2012 review

This past year was one to be slated of unpredicted progress. In the Chinese calendar, it is my year, the year of the dragon. Symbolic of stability,strength and power. if you can believe a lot of that stuff. But for the most part, its not about having it be your "year", but gaining the inner strength and knowledge to make any year, or month or day to be what you make of it. some kind of progress needed to be made this year, in terms of anything or everything, or at the very least, set the groundwork for the next big step. Change needed to happen.At the same time however, i need to remind myself to not take life too seriously and to make time to enjoy things,places and the people that surround me that are worthwhile. To quote Ferris Beuller , "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop to look around once in a while, you might miss it."
2012 year in review-
Finances 7.0 - no change  I didn't really spend any more than years before, but I also didn't really save any either. The markets are in a state of flux, and skiddish at best. I've been trying to recover stock IPO's from last year and earlier this year as well as pulling what investments I have once they break even. There is no profit in the market this year, even with it being a election year. Finances are stagnant in general.
Work 2.5- down 2.5 I need out of this job. Just the sheer apathy,poor work ethics and drama in between co-workers is enough alone to leave, but its the lack of structure and managerial regulation that propagates the circus even more. Staff isn't regulated, duties are shirked or forgotten completely, punishment for inappropriate actions or behavior is absolutely non-existent. Somehow the business still makes money, but it boggles my mind to think of how much smoother,friendly and profitable the place would be with even a normal degree of workplace structure. I have been pushing hard to find new employment no only in this field, but to make other options for a career push in terms of craft beer being my passion, as well as keeping the option of a real estate venture open while the markets are still very low. I contemplate quitting work on a near daily basis, but I convince myself  not to just due to the fact that my bills are being paid with relative ease. I still need out however. This juice is starting to not be worth the squeeze.
Social Life 7.0  no change  i no longer associate with most of my friends that I considered to be my best friends here outside of Doug. I have written off and de-friended Chris and Jillian. Just for mainly the fact that not only myself, but others have made the efforts to try and spend time, to try and remain in contact and to try and keep a friendship going, but there has been no reciprocation from the other side.I do not want to waste any more of my time in people who don't make efforts to keep friendships healthy, let alone going. it wastes people's time and creates unnecessary stress and eventual disdain and spite. There are plenty of good people out there that I know that I consider true friends that i would rather spend time with, with good character,moralities and mindsets, and i am thankful that they are around. I have been meeting a lot of new connections thru my lady, some were just acquaintances of mine that became closer friends thru her, and some are all new all together. Either way, they are all good people and I am honored to know them, and create new bonds and spend new adventures along the way.
Love life 8.5- up 3.5  As you know my history about divulging details of my intimate love life on this site, i keep it under wraps as it's really not your business. I am dating someone new. Shannon and I have been together for about 10 months now. She is a great person with a great character, family , good morality and loves to live life to the fullest extent possible. I have a great love of her and I know that it is the same on her end ( even though I can be a pain 90% of the time). She is a great motivator and the most positive force I have ever encountered in my life (sorry dad and coach Mecchi, ousted..). She instills the will in me to accomplish goals in life or to get the ball rolling when needed. I am very grateful to have her with me.
Spirituality 5  no change   Nothing has changes from last year. i didn't find Jesus, I haven't started going to church regularly. I also haven't bursted into flames when I do walk into a church yet, so that's always a sign that I have a chance if the said higher power does exist. I have been mixed back and forth with the topic of fate and its counterpart of creating your own destiny. It may be a mixture of both where one starts and ties in the other or vice versa. Needless to say, i haven't seen any divine intervention going on. Oh, well the world is supposed to end on Dec 21, so maybe we will see if anything happens then. Besides, as I said last year, my old man likes to tell me that you don't need to be in a church to have faith or even chat with the man upstairs.
Family 7- no change
Everyone was healthy this year and we are all living along just fine. No major health issues. My cousin Sonia had a child. My cousin Chris is engaged (to yet another Shannon). kids are getting older and wiser. Richie is doing well in airborne training. The family is well, and that's always a good sign for things to come!
Health 8-up 1.5 I am up on this year due to a major weight loss. I have been able to drop and keep 30+ lbs off through a healthy diet and moderate fitness. I don't exercise as much as I should, but I have tried to tools to keep things going. I was able to accomplish 2 running events this year in the Pat Tillman run and the Mud run. I was able to finish both in a reasonable time, considering I am not, nor will ever be a runner.I would like to continue to drop a little more weight and get down to a stable 220, which I was in high school. I am very close, but its all about breaking that plateau people hit when trying to achieve fitness. That final 10 is a pain. I know that my clothes fit better, or are in fact too big to wear. My joint problems on my knees are pretty much gone due to a lighter load. I'm faster, feel better and look healthier.
I know I probably drink too much. I like to enjoy a social setting and have a good time with friends. I know I can't party on forever and its not good for me in the long term to continue on with these kinds of habits.Recovery from a fun night isn't as easy as it was 10 years ago, and it generally doesn't fit in with a weight loss program. Although i will not be giving it up completely in my life, I should strongly consider how much of an impact having a couple of cocktails influences my well being.
However, i have found a way to turn a potential negative into a positive. I have been actively pursuing a life passion in the art of homebrewing. i have fallen in love with the art of small craft beers. The intricacies of making the product is finally a tie in with a art career and reality that I had not previously considered. Its a creation, for all to enjoy, not just to let it sit on a wall and gain accredation long after you're dead. A constantly evolving and changing artform. I have been spending the past year making brew after brew at home. Some turned out good,some turned out bad,some turned out amazing.My eventual goal is to pursue a career in the currently booming field, in any aspect of it whether it be making it or selling it. I have a great start on knowledge of the artform and the intricacies of it that will bolster my resolve into finalizing a future.
Total 6.5- up 1.0 from 2011
I have had a big hit with my job situation being poor, but with my health and love life balancing out the mix, i feel that this year has been better than last. pieces are starting to fall into place. Its about starting to trim off the metaphorical fat and cancers that put areas of my life down. I am thankful I have positive people to be around. I have gone and seen new places, tried new things and met new people. That is the true spice of life. It puts a lot of the bullshit into perspective when you think of how lucky you are for the things that you have had happen in your life that let you enjoy it, whether it be big or small. All the rest of the potential bad stuff all passes by anyway. Don't waste your time with bullshit, it's not worth it. Whether it be work related,personal,financial or otherwise. I have a loving girlfriend,great family, good friends and the ability to fully enjoy life right now to the fullest. Next year i fully intend to do so, even moreso than this past year. Life does more pretty fast, it is important to stop and look around once in a while so you don't miss anything. See you in a positive 2013.

