"Destiny" by zero 7

I lie awake I've gone to ground
I'm watching porn In my hotel dressing gown
Now I dream of you
But I still believe
There's only enough for one
in this Lonely hotel suite

The journey's long
And it feels so bad
I'm thinking back to the last day we had.
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart
we are each other's destiny

On a clear day
I'll fly home to you
I'm bending time getting back to you
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart
we are each other's destiny

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart
we are each other's destiny

I'll fly, I'll fly home I'll fly home and I'll fly home

2009 year in review

2009 was the Chinese year of the Ox. A year of work and stubbornness. Stubborn enough that the damn year didn't want to end despite everyone's wishes that it would. I honestly have yet to meet one person that did not want this year to end for whatever reasons.

If I had to classify 2009 in short, it simply sucked. Could it have been worse? Oh yes, by all means it could have, but it still sucked.

Finances- 7.5 up 1 from last year.

I don't really know why i am raising this one, but my stocks are up, so that helps. Have I saved more money this year? NO. Have I made more money this year? No. I say that they are up because things have gotten even more stable. I've even started seeing some returns on some investments for once. Not very large ones, but returns none the less. Its more so upwards because I don't seem to have a overhanging looming feeling of thinks tanking anymore, but I am still overly cautious with things. I have also made some large purchases for the first time in my life, besides good fitness equipment, a new vehicle. The loan will help establish my credit, which is good.

Work- 4 down 1 from last year.

I need a better job. There, I said it. As my friend puts it, "the margin just isn't there anymore". the money is the same, I still love my employers and most of my co-workers, but there is no change outside of that. I'm tired of having one week's schedule blending into the exact copy of the next, not having weekends off as do other people, and just not being in a good mood once I arrive to work. that's the biggest one. I'm just not happy being at work anymore. If I can't be happy, then I cant work effectively.Granted, most of that bad mood comes from working with idiots (if you haven't figured out, a pet peeve is I hate stupid people). I know, I'd get that at any job, but at least at somewhere else those people can be gotten rid of easier.

Social Life- 6 up 1.5

I still can't tell you when the last time i went out to downtown Scottsdale was, mostly because I'm not going to take a DUI on the chin. i could care less though. I have places in walking distance. My girlfriend and I have been making new friends, going to new places and have been having a good time with whoever is around. In addition, I have some new connections from work and thru the net, as well as being able to keep in touch with some family members a bit easier too. I can always get more acquaintances, so I'm not worried, but I'm content now.

Love Life- 8.5 up 1.5

I am seeing someone new. Things are good. Outside of that, its once again not really anyone's business.

Spirituality- 4 no change

I have had no changes on my stances with spirituality or church. I went to midnight mass at Christmas again with my parents and it felt good to be there. Not that I felt the presence of God in my life, but it was a positive and gentle social atmosphere where there was no kinds of hatred floating around. It is a well needed and welcome feeling while living in a world of go go go and FU.

Family-6.5 down 2

people are getting older. Some get further away. Some disappear and some pass away. This year is a bit down because our grandma passed away. She was the last of her generation and the final grandparent for our family. In the process at the funeral, we also "lost" one of her sons, my bastard uncle. we haven't heard from him since. There was a saying in the family before grandma died that when she does, he will be buried with her. So far, it has come true. he made a fiasco of the funeral and refused to attend the wake with the rest of his family. Even had the audacity to drum up some crocodile tears and then deny the family final words at the ceremony.

His children will have him pay for his mistakes, but that is far in the future.

Outside of that, my parents are getting older, are having trouble getting around and have a few lingering conditions harping them on a daily basis. No new marriages, no divorces, no new children. My parents and I were supposed to go to Hawaii, but i had to cancel the trip in March because of illness.

Health-4 down 1

This year has been a ravaging hell on my body. I did get a lot of grill work done this year. root canals, crowns, fillings. It was a lot of time and money (a reason why my finances are off), but worth it as first, I found a great dentist that I'm actually eager to go to finally and second, since junior high school-I have a good report card on my mouth from the doc. Now the rest of my body...ugh....first the tenosynovitis in my left arm, immediately followed by a crippling and scarring 3rd degree burn on my left leg left that side of my body worse for wear. Not only did all that affect my health score, but my work score, my financial score and a little of my spirituality as well. I'm still overweight, but I have dropped a couple pounds in the past weeks due to good eating. i had a nervous breakdown this year.I went to the doc to get screened for depression, but she said that my lack of motivation and malaise at times was due to boredom and possible testosterone imbalance. After the bloodwork was done, my testosterone was fine and she wanted me to get on happy pills. I ignored her requests and effectively told her off. I'll find some other way to get around this. As for now, I'm happy enough (as long as I'm not at work). :)

Total-5.71 down .04

Basically not much change. Some things went up, some went down. Either way, I expect this coming year to be a vast improvement over 2009. Hell, it already is. I had an awesome Christmas, the Cardinals are in the playoffs again, I've lost a couple of pounds and I am having fun again. I'm slated to travel to Denver next week for a weekend trip and later on in the year I have some other trips to go on to new places as well.

As well as potentially good things happening, as with things happening in 2009, I'm pessimistic enough to know that bad things do happen, and to not be surprised this year when they do. As with last year, if bad things do happen, I rolled with the punches and survived. it still sucked, but I didn't go anywhere, and I will continue to do so.