backside."
I was caught off guard. I spin around to try and make sense of his potential gibberish and spy a future soccer mom in skin tight black pants 300 feet away.
"That is nice...can you buy that in here?
"No, I don't think so..."
"I'll tell you what, I can't buy any, but if I find out where they sell that, I'll come back and tell you so you can go get one"
"Yeeah, ok, I tell you though, I may be real old, but I know what looks good."
"I hear you, it doesn't matter how old you are, as long as you can still perform."
He chuckles, "I guess so, you're right there."
He then grabs hold of my arm and pulls in closer, " You know, I still pack some walnuts..."
I laughed my ass off and walked into the store....
If only every greeter there was as cool as that guy...

Mr Invisibl ...

In Mission Impossible 2, the opening scene is a brown locked Tom Cruise free climbing up the face of a god awful impossible overhanging desert cliff. As if being a super-spy and saving the world wasn't enough, he felt like having a bigger challenge...for fun. Don't get me started...Jason Bourne would whoop his ass. Anyways, as the beginning credits start rolling, the Metallica song "I disappear" plays (once again, don't get me going...awful song for a sell out mainstream band)
Anyways, I can relate. I am here, but I have disappeared for the most part.
I work, I come home, I occasionally cook dinner, get tanked at home once a week, passout, repeat.
Outside of that, I've been Christmas shopping and shipping things out to Cali ahead of time as a pre-emptive strike for the holiday gatherings. Which is about a week out, and I am definitely looking forward to getting the puck out of here for a week.
Now, when I say Christmas shopping, I'm not necessarily excluding myself. In fact, for the first time, I've given more to myself than to others. Trust me, I still gave, but I liked the fact of spoiling myself after years of self-neglect.






















So, new laptop ( which directly ties into my future vision quest next year...more details later),
fully upgraded my old outdated ( and still reasonably outdated) desktop PC, new clothes, gadgets, toys, movies, appliances and what nots. Whats funny about it is that it all wouldn't be possible, along with the other Xmas gifts, if I had pulled the holiday party...which was scheduled to had been last weekend. No stress, no time pressure, more cash and a happier me.
Yes, I've had some local adventures here and there, not too much to write about, or to be any of your non-essential business.
I have some issues to develop and write about, but that is for another time.
Till next time, I'm still alive and breathing...and I disappear.....
*bink*