brewhaha

Whats new in the world of homebrewing and vinting? I currently have four items going on right now in the fermenters. First I have an American rye ale. Its a richer, fuller dark beer that is similar to its German bock and dunkel cousin. It has a hint of rye flavor, mild hops and a richer malt taste.
Secondly, I have a attempt at a chocolate bourbon vanilla bean porter. I bought the grain kit from whole foods way back in like February when they were clearing out their Christmas stock of at home beer kits by the Brooklyn brewing co. The kit was originally made to be a chocolate maple porter, and have it use maple syrup as its main sugar fermenting source. I don't really like how their kits were laid out, so I tweaked it by adding dark LME (liquid malt extract) and my own personal choices for hops and yeasts. The bourbon vanilla was a impulse buy addition. I was in Fresh and Easy the other day and happened by a 4oz bottle of bourbon vanilla extract in the spice aisle. "Bourbon" vanilla refers to the type of vanilla bean mind you.,..NOT actual bourbon. Though I am tempted to spike the batch with a little hint of jack daniels to add some punch to it before bottling...
Third, i have a Chilean sauvignon blanc. I picked the juice up with a gift certificate from wine expert after using their juices yet again last year to win a medal this past April  for  my voigner white wine. It's nice that wine expert takes care of the people that use their products on an usual basis. Plus, it promotes their products even further with support and recognition.The juice is fermenting very,very well so far. I did add elderflower to the wine, which should boost the flavor profile and add a little sweetness to what is usually a very dry style of wine.
Fourth is the mystery hooch. The grapes I stomped out from the backyard vines a month ago. Its a blush wine, and it fermented very fast and strong, even though its only one gallon. Its either going to be really watery and weak, or extremely strong and barely drinkable. I'm hoping for the latter....I can at least cut it with water to dampen it to make it drinkable...regardless, I'm not expecting much of anything from it outside of experimenting with my skills and tools.
As for future employment...I sent out requests for a possible internship, free mind you to a local brewery...but got no response. I also have a potential in with Miller brewing Co. and their World Class division, which centers on small batch, microbrew and craft beers. I was able to give my resume to our local beer rep in hopes of it getting passed on to the hiring powers that be. Its a unasked favor from her, and I'm deeply appreciative of it. i hope it works out soon.

self assessment....

Not for in fear of losing oneself, but for a general assessment of what and who I am. Call it a bit of soul searching, as a buddy of mine once said to me. As far as I acknowledge, this is who or what I am . I consider this a letter to myself. A reminder to myself as to who and what I am. Crazy people always talk to themself right? Or is that eccentric people?lol..
Marc is lazy and unmotivated at times. It is my biggest flaw. I have ideas of doing things, attempt to get things rolling, then stop. Not to discredit myself once I actually start doing something, because I do finish it, but the spark to get my ass going actively doing it usually lacks. Not to say that I don't enjoy being lazy for the sake of being lazy. Everyone needs that time to decompress and zone out at any given time less they go insane.
Marc is a great cook, planner and entertainer. I love being in a kitchen, whether cooking for myself, one other person, or twenty people. It is one of my places of zen. I can be creative, expressive and comfortable. Even when I'm appearing that I am running around crazy and frazzled...i am in total control. chill...
Marc is a horndog. Sexuality has always intrigued me. I took multiple classes in college that were not required of my program just for the sake of taking it. I enjoy the psychology of it, the physiology and social aspects of it. Plus the nature of the environment i work in, nurtures in the expressive side of it. I am comfortable with all aspects and encourage healthy discussions and or participations.  It will always be a part of my life, and I enjoy all of it. I will not be condemned or chastized for it.
Marc likes cold weather....i thrive in it. Apparently I moved to the wrong state. My favorite time of year is taking a walk in winter, all bundled up, with a slight drizzle in the air. The cold soothes my lungs and feels invigorating.
Marc is a water sign. I'm a scorpio (which also explains the horndog), and I am at home in the water. Once again, apparently I moved to the wrong state...I feel at peace in the ocean, whether I'm in it, sitting next to it, driving up the coast, or even flying over it. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to live much closer.
Marc has communication and expression issues. I have been getting better at things over the years, but I still lack in dealing with confrontations, negotiation, and speaking my mind. I tend to clam up easy and put up a wall. Its a manifestation of my childhood issues, i understand that being a shy lonely kid with severe social, mental and physical issues. But I have been making strides to improve, and am a lot better off than I was ten years ago.
Marc loves dogs and birds. Marc hates cats...i don't like them, they don't like me...that's that.
Marc likes to be clean and organized. A disgusting and disorderly house bothers me. I have a large house, with two dogs. Shit gets dirty, and I have to constantly maintain it. Living in filth is not good. Common sense y'all.
Marc probably drinks too much, but that's a matter of personal perspective. I'm a creature of vice, and alcohol is one. I enjoy it. I make it and hopefully want to produce it and sell it. I make good stuff. I've been in the industry for 16 years. I don't drink everyday, nor do i need to. But when I do enjoy it, I really do. I'm safe about it, no driving, usually at home or out with friends, so with older age comes wisdom. I also know that too much can directly effect my health and weight, so I need to be mindful of it. I'm no longer 22, im 35.I can't drink as much, nor recover as easy. Mornings after a good night suck now. Something to keep my eyes on, but I won't be giving anything up entirely from what I feel for the rest of my life.
Marc loves to travel and experience new things, historically,culturally and culinary wise. I cant stand hanging with people who don't enjoy the same. Youre boring...
Marc loves football. NfL...not really much college. Sunday mornings during  the NFL season, I'm always busy, enjoying time at home with friends, out watching the game, or at the game. I'm really Jonesing right now too being the off season...
Marc needs to make better efforts to be closer to his family. Its hard being almost a thousand miles away, but I have to remember that I own a phone. I hate talking on a phone. But I have to remember that I OWN A PHONE. Family is getting older. So am I. I miss all of them.I enjoy spending time with all of them. My parents dont travel here as frequent as they used to, nor do they fly. I'll probably try to go home for a weekend in July.
Marc need to finally go into business for himself. I've said my intentions for opening up a place of my own. Once again...see the issues with motivation  above...I need to push harder in looking at property. once that is secured, I have to get other things rolling because its already started. I'd much rather be a 40 year old bartender who owns the place that a 40 year old ...bartender...
Marc needs to try and get back into art. Look, making beer and wine is an artform. I enjoy that immensely. I can truly unleash my creative side. I also know that an artist doesnt center on only one art style. I can draw.I can paint. I can sculpt. I got a goddamned degree in art for Christ's sake. I have ideas to create things. Motivation and time.
Marc likes to sleep. A lot. Let me sleep. I am a night person. I hit my main stride from 10pm to 3 am. I work a 9 to 5 job...the other 9 to 5. Im comfortable with that. I dislike mornings. I can wake up early if need be, but not for no reason. I've always been that way. I've tried to go the other route with working day jobs and school and ive been miserable. Sometimes its just a person's internals that dictate their timetables..its how i am, and im content with that.
Marc can be very passive aggressive. It can be a blessing and a curse. I shy away from confrontation. Ive never been in a physical fight. I also could use more skills in standing up for myself. Choosing the right battles and how to fight them . Being constructively aggressive and not doing stupid things or getting into stupid arguements. I've done stupid things by not thinking things thru fully.Take a moment and think for a second.Step aside and wait. Think of my actions, the consequences and how would I deal with something if things went badly.
Marc needs to remember to not change things that are important to him at his core.I need to remember to always be true to myself, for sake of being true to others in the process. I will not change those things that make me...me. I don't need to be put into situations wherein a change is required, whether it be for a job, family, relationships or friends. Be true to yourself.
That is all for my soul searching today....

What do you want to be when you grow up

Most parents, or adults when conversing with a young child tend to at some point, ask the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Most kids are quick to answer back with the obligatory, policeman, astronaut,nurse, cowboy, baker..etc..
Which is all fine and dandy, but i think i would appreciate much more a simpler answer of being 'happy". No matter what the child does for a future living, as long as the child is happy doing it, or living a happy lifestyle, that would be the best answer for me. Not whats pushed on them by society, or what they went to school for, or what their parents would like them see them do with their lives. Being happy should be paramount of all that.
That being said, I'm at a point in my life where I've met someone and am very happy. She loves me for who I am, what i do and where i want to be. Is supportive of my decisions and appreciates that her actions are reciprocated as equally as i can and enjoy giving back. I also have an idea of what I wish to do with myself. I have found a niche that in a parallel way, corresponds with what I went to school for in a art degree and what i currently do for a living in working in the restaurant and bar industry.
I have a passion for creating things and constant learning new ways to do them,especially with food and drink. One of my largest passionate hobbies as of late is beer and wine production. I relish in the science of it, the exploration of it, sharing it, and giving them to people to enjoy them. Yes, I may still be relatively new to the production and have a lot to learn, but as with working in the service industry, you learn as you work. There really is no other way. You may read all the books written by experts, and as smart as it is to gain your research, you learn the most being hands on.
So, being "happy" is doing something you love to do. Its the pinnacle ascension of anyone that works wants, to do something you love that makes work not work, but a passion and a enjoyable hobby. That would entail me wanting to pursue a ownership of a establishment of my own, preferably a brew pub where I could focus my own products and deliver them to a discerning and appreciative public. I view myself as a giving person and wish to contribute my talents to a community (all the while giving them a buzz..haha).
Working for one's self is a desirable and pioneering spirit that is part of the American spirit. To start from nothing, and make something of yourself. You may fall down a few times along the way, but that makes you be judged not on the cause of your falling, but how you get back up and correct yourself. My father is a shining example of this. Being an immigrant here, came with nothing, became a citizen the right way, worked himself to the bone, failed along the way, got back up and became stronger and made a very nice life for himself and his family. Even in his old age and numerous struggles that comes with age, he is still adverse enough to overcome whats put in front of him. It's inspiring.
I'm doing my research, looking into legalities, property, logistics, financials and production.
Make beer, good food, own a place, make people happy, be with people I love.
Lets get this done. Boots to asses. Thanks to my friends who are already standing behind me on this as well as my co-workers and employers. You will not be forgotten in this process.
It's not my goal to be a millionaire, though I wouldn't complain if it happened. It's not my goal to be a huge entity in my community, though to make the community a better place is an aspiration. My goal, to have people around me that I love, a place of my own that provides a service i love to give, live comfortably, maybe start a family, constantly experience new things, and to just be "happy". It really isn't as hard as people make it out to be.

2011 review

Its was a very long road this year. that road got very bumpy during the middle of the year. Even though the speedbumps came, it was still a very productive and interesting year full of new experiences,places and faces.
2011 Year in review.

Finances: 7.0  -1.0 from 2010
I downgraded this one point because I spent a LOT of money this year. I am financially stable, but I didn't save anything this year. I spent a lot of money on home improvements, vacations and personal debt to my ex because of said home improvements. I don't regret it however, because the house is more comfortable and user friendly now, and I have a lot of good memories and knowledge from my travels to new places this year. I would do it all again. I hope to save more this year. I want to move some investment money around to safer and more profitable accounts. I am pulling alot of my stocks out due to an instable market.
Work- 5.0   n/c
Not much change from last year. I am still senior staff there. I've applied to other jobs and continue to look for new job leads about every other week. I've had a couple of interviews this year, but they were for jobs in new places that still haven't been built yet, so I am still waiting on  a spring callback. I realize that I am a replaceable employee, and that hastens my looks for potential new employment. there has been a rash of interworkplace drama, that for the most part, I haven't really been involved in, but it still isn't too comfortable to be immersed in. It is time for me to 'leave the nest" as my boss said in a related discussion with him earlier this year.
Social Life-7  up 2.5 from 2010
This is up a lot from last year. I have made new friends, hung out with a lot of different and new people, and reconnected with a couple of old friends. I see Chris and Jillian when they make time to hang, but they are still very busy. Now that their holiday retail season is over, it may free up more time. I've been seeing Doug more often, and he is doing well. My friend Sean lives in Phoenix now, but I don't see him anymore. I think he's still dating my ex's friend, so that may be a little awkward. I've usually have had people over more on the weekends. I would have liked to have a lot more people over, but I'm not about to start mixed company drama. I may get into that later. I'm just saving myself drama.
Love life- 5 down 4 from 2010
This is way down. Reasoning? I no longer have a girlfriend. My ex and I had a lot of differences come to the surface this summer and it turned out to be irresolvable ones.  So she moved out this past August and I haven't really heard from her since. I received a chaffing email a few months ago from her that had some teeth to it. So I responded. It was not pretty. More than likely i will not hear from her again, and if that's the way it has to be, sobeit. I didn't want to part on a bad note, but if its brought down, I have no choice but to finish it off. I'm currently dating, who I see is my personal business other than that. I'm starting to think that since i turned 35 this year, having children may not be in my future. Especially seeing that my choices of women has shifted from women aged 22-30 to women aged 30-40. I doubt I will find a young lady with enough mental capacity or experience to handle someone my age. I.E.- my ass is getting older.
Spirituality-5.0   n/c
I have no big changes with this stuff the past year. I went to midnight mass during Christmas and it wasn't anything special. I don't really like going to church. But when I'm home, I know it makes my parents happy, so I don't mind going. Besides, as Dad likes to say, you don't really need a church to talk to your God.
family-7.0  up.5 from 2010
I really have no reason why I rose this up a smidge. I was able to see family a little more this year. My parents were well enough to travel to Arizona after 2 years this past October. Nobody left us this year. My cousin Richie decided to shape up and enlisted in the Army. Some old age health set backs here and there, but nothing life threatening. It was a calm year for the family, and that's good.
Health 6.5 up 1 from 2010
I increased this a little bit because I lost some weight, found new ways to exercise, and have some new technology health tools. There is still a lot of work to be done, but the ground rules have been set, and I can move from there. Its just a matter of getting off my ass more and be more motivated.
Overall-5.5 - down .7 from 2010

Down, yes. Primarily due to my ex leaving. I think that may have been a good thing though, so I am not letting this score truly reflect on my state. I think that I am in a better position than I was last year this time. I achieved a life goal or two, made more wine (even got a gold medal in it), learned how to surf, travelled some of the world. Learned how to renovate a lot of things around the house. Learned how to make beer, good beer, and keg it. i made some karmic justice with some things in my past, either by returning things or apologizing to people for transgressions made in order to bury a couple of axes.  I have a lot more things potentially opening up this coming year, ways to save more money, be healthier and happier. That is probably my primary goal this year, and in life in general, to be happier. Whatever or however that is accomplished is, well, up to many different interpretations and options, but it seems easy enough. Whether it be a new job, enhanced love life, or health. those can all be attained within reason. I'm eager for this year, I feel its going to be a good year. It's the year of the dragon, my year, and I've been waiting for a while to have it come back around, so I definitely am ready. Come get it